Funeral costs - do I need a reality check?

[cloudjumper]

For background - my SIL passed away a few weeks ago, and BIL is now organising her funeral. He’s told us that it will cost £6000! It’ll be a cremation.

I have never had to organise one myself, is that really what it costs to hold a funeral these days?!? If so, how can people afford this? Do you use life insurance etc? I’m just trying to get my head around this.

We got a wicker one for my Mum, we just preferred it to the look of the heavy wood ones but I was surprised it cost more
My brother kept referring to it as The Ikea Wash basket during the funeral

I have the family history paperwork. My grandad died in 1973 and his funeral cost £200. My dad died in 2008 and his cost £2,000. My mum died in 2019 and it cost £4,000. All of them had a car for the family but just one, a decent but basicish coffin , all were cremated.
I thought that if my husband and I live for another 20 years the funeral cost could be over way £10,000 and we’d be paying for it out of our pensions. How do people afford this. My husband and I had worked hard to clear our mortgage and we weren’t used to having that money so I used it to pay off 2 funerals . When we die our son just calls the number and they allocate a local funeral director. The money is protected by the financial services compensation scheme. This gives me some peace of mind .

I haven't got married and I wouldn't be lavish if I had but when my mum died and I was planning her funeral i wasn't trying to prove anything. I was grieving and wanted to give her something lovely that felt like her. It wasn't lavish but over £4000 to the funeral home and another £1,000 for beautiful flowers (she was also a botanist) and a nice cream tea wake in a nice pub. We are still working out what to do with ashes but that may nudge it to the £6,000 mark.

@cloudjumper I'm an in-law in a similar situation, so this might be upsetting for those in a similar place with a very ill SIL. The PIL are also very frail, so this year will be tough for everyone.

They are a terrible family for communication. And in-laws are very much kept at a distance so I'll just be supporting DH.
I suspect they will all want big, public statements. Almost certainly horses.
Are siblings generally expected to chip in? SIL has lead an extravagant life, defying normal accounting, so I'm now worried we could well be asked

It's going to be a bit of a mess with respecting everyone's point of view, with slightly estranged husband, children, manic best friends and parents with strong views. I can see that a service will be helpful. How did you and your DH navigate offering support. Was standing back the most useful thing?

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Just paid for one myself. It was 5k for the funeral itself. And then the wake was £2,500. But it was a free bar and nice food. It was a good send off.

Sorry @cloudjumper just realised this thread is from last year. How are you and your family doing?

Well my mum was cremated and it cost about £5000
But she was Catholic so we had a requiem mass ,then a drive round the crematorium, short service there and then another drive to the local Golf club for drinks and a buffet etc
There was also the cost of the coffin ,flowers, s hearse ,one funersl car ,donation to the priest and the organ player.