Do all babies learn how to eat anyway?

[bananasinabowl]

I have decided to do Traditional weaning as the fear of my child choking is too much. She had a tongue tie when she was a baby so feeding issues have been with me since the beginning. I really wanted to do BLW but now the time has come, I have chickened out. She always sticking out her tongue or trying to lick something etc but I just can’t imagine her knowing how to chew.

I did a first aid course last week and nope, that didn’t make me any less anxious. Probably made me worse to be honest knowing hard you have to give back slaps to a baby if they are choking. I just can’t imagine doing it. I’d freak and cry.

So therefore I have started her on purées this week. I am not sure when to change textures etc but I am hoping I can follow her lead.

When are they able to eat what I eat comfortably? Everyone eats eventually right?

We did smooth purees for about a week then moved to lumpier stuff. They learn alot by watching you so make sure you eat in front of them/with them. We did move onto BLW after a month or so when my confidence was built up. I bought the pouches a few times just so I had an idea of how lumpy to make the food. But you eventually come to learn what baby can handle.
As for back blows, if you're ever in that situation you'll just do it instinctively

My DD wasn't interested in food until she was about 9 months old. I did purees and 'solid' food that would melt when wet so minimal chance of choking. She's 2 now and chews her food beautifully.

More importantly, last weekend she was coughing and making noises like she was gagging and I knew I had to flip her and slap her back just to make sure she didn't have an obstruction. I've always thought I'd never be able to do it for crying but when you're in that moment, you don't think, you just do because your baby needs you. If you ever find yourself in that position just know that your instinct to protect her will prevail

If they choke, show no alarm or emotion whatsoever. They will 99% clear it themselves.

I'd be concerned she'll pick up on your fear and it'll almost become a self-fulfilling prophecy or she'll end up with issues around food and eating. I saw it with a friend years ago who had a disproportionate fear of her daughter choking. In particular, I distinctly remember one evening her toddler giving a cough whilst she had food in her mouth. Her mum cried out that she was choking, ran at the child and rammed her finger in the girl's mouth to pull out the chip. Kid grew up with issues around eating, a very limited diet and it caused her no end of bowel problems (particularly constipation) so toileting issues got added to the mix as well.

What other help could you seek for yourself?

Whether puree or finger food (fwiw I combined both), veg led weaning is the way to go. You start with savoury veg (e.g. broccoli) rather than sweet veg (e.g. carrot) or fruit. Any modern weaning book should have a veg-led approach (e.g. Ella's Kitchen purple book, which I recommend). Give one flavour/food at a time initially before doing combinations.

In the early weeks your aim is for the baby to try different flavours/textures. They may not swallow much if anything. Nutrition is still coming mainly from milk in the early stages of weaning. In the early days, don't be tempted to give something sweet such as mashed banana just so that they eat something - better they try savoury flavours even if they screw up their face and spit it out!

Introduce one allergen at a time so if there is any reaction you know the likely cause (any decent weaning book should have info on this).

If doing purees a handy tip I was given is to make large quantities then freeze in ice cube tray. Once frozen transfer the cubes to a freezer bag and keep frozen til needed. In the early days a meal will be one cube and 95% will probably end up in their hair. But as time goes on a meal might be 5 cubes - maybe a combination of vegetables, some protein etc.

Even if using purees, your baby can still be involved. Feed baby from a bowl in front of them (ideally.a stuck down one!) and give them a spoon. IKEA do a set where it's a long handled spoon for the adult to use and a short handled one for the child. Let them get their hands in the food, feel it, smell it.

Give food before milk so child is hungry and motivated to try. Talk positively about food e.g. don't say 'I don't think you like that' if they screw up their face.

You can start with one 'meal' a day. Breakfast is then easy to add in (one spoonful of porridge oats and milk in microwave for a short time is a good place to start). No need to buy baby porridge, normal oats absolutely fine to use. Can blitz them for smoother texture but ideally you want to get baby used to textures early on.

Good luck!

They’ll only learn when allowed to practice so whether you do it now or further down the line, you’ll need to make the move to more solid foods eventually. The book ‘baby led weaning’ (pic below) is great at explaining it all in detail and may help put your mind at ease re babies ability and the risks.

Have you meant any older children, teens and adults who don't know how to eat? (Disabilities aside)

When I weaned my DS, now 19yo, baby led weaning wasn't a thing. I fed him purées and the odd bit of finger food. He's not a fussy eater at all, he eats everything and anything!

I've done both BLW and purees.

Two of my babies choked on purees and went blue and silent. I was very glad of the First Aid courses I had done years earlier. I just got on with it and cleared their airways. Afterwards I was shaking, but the babies were fine. They wanted to get back to their meals!

None of them ever choked during BLW.

Personally, I think it's easier to cough up a small lump than a purée.

The first dc I did BLW with is now 22.

‘Traditional weaning’ is a mix spoon and finger foods.

when are they able to eat what you eat - from 6 months.

One of our DC got the hang of it around 9 months with things like toast and banana.
Our other DC was awful with gagging even on completely smooth purree, also on medication for severe reflux. She didn't start eating chewable food until 11 months, the attempts before that led to her gagging which we felt there was no need to put her through as she was already not keen on meal times. She ate completely fine once she was ready, you couldn't have told the difference between her and a friend who did BLWs child by 12 months.
BLW is a fairly new concept. In the past toddlers were often on purely milk diets for much longer, and lots of cultures in history mushed food or chewed food for young children. They still all learnt to chew!

This is how I introduced food to both of mine (now 3+ and 1+).
At 5 months: touch a different food each day to baby's
mouth 3x p/d
At 6 months: if baby hasn't tried eating yet encourage
biting or tasting a different food every day, 3x a day
for a week; then introduced one "allergen food" in
the same way, three days in a row so that 2 are
introduced per week. Include at least one other
previously tried food daily.
By 7 months: all allergen foods should have been tried
and baby should be exploring food in her/his own

I did a take on BLW and used Solid Starts as my guide. I continued to bf as main source of nutrition, but as the months went by baby also began to eat more solids. I began offering food throughout the day in month 7-8, be it a piece of whole/sprouted grain toast with butter, a bit of rice with butter or evoo mixed in, chunky mashed banana, orange segments, plum halves (a fave), chunks if corn in the cob (major fave), cooked steelcut oats with butter and a sprinkle of cinnamon (still a fave) and some mashed banana or soft berries, you get the picture. I cut up meat into strips and baby would sort of gnaw at it at first. Anyway, Solid Starts is a good guide and I just used the free version. I've see a lot of posts where the parent is super anxious, but if baby is meeting all the criteria then delaying the introduction of solids (and allergen foods) is not helping them. Just educate yourself first and sit with your baby when she has food. They are remarkably capable.

We have a large number of children in this year’s reception cohort who do not appear to be able to bite and chew. They seem to be afraid of taking a normal
sized bite of any food, instead they take tiny bites like a quarter of a pea and seem to expect the food to dissolve in their mouth without moving their jaw at all. It does seem like they don’t know how to bite and chew normally. I do wonder if this is because they have only ever eaten purées and melty toddler snacks and other things that are very soft. The school food is things like pasta, curry and rice, jacket potato so nothing particularly difficult to eat for most children, but we have so many this year who seem to like the taste of the food and are happy to have it but cannot bite or chew.

Hi OP, i totally understand where you are coming from. DD2 had a 90% tongue tie, reflux, loads of issues feeding and with her tongue, we ended up with a referral to paeds due to SALT's worry about her tongue. It was all super stressful.

We had a long chat with our super HV about weaning. We took a very slow approach and did the traditional puree + finger food. I'd say DD2 wasn't bothered by the finger food or lumpier textures until 9/10months? Not sure if that's related to all the tongue issues or she was just a bit chill about the whole process! She's always had a tiny appetite - even when it came to milk / feeding.

We also did have a choking episode. Like you, I had done a first aid course. Instinct kicked in, I whipped her out the highchair, did the back blows etc. Took her to the GP for a check over and she was fine. And everyone commented on how well I'd done and well done for doing the first aid course. So you've done the right thing in preparing yourself.

She's now 13months and starting to get better at big lumps, biting mouthfuls of solid food (helps that she also has about 10teeth now to make it easier for her). But it has been a bit of a slow process.

I found the How to Wean Your Baby book by Charlotte Stirling-Reed to be really good and she has an insta account called sr_nutrition. It has purees and finger food. There is also an Ella's Kitchen cookbook called The Purple First Foods One, which again has different levels of lumpiness + finger foods. For later months, when baby is eating more solid food, I really like the recipes in the What Mummy Makes book which are designed for everyone to eat together.

It def seems more scary before you begin and you'll soon get into the hang of it. One thing I would say is that with DD1, I bought into the "oh you don't need any special equipment!" I did all the steaming either on the hob or in the microwave and then blended with a stick blender and it made so much mess / generated so much washing up. So for DD2 i saw a tommee tippee food mixer thing on sale that cooks, steams and blends everything for you. So you just stick in the raw food and then leave it to do it's thing. It made life much easier! There are lots of different brands online that basically do the same thing though so might be worth a look to take some of the hassle away.

Research has shown there isn't an increased risk of choking when doing baby led weaning Vs traditional weaning.

Go with whichever method works for you.

I get your fear, but generally the earlier babies are introduced to lumps the less likely they are to have an issue with texture later. Early BLW is about coordination and very little gets eaten, most things are licked and gnawed and spat out. Things baby can hold in their hand are good, long strips of cucumber, fairly thick. You could easily do mixed weaning by giving puréed good with some hand foods alongside.

I used purées to wean all 3 of mine. I added lumpier textures slowly and finger foods when ready. All were eating normal foods from about 12-14month. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way tbh, just preference.

Good advice here. I will add that corn on the cob is great for gnawing on and kept all three of my kids occupied for 20 mins 😀

Please try to enjoy exploring food with your baby. This should be a fun, messy time! Top tip: greek yoghurt stays on a spoon more easily than normal yoghurt!

Also recommend the BLW book @Tooearlytothink linked to - it’s brilliant and explains choking, swallowing etc in lots of detail.

BLW is actually much safer than purées and once you understand it you may well want to switch.

@bananasinabowl
New-ish & 1st time Nana here 🙋‍♀️ Dgs is coming up to 12 months.
BLW wasn't a "thing" when I had dd 36 yrs ago.
I completely understand your fear.
Dgs started on purees then moved on (to my horror) to BLW (7 months).
I was constantly afraid he'd choke.
He started on cooked carrots, cut into long lengths, so he can pick them up.
Then lots of different soft foods such as broccoli, pasta etc.
He's never actually choked but does gag if he's put too much in his mouth.
He basically deals with that himself, he gags and spits the food out, he'll also take food out of his mouth himself if its too big a bite.
I'm constantly amazed by his ability to "save" himself but we constantly watch him, always within arms length.
He now eats sandwiches, roast dinner, spag bol, sausages, pasta, Yorkshire puds, pancakes, baby melty type crisps.
He's only got a couple of teeth to help with the chewing!
Hope my little tale helps ❤️ babies are an absolute wonder!

You need to move quickly to mashed rather than more liquid puree, easier too as you just mash with back of fork and shred meat with too forks. We found that within a week or too the could take this plus start giving soft lumpy foods that they can eat with fingers eg banana, avocado

Yes they do. I did baby led weaning with my child and it was brilliant. By seven months old he could eat a lamb chop or chicken leg off the bone (remove the little bone in the chicken leg first!) So I was all set to do blw with my next child but then he ended up being preemie and needed to start solids at six months but developmentally he wasn’t ready for food so we did purées instead. Both children learned to eat just fine. So I would say do whatever works for you! Babies can still choke on purées so if it’s something that particularly worries you, make sure you know what to do just in case it does happen.

It was ! Dd is 18, 19 in October she was baby led (DC2) so much easier than the super smooth purees I did with DS in 2004. TBF she weaned herself by grabbing food from my plate aged 5.5 months.

Fatal choking is much less common than you think, I think it's around 1% of all fatalities under 4?

BLW offers protection against choking as babies learn to map their mouth and develop those muscles.

Babies chew innately, have you never put your finger in her mouth?

Trust the process, and seek some support for your anxiety?