Anonymous hurtful and extremely personal attack on facebook

[Yorkiedoodle]

Afternoon!
3 years ago I recommended I solicitor to someone who had put up a post asking for experiences on a mums Facebook group. Regrettably as the separation was fresh I also said something along the lines of “I hope she’s good!”

Today, I receive a notification from an anonymous poster. They have written some very personal things about me, accusing me of cheating, trying to take him for every penny (and not being happy with what I got) weaponising my daughter (we have her 50/50). Using my new partner’s money to go on holiday, as well as other things. None of which are true but she’s put so much detail in that it’s wild. TBF we have just come home from Malaysia (which my partner and I split equally).
The group admin have ignore my requests to tell me who is throwing these accusations around and I am extremely upset.
i have an extremely happy life since my separation, i enjoy my job, love to travel and my daughter seems to be doing really well at school and with extra curricular pursuits. Why would someone come after me like this, three years later.

No. This is a completely new person. The person who posted the post that I answered (then had all these anonymous messages) even asked why someone was dragging up a three year old post.

How do you know it was the same person if they’re anonymous? Anyone could have looked through your social media.

Screenshot it and your requests to the group admin for their name and for the posts to be removed.

Tap on the comments to bring up the option to report to Facebook. You can report to Group Admins or direct to Facebook. As the admin isn't being helpful report direct to Facebook.

They might not be very quick to respond but if they deem the comments inappropriate the poster could receive a ban and the group admin a warning.

You're letting a cowardly stranger hurt you, really? Nah.

Has the admin of the group removed this person's attack? Because they absolutely should have.

I mean, i definitely don’t. But I certainly don’t know the original poster and we have no friends in common on Facebook. But at this stage… who knows?!

I definitely need some tough love. I’m being such a marshmallow about this. I’ve left the group after reporting it to the admins.
nothing more to be done.

But if the post is anonymous how do you know it’s a “she”?

I'd ask admin to remove the original post, and make your private life private OP. Have a good look at who it is that actually follows you on your accounts (eg who's consistently watching your IG stories and so on). Making an account private is unlikely to make much difference given that they already seem to follow you.

Its understandably rattling but I'd try to remember that whoever it is obviously has their own issues (otherwise why would you even spend time on this sort of thing) or may even have been told untruths by someone else and feel they are simply sticking up for the wrongs they feel you've done someone they obviously know/are close with. To lurk around on someone's social media posting anonymously is incredibly pathetic really, they've embarrassed themselves.

If your ex has a partner I'd be looking in that direction, or one of his family members. There isn't realistically anyone else for whom his perceived financial circumstances relative to yours would even matter in the slightest. He wouldn't be the first to blame an ex wife for "taking everything" when all that's really been taken is what was owed or deemed legally fair if this was the case.

sorry, I forgot to write in my original post that she describes herself as a struggling single mum.

I’d only worry about this if she iOS potentially around your child Can you ask your ex for his thoughts?

I have sent him a screenshot of one of the messages to ask him if he knows any single mothers and if so, to ask them to calm down.
we have a rather civil relationship where we will only talk about childcare arrangements (50/50). So I don’t think I’ll be getting a lot from him. If it is not him, I hope he is embarrassed that clearly someone he confided in has gone and slashed details of his private life on Facebook.

Op has answered this a few times , the poster describes herself as a single mum .

It’s very likely written by a male who is trying to cover his tracks by throwing in that “other single mum’s like myself” line.

I think PP are wrong to suggest you should just forget it. You're being defamed on a public forum. Message the admins you will be seeking urgent legal advice for defamation and that by keeping the comment live they are enabling it and could become liable. Doesn't matter if you don't get legal advice, just call their bluff so it's taken down.

You need to do a wagatha Christie style smoke out of your insta

if its a facebook group, you should be able to search the membership list for any names you know?

The person references the amount of money I got in the divorce. I told nobody this. I’m pretty shocked my ex husband would tell someone else. Such personal information.

Ignore them.
why let it bother you?
I had some idiots calling me all sorts last week over a comment I made about a football club I follow. Comments like ‘Get back to your sink Karen’ I just laughed it off. And laughed back at them. Let them get on with their sad lives while I enjoy mine. They don’t even know me.
F em I say.

For future reference: on the Facebook website, visit a user profile and look at the URL in your browser's address bar. This will often show the user's real name or a version of it - it's the name they first registered with.

Won't always work because trolls, obviously, register with made-up accounts. But can sometimes be revealing.

OP, you've done the right thing and can just let this go now. People can't help being weird!

Block, ignore, don't get any more notifications from that post.
I'm a man, and a primary teacher. I recently got called a paedophile on a local Facebook group by someone who diasagreed with something innocuous I'd written. Well it was something like ' ur a thik peedo' but you get the point. I contacted Facebook who did nothing, and then the local newspaper whose page it was on, and they took it down instantly. I didn't follow my own advice of block and ignore, and asked a 'no win no fee' solicitor to take on the case, who told me it would be £500 plus VAT to discuss it. I'm not a paedophile, and luckily none of my colleagues or parents of children I teach think that, but that was unpleasant, so I sympathise with you. I wish I had a spare £500 plus VAT to have sued the person for libel.

I think we all would be much happier if we didn’t have any social media at all.

As hurtful as it is OP, please ignore it. Take no notice. Don’t engage. Keep your profiles private. Vet your followers and friends lists and delete anyone that you no longer have contact with.

Then have a social media break. For your own mental health and well-being.

Laugh at them.

Reply saying crikey, looks like I've got my very own stalker. How empty must your life be to be obsessing about mine.

Do a laughing face then never respond to another thing they say,
or just use emojis - Laughing, smiling, waving, whatever,
or talk about your new life as a star with a stalker, how you're thrilled at the recognition and youll autograph a photo for them for twenty quid.

Find the right trigger for them and it'll drive them absolutely bonkers. You'll live rent free in their head.

I did something similar to a wanker once. They followed me round the site for ages while I laughed my tits off at them. Brightened up many a dull day.

What did he reply?

All you needed to say (if anything) was "It's been three years. As they say, the best revenge is to live your life well"
Your life is great after the divorce. Yay you.
Is your ex still bitter? Has he not moved on? Three years seems a long time to hold a grudge if you have nothing to do with each other, esp if it's not your ex himself who posted. I honestly would let this wash over you. Having fallen on your feet, you have only upset people who would have revelled in your failure. Post divorce you should be smiling.