MIL asking what our purchases cost!

[JDM625]

DH and I are renovating a derelict house.

MIL previously worked in sales, but nothing to do with renovations or household items! Whenever she sees our new lawn mower, curtains, a mat etc- she asks how much!

No, she is not looking to buy similar! DH and I now avoid mentioning we've bought anything and when asked, don't tell her an amount. I've lived in the UK 20yrs, but was born abroad and find her questioning incredibly rude.

Other than F&*k off, any wording you'd use to tell her its rude and irrelevant what we paid?

Less than we can afford, change subject.

Or half the price you actually paid, then if she wants to buy one like it - oh, sorry made a mistake.

I agree with you.

Me too!

I think a lot of people are missing the point here. The odd query about "oh,.just out of interest, how much was it?" is fine, and not rude if its done politely and in a non demanding/nosy manner.

CONSTANT questions and interrogations about how much you spent on every little thing in your home and then when you tell them, they act horrified and as if you are some irresponsible spend thrift IS rude AF and it gets very wearing after a while. Thats what the OP is describing - its not just the enquiry- its the fact she's asking about multiple things and then acting morally disapproving of it- surely people can see how that comes across as rude?

haha this- I'd be having some fun with it.

I'd be telling her that everything cost 99p. "Oh the lawnmower?- yeah we got it for 99p- massive sale on at B&Q, so lucky". The washing machine?- yeah it was 99p, we had a really good discount voucher. Our new car?- would you believe it was 99p?- amazing deal, we haggled them right down!!"

You must stick with 99p though and eventually she'll get bored and stop asking.

I ask my adult dc the cost of many of their purchases and they ask me. We often just volunteer the info especially if we’ve got a bargain. If it’s expensive we show sympathy and solidarity that that’s just what things cost. There is no judgement

Thailand and some African countries.

"Oh, gosh, I cant remember, but I do know that it has been worth every penny!"
"Can't remember, but best buy ever!"
"Can't remember, but I highly recommend it"
Can't remember, but I absolutely love it/so useful"
Etc
Only positives. She's looking to be negative.

Hard stare always makes me think you think you're more imposing than you are, when the reality is somewhat sadder 😂😂 I'd just say I forgot/don't know and drop the conversation.

TBH, @JDM65, the only place I’ve really come across people endlessly asking about how much we’d paid for this or that, how much we earned, etc. was in a Mediterranean country where dh and I lived for a few years.

In the U.K. it was generally considered frightfully vulgar, darling, to talk about money, which is why I was very taken aback when a new (Brit) neighbour asked me (in the early 80s) how much we’d paid for our house. It just wasn’t done.

Nowadays, of course, he’d just need to have a good old nose on nethouseprices, which is what dh and I do. 🙂

I wouldn’t consider it rude per se, but would be baffled as to why it’s of interest to her. I mean it’s not secret squirrel stuff as anyone can look at Google these days and get a rough idea of pricing if they really want to know, so there’s no problem with her actually knowing. It’s the ‘why she wants to know’ that would baffle me as I couldn’t give care less who spent what on what as it’s just such dull information that wouldn’t get air time in my head to begin with.

Well that’s different. It’s not rude to ask how much something costs. Nor is is “none of her business” - it’s information that’s publicly available freely online. However your real issue is how she responds after you tell her. If I asked I’d be curious, not looking to tell you how frivolous you’d been buying it! My mum is similar. I change the subject or say I don’t know. Doesn’t avoid all the comments though because if she sees parcels in my hall, I still get a comment. I remind myself it comes from her own anxieties about spending money which come from her having not had any for a long period and habing no one to rely on but herself.

My mum does this too. If she moans about things costing too much I remind her that’s because prices are always increasing for everything

But what’s interesting about the cost? Unless you are going to buy it.
Look up the word 'obtuse'.

Or, think about a situation.
A buys an item.
B wants to show a friendly interest. What can B ask?
What is it?
How will you use it?
Where did you get it?
Have you wanted it for long, or was it a spur-of-the moment purchase?
How much was it?
Are you happy with it?
Can I have one? 😉

There are some people who are comfortable talking about money, and some people who are not. I would have told my parents about the item and all the relevant details, including the price. But then, as a three year old, hearing my father tell my mother how much he'd paid for his new car, I asked 'Cash, or hire purchase?'