MIL asking what our purchases cost!

[JDM625]

DH and I are renovating a derelict house.

MIL previously worked in sales, but nothing to do with renovations or household items! Whenever she sees our new lawn mower, curtains, a mat etc- she asks how much!

No, she is not looking to buy similar! DH and I now avoid mentioning we've bought anything and when asked, don't tell her an amount. I've lived in the UK 20yrs, but was born abroad and find her questioning incredibly rude.

Other than F&*k off, any wording you'd use to tell her its rude and irrelevant what we paid?

"Oh I can't remember...change subject"

Good idea 😂

“It’s very gauche to talk about money MIL; you’d think a woman of your age would know that by now”

Accompanied by a hard stare should sort it.

My mil loves asking how much things cost. Even vegetables. Some people are just always comparing and guessing the cost of things and are interested.

I think that’s an old people think

not really judgement

just want to know cost of things as it’s all new to them

my old MIL does it

Snap. Except mine says, really that cost 800€ ?? I have the same one but it was only 400€€ and then I have to hold myself back from telling her thing is visibly cheaper looking than mine because that might look petty.

Ime it's because she can't have nice things. Fil was tighter than a duck's......
When he died she holidayed like a celeb....

Why is it rude to ask what something cost? I'd ask my adult kids that, and their spouses, and they'd ask me the same. It's just part of taking an interest in a new purchase

I would just say breezily, “oh, I never look at the price of things” and move the conversation on…

Its rude because its none of her business!

If the amount we say is anything above what she would have paid 50yrs ago, its accompanied by comments like 'Oh, HOW much', 'You should have haggled them down', 'well you didn't get a good deal there did you!'

@Hkgyvd Why do you need to know the cost of THEIR items? Have you ever considered that it might make them feel uncomfortable about your prying?

This was quite rude and unnecessarily aggressive pp was just giving her opinion.

I think you are being a bit too precious about this. I don't think she means any harm but if it's annoying just tell her you don't want to discuss money or get your DH to tell her it's rude and annoying and to stop. If you don't communicate your dislike of course she's not going to stop.

I love telling people how much I've paid for things if it's a bargain so this wouldn't bother me.

A £5 book token and 2 empty ginger bottles.
Every single time.
She'll get bored before you do.

It clearly makes you uncomfortable and you're entitled to your views but not everyone feels the same way. It's not considered prying in my family. My kids often volunteer how much something costs before I would ask, and they freely ask me. But then again I don't make negative comments like you say your MIL does, I can understand that with those kind of comments it feels more intrusive.

How do you know the OP's MIL is old?
She might be 50 for all you know.

The cost of most things is readily available by a quick Google, it's not a rude question in itself, prices aren't secrets

What is annoying you is the response to th answer so tell her you won't be answering as she always makes a negative remark and if she wants to know she can look it up and see what sort of response you gey

MIL is 78 if relevant.
When I said she used to work in sales, this was before she retired 12yrs ago.

My grandmother would always ask what everything cost and no matter what you said, would reply ‘How much?? I reckon they saw you coming.’

She’d say this every. single. time. Come rain or shine, no matter how bargainous your purchase or if she had a clue or otherwise as to the going rate for such items. She was lovely, but that one habit did used to grate. A vague ‘oh, I’m not sure, I can’t remember’ used to heard it off a bit but she’d look baffled as to how anyone could possibly forget such vital info!

@Hkgyvd In my circle (apart from grandma!) it’s considered very rude to ask somebody what they paid for something, just like you wouldn’t dream of asking someone what their salary is. But I guess in families we often have a level of intimacy that’s over and above standard manners and no harm done if everyone is happy with that.

I’ve got a friend like this, they have to ask how much everything’s costs. I find it so rude. No idea why she thinks it’s appropriate to ask, I’d never dream of asking someone how much they’d spend on x, y or z.

How does being born abroad make any difference? In England it is rude to ask such questions, as I am sure it is abroad, too

What’s her intention? Is she just interested in the price of fish or us she hinting at something else?

Thank you. Yes, I've lived here long enough to assume its rude here too.

Some cultures think its fine to ask someone's salary, comment on people's weight so thought maybe I was missing something or others think its normal.

No idea?

I'd just tell her and me and OH would roll our eyes and giggle later on. Who cares? It's just conversation. She could Google it. It isn't private information. Can't imagine being ruffled by this 😂

Same.

But then my dc are also bargain hunters and proud to share what they have found / sourced for less than you might have expected to pay.

They don't "need" to know, but you've told them about something, so they are showing an interest.

Most conversations isn't "necessary" - it is just that - making conversation.