What would you say to your 20 year old self?

[Prontehpronto]

Hey, with the benefit of hindsight what would you tell or advise your 20 year old self?

You are not fat at a size 8, you will be loved again if you become single and being single will not be the end of the world, you are beautiful!

You are totally right to hold out for the right man. Don’t worry he’s out there.

Move out of your parents house and invest in property asap.

Listen to Trinny and Susannah about dressing for your body shape and colour, and never deviate. It’ll change the way you dress forever and stop you wasting money on clothes that never suited you and you never understood why.

People don’t care what you look like or what you do as long as you’re authentic and kind. Laugh at yourself more. Stop pouting and chill out.

You are NOT fat.

Read and educate yourself.

You are as good and as worthy as everybody else.

Work out. Physical fitness matters.
Look after yourself physically and mentally. Self care matters. So prioritise your eyes, teeth, skin and your mood.

You are not on this planet to be an emotional support human to your father or your draining, demanding, selfish 'best friend.' It's not only okay to say no, and to place equal value on your own needs, it's essential.

Develop a healthy sense of your own worth and don't seek validation from men or colleagues.

People pleasers find it hard to make friends. Stop being one. Stand up for yourself. If some people don't like you, it's no big deal. Others do.

Make enough money to live well. It's not wicked or greedy to earn enough to be out of debt, with spare to save or spend on having fun.

Next year you’ll meet the love of your life, don’t fuck it up

DO NOT MARRY HIM

Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
A long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now

Know your worth. You’re gorgeous, make the most of it. Don’t marry him ! Move abroad and have adventures. There is plenty of time to settle down and have kids. Sort things out with your sibling because it’s never too going to be repaired. Don’t take shit from your mother.

Stop wasting time on bad boys. They are usually quite pathetic, sad little men.

Stop obsessing about your looks. Great looks attract the wrong types anyway.

Learn to care less about what people think. Their opinions don’t matter half as much as you think they do.

Do the hairdressing course. It will be good to fall back on in later life.

Stop smoking! Now!

You are far more capable than you realise. You can do anything you put your mind to. Stop doubting yourself.

Unfortunately I'd be saying this to my 35 year old self as well, which happens to be now.

I’ve not has the greatest adult life, divorce, lame jobs, not much money but I’m still not sure I would change anything. I believe everything in my life has led me here and I am happy here. I would maybe tell myself that a pension would be a good idea and not to fritter money away but other than that I’m good.

Quit the boring degree that you think you like and go do jewellery making or illustration as you will love it in the future.

When that guy pokes you in the chest to shut you up, walk away. It’s the biggest red flag you need and it gets much, much, much worse.

You don’t need a Man!

Don't give up the driving lessons and find a job you actually like.

Don’t settle and stop putting others before yourself. Go travel retrain and do what you want to do, not what others think you should. Oh and get therapy imagine what you would have realised so much sooner.

Pay attention to yourself. He is destroying you. You don't need anyone's permission to leave him.

Learn to stand up for yourself and believe in yourself

And an oddly specific piece of advice to 20 year old me, DONT take that job, it sounds amazing but that man will ruin your life (and others) stay far away, listen to your uni tutor who is telling you it’s not a good idea!

Do the masters degree you want to do, not the one your parents want you to do

What you have learned so far about men and relationships is 100% wrong. Step away from them now, start looking at them as human beings. You owe them nothing.

Most of your uni friends also have no idea what they are doing. This is not your fault.

It will all be ok in the end; very ok in fact.

Please don’t blame yourself for your childhood. None it was your fault. You’re autistic.

Don’t give a shit about what people think of you..with bells on!!

That introverts are the absolute polar opposite of extroverts, and you just need to stop comparing yourself.

"Well done, you have a lovely baby boy. Now divorce his Dad before he ruins the next 7 years of your life. He's not sorry, he won't change, and you can't bloody change him."

"Leave your hometown. Do this for you, before your kids get settled with schools or you'll regret it later on."

"Check your boiler frequently. And buy a bloody carbon monoxide alarm."

"Don't bang on the wall when the new guy moves in and plays his music loudly all night. He has anger issues."

"Your 21st sucks. Sorry. Might suck less if you don't leave going to the dentist until the last minute."

Buckle up it’s going to be a rough ride! But you will get through it. It’s probably better that you don’t know what’s ahead.

You have ADHD. You're not weird. Go to the library and look it up - everything will make sense.

And, you don't want to go out with him. Trust your gut, no matter how much he tries to talk you round. He's bad news.