Anonymous hurtful and extremely personal attack on facebook

[Yorkiedoodle]

Afternoon!
3 years ago I recommended I solicitor to someone who had put up a post asking for experiences on a mums Facebook group. Regrettably as the separation was fresh I also said something along the lines of “I hope she’s good!”

Today, I receive a notification from an anonymous poster. They have written some very personal things about me, accusing me of cheating, trying to take him for every penny (and not being happy with what I got) weaponising my daughter (we have her 50/50). Using my new partner’s money to go on holiday, as well as other things. None of which are true but she’s put so much detail in that it’s wild. TBF we have just come home from Malaysia (which my partner and I split equally).
The group admin have ignore my requests to tell me who is throwing these accusations around and I am extremely upset.
i have an extremely happy life since my separation, i enjoy my job, love to travel and my daughter seems to be doing really well at school and with extra curricular pursuits. Why would someone come after me like this, three years later.

Anyone reading that message will just think it's obviously the new girlfriend or ex-MIL and will conclude the solicitor did a good job.
The anonymous poster looks pathetic. You don't need to defend anything. You've moved on.

Defending yourself to the real person will do nothing but upset you further. You know what happened. It is over, in the past and everyone directly involved has moved on. This post is just an attempt to stir up trouble where there wasn't any. Going grovelling to them is going to be playing to that. Let sleeping dogs lie. If this person continues, take screenshots and keep records so you have evidence when you contact the police regarding harassment.

I know it’s not the point of the post but ‘too eloquent to be his mother or sister’ did make me chuckle!x

No one is going to pass personal data to you, so instead of demanding admins tell you who it is, ask them to delete it. Or you can delete your message.

Your original post doesn't really make much sense what does you recommending a solicitor have to do with somebody attacking you 3 years later ?

& Secondly the person attacking you clearly knows you in real life so privatising your social media isn't much use. Can you re-message the admin asking for information as your filing a police report ? If they don't respond id be more concerned it's somebody involved with them not your ex.

It sounds like you want to 'win' the argument but sometimes the way to get the upper hand is not to stoop to their level. Just leave the group and forget it. Not worth it in the slightest.

Can you imagine being so full of spite or jealously that you go to the effort of stalking someone, having an anonymous fb account and then putting the time into writing a modern day poison pen letter?

Whoever it is, she seems to be unhappy. If she wasn't, why would she do this?

You've alerted the group admin, so screen shot the message in case something else happens (and put it in a folder you won't see unless you look for it) and forget about it.

She doesn't mean anything to you. I wouldn't even bother replying. Leaving her wondering if you even saw the message she so carefully wrote will drive her more mad than any witty reply could.

@Yorkiedoodle in your OP did you mean you were the one asking for recommendations for a solicitor, rather than recommending one to someone else?
I think that's the only way your 'I hope she's good' comment makes sense.

i included the first part because it was what I wrote three years ago that she replied to with these messages. Sorry if it’s not actually relevant. Admin will not tell me who wrote the post. So I don’t really know where I stand other than knowing someone is watching me.

Reply with "Aren't you lovely" and a kiss emoji. Then ignore.

Someone had asked for recommendations for a solicitor. I recommended mine (I should have just given the solicitors name and not said anything else).
this anonymous person has then replied to my comment three years later with a diatribe of accusations. The first of which was to have a go at me for hoping I got a good solicitor.

This ^

Delete your original post.

Just stay away from social media. It's not worth the stress and well it's pointless

Nah. I just wasn't sure if it was that group or your only public mention of seperation/legal advice

Now it's been cleared up it's obviously somebody who hasn't seen you in a while whos stumbled upon the group - anybody currently going through a break up or recently given birth in your past ??

How do you know it’s a she, if they’re anonymous op?

Absolutely no one. I am completely and utterly baffled at who it could be. They called themselves a struggling single parent and I do not know any at all. Everyone I know with a child is in a happy relationship. They have accused me of saying I only eat beans on toast which is absolutely wild.
I have a great job, a lovely home and lots of hobbies. I thought they must be confusing me with someone else but they said they watch my Instagram so can’t be confused?

Sorry, I missed in my original post that one of her messages described herself as a struggling single mum.

Step away from SM. No one really cares about you and your life except your family and friends. Don’t give petty keyboard warriors a second thought.

If it's a closed group, then a) your ex b) his girlfriend or c) some other woman he's lining up to be the next girlfriend so has been giving her the 'poor little me being picked on by the mad abusive ex' spiel has just joined the group and has been lurking on Facebook under another name.

It's poorly written (using 'myself' and commas where there shouldn't be any), contains lots of detail about you and includes a specific phrase designed to throw you off the scent; my money's on it being him.

It sounds like someone who has a massive axe to grind with you and for whatever reason (alcohol? mental health) has just let rip. I agree with the poster who said people will read it and think it's a nutter, but how horrible anyway.

(FWIW I had someone on Mumsnet that I knew irl and she did something similar to me, years ago. Much less identifying as we weren't using real names of course. The details were all topsy turvy and incorporated bits and pieces from other people's stories. But she was having a breakdown. It still really hurt, it was a lot to read about myself!)

Delete your original post/comments.

Leave the group - there is no way any of the groups I admin/own would tolerate someone digging posts up from years ago (or even on a new post) and writing a load of nasty accusations. It'd be deleted and the group user booted asap. So this is a badly run group.

Check your message requests on FB in case they've sent you anything nasty there - if it crosses the line, report to the police. I've actually just done this last week as some randomer has sent me threats to come to my house and stab me and I have no idea who he is or why - police have taken it reasonably seriously (as in, they'll come and talk to me at some point and it is a crime, but not rushing round here!).

I would just reply with 😂, leave it maybe 24 hours, long enough for the anonymous poster to see it, then delete the original comment, which will delete all the replies too. Then forget about it.

So someone using the anon feature on FB asked a question 3 years ago that you answered and has now added a comment to the 3 year old post?

I don't see how else you can assume it's the same person, is that right?

It's not the same person - the anonymous poster found a random post the OP replied to 3 years ago about solicitors and has replied to it.