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Original poster

Anonymous hurtful and extremely personal attack on facebook

117 replies

Yorkiedoodle · 05/05/2025 12:31

Afternoon!
3 years ago I recommended I solicitor to someone who had put up a post asking for experiences on a mums Facebook group. Regrettably as the separation was fresh I also said something along the lines of “I hope she’s good!”

Today, I receive a notification from an anonymous poster. They have written some very personal things about me, accusing me of cheating, trying to take him for every penny (and not being happy with what I got) weaponising my daughter (we have her 50/50). Using my new partner’s money to go on holiday, as well as other things. None of which are true but she’s put so much detail in that it’s wild. TBF we have just come home from Malaysia (which my partner and I split equally).
The group admin have ignore my requests to tell me who is throwing these accusations around and I am extremely upset.
i have an extremely happy life since my separation, i enjoy my job, love to travel and my daughter seems to be doing really well at school and with extra curricular pursuits. Why would someone come after me like this, three years later.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yorkiedoodle · 05/05/2025 14:57

ToKittyornottoKitty · 05/05/2025 14:56

What did he reply?

Show quote history

He won’t reply. He might read it in a few weeks but I’m under no illusions he will reply.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yorkiedoodle · 05/05/2025 14:59

honeybeetheoneandonly · 05/05/2025 14:56

All you needed to say (if anything) was "It's been three years. As they say, the best revenge is to live your life well"
Your life is great after the divorce. Yay you.
Is your ex still bitter? Has he not moved on? Three years seems a long time to hold a grudge if you have nothing to do with each other, esp if it's not your ex himself who posted. I honestly would let this wash over you. Having fallen on your feet, you have only upset people who would have revelled in your failure. Post divorce you should be smiling.

when we attended parents evening together in March he was very cold. I asked him if he was okay and he told me he still has so much anxiety over our divorce, that’s why he won’t reply to any WhatsApp’s I send regarding our daughter. It made me really sad because I’m in such a good place now and wish nothing but the same for him. He has been with the same woman since we broke up.

OP posts:
MadCatHag · 05/05/2025 15:09

Maybe it's the admin...

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Relationship problems
LoveFridaynight · 05/05/2025 15:20

It's not a nice feeling. I had some pretty nasty comments from someone in one of the FB groups I'm in. I simply sent him a message asking if his parents were proud of him for being nasty to people on social media. Then I left the group. Bit of a shame as it was a good group.
My point is just ignore them. Keep everything private or just come off social media for a bit. I think the more you react the more they enjoy it. I wish I hadn't replied to my nasty message but horrible as it is try not to let it get to you. They must have a very sad life to be so interested in you.

Waterweight · 05/05/2025 15:24

Yorkiedoodle · 05/05/2025 13:41

Absolutely no one. I am completely and utterly baffled at who it could be. They called themselves a struggling single parent and I do not know any at all. Everyone I know with a child is in a happy relationship. They have accused me of saying I only eat beans on toast which is absolutely wild.
I have a great job, a lovely home and lots of hobbies. I thought they must be confusing me with someone else but they said they watch my Instagram so can’t be confused?

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Possibly just mistaken you for somebody else if you post a lot photography stuff rather then yourself/family & stalk you on socials.

Id try one last time with the admin but ultimately you can't let randoms dictate your life. Just block & hopefully they'll get bored & fuck off

Yellowpingu · 05/05/2025 15:29

It’s a three year old post so just delete your comment!

myotheraccountsa · 05/05/2025 15:35

Yorkiedoodle · 05/05/2025 14:40

The person references the amount of money I got in the divorce. I told nobody this. I’m pretty shocked my ex husband would tell someone else. Such personal information.

It's so obviously either your ex or his gf

RinkyDinkDrink · 05/05/2025 15:44

Coffeeishot · 05/05/2025 12:55

That wasn't really clear, the group has an anonymous function go to their real name and block them. If you are being harassed or stalked you can report them to the police. You can also report to Facebook and not go through group admins,

Edited
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How can she go to their real profile? It’s anonymous as you’ve said yourself 💁

RinkyDinkDrink · 05/05/2025 15:45

legoplaybook · 05/05/2025 13:03

Anyone reading that message will just think it's obviously the new girlfriend or ex-MIL and will conclude the solicitor did a good job.
The anonymous poster looks pathetic. You don't need to defend anything. You've moved on.

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I agree with this.

Original poster
Yorkiedoodle · 05/05/2025 15:45

myotheraccountsa · 05/05/2025 15:35

It's so obviously either your ex or his gf

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I would be so sad if it were his girlfriend, she seems nice, my daughter likes her and she’s a primary school teacher (not that they are above being unkind).

OP posts:
MadamCholetsbonnet · 05/05/2025 15:46

Is XH GF a single parent? Not that this part of the message is necessarily true…

I would strongly suspect the GF.

ChinneyTits · 05/05/2025 15:52

If you delete your comment won’t her comments be deleted too? If not, I’d respond by telling her to kindly fuck off and then block the page and move on with my life.

Original poster
Yorkiedoodle · 05/05/2025 15:52

MadamCholetsbonnet · 05/05/2025 15:46

Is XH GF a single parent? Not that this part of the message is necessarily true…

I would strongly suspect the GF.

No. She has no children but would certainly be the only one I’d suspect of having intimate details of our divorce settlement.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yorkiedoodle · 05/05/2025 15:52

MadamCholetsbonnet · 05/05/2025 15:46

Is XH GF a single parent? Not that this part of the message is necessarily true…

I would strongly suspect the GF.

No. She has no children but would certainly be the only one I’d suspect of having intimate details of our divorce settlement.

OP posts:
Megifer · 05/05/2025 15:56

Delete your original comment, or give a thumbs up emoji to every one of her comments. Not the little blue one an actual giant yellow thumb reply.

Silly boot.

Enthusiasticcarrotgrower · 05/05/2025 16:03

Id probably reply with the laughing emoji. Don’t let them get in your head.

Freehugs · 05/05/2025 16:06

The poster sounds completely unhinged, I mean they would have had to search your name in that group to bring up posts and comments you made then gone through them all - that’s a tad obsessive. Could the gf be pregnant hence joining the group?

I personally would have called them out.

1 - posting anonymously, if they were going to try drag your name through the mud at least have the balls to do it with their own name. 2 - going through your old posts, that’s a stalker flag and highlight how sad their life must be. 3 - point out that whilst she’s posted anonymously that the groups admins can see her actual account then just a wink emoji (I mean she doesn’t need to know they are refusing to tell you but might make her shit herself). 4 - highlight that you have sent screen shots of her comments to your ex and highlight how mortified he must feel about this nonsense 5- smile emoji and thank her for making you chuckle this afternoon. Then don’t waste any more time or let it make you feel bad.

Just out of curiosity is your ex still in love with you? I mean if he’s moved on why on earth does he have anxiety over the divorce and why isn’t he able to reply to what’s apps?

Gymmum82 · 05/05/2025 16:08

Honestly I wouldn’t give it a seconds thought. You’ve just come back from Malaysia with a (presumably) much better partner than your ex. I don’t know who was the driving force behind the divorce but it seems he’s still reeling from it. My first thought would be mum, sister, girlfriend but as you don’t think it’s any of those it must be someone he’s revealed personal information to.
You got what a court deemed you worthy of in the divorce. It’s no one else’s business and since you’re divorced I’m going to assume your ex is a bit of a twat and he probably deserved it. I’d actually find it quite funny that someone needed to come back 3 years later to try and make me feel bad for divorcing someone and taking what I was entitled to.

legoplaybook · 05/05/2025 16:39

Yorkiedoodle · 05/05/2025 14:18

I have sent him a screenshot of one of the messages to ask him if he knows any single mothers and if so, to ask them to calm down.
we have a rather civil relationship where we will only talk about childcare arrangements (50/50). So I don’t think I’ll be getting a lot from him. If it is not him, I hope he is embarrassed that clearly someone he confided in has gone and slashed details of his private life on Facebook.

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Stop feeding the drama!

Coffeeishot · 05/05/2025 16:51

RinkyDinkDrink · 05/05/2025 15:44

How can she go to their real profile? It’s anonymous as you’ve said yourself 💁

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The op said she knew who it was,despite them posting anonymously on the Facebook group so if they were blocked they wouldn't be able to see the op.

Teenagequeenwithaloadedgun · 05/05/2025 16:53

If someone is that much of a coward that they send anonymous, bullshit insults then they aren't worth your time. Block and ignore.

EastGrinstead · 05/05/2025 16:55

Yorkiedoodle · 05/05/2025 14:12

sorry, I forgot to write in my original post that she describes herself as a struggling single mum.

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It must be a struggling single mum as no poster has ever lied on social media -

Anonymous hurtful and extremely personal attack on facebook
Jcak · 05/05/2025 17:06

I’ve got a plan. Go to your ex’s profile and his girlfriends and block them both, then go back on the post and if it’s gone that would mean it was one of them posting anonymously.. I’ve double checked and even when posting anonymously if you’ve blocked them you won’t see it if the post was theirs!

healthybychristmas · 05/05/2025 17:16

Oooh very good idea, @jcak!

JustMyView13 · 05/05/2025 17:17

I’m utterly convinced this is your Ex.
Initially I suspected his DM or DS (if applicable), but your later comments clear that up. It’s got to be him. Nobody else would care enough to comment 3yrs on.