What do people in their 80s eat?

[Shoppingagain]

It might sound like a stupid question as I am sure everybody is different but I am wondering as I don’t think my elderly parents (80s) cook any more.

They used to heat things up in the microwave and use the oven for something simple they could put on a baking tray but it seems like too much trouble these days. They haven’t cooked anything like veg on the hob for a long time. They don’t make anything on toast even. So they must be living on snacks and things they can take from the fridge.

I do their shopping but they won’t accept any help in cooking or preparing food as they are very independent. I’m not even allowed to make a cup of tea!

Maybe I won’t feel like cooking in my 80s either so I am wondering what the ‘norm’ is and any ideas on what I can get them to eat that doesn’t involve much preparation.

when i worked in a care home they made them apricot crumble, marvellous
unfortunately so many of them are on lactulose that it had a bad side effect, so of course, rather than give up the lactulose, they give up the apricots!

DH and I, both not far off 80 have Completely different eating habits. He cooks curries, duck and chicken. On doctors orders he has dramatically cut down rice,pasta and red meat. He has breakfast and a meal about 4pm. No lunch and no evening snacks.
i just eat breakfast at 11, sometimes cereal sometimes cooked. What I eat fits on a tea plate. I don’t get hungry so I might have some crackers in the afternoon.
Neither of us eat cakes, biscuits or sweets. Our appetite has reduced dramatically as we got into our 70s.

it is far better for your parents to only eat enough to satisfy their appetite than over eat. I know my family would be appalled to know that I exist on a tea plate or cereal bowl of food. You sound very caring, but I think you have to trust them.

My dad and stepmum are in their 80s and I do their shopping plus I do a weekly meal plan. If I didn’t, they’d live on sweets and crisps and wine! Whenever I’m cooking, I make up some frozen meals for them - things I know they’ll like such as chicken stew etc. They’re both independently minded but quite frail physically so they appreciate having ‘real food’ in the freezer.

Did they used to be interested in food? I like cooking and making different things and I like eating.
My husband had absolutely no interest in food or cooking and if he lived alone he would probably be like your parents.
I would say that 80 year olds have as wide a variety of tastes as 70 , 40 or 30 year olds. I do think appetite lessens as you get older but if someone has been interested in food and cooking I don't think it disappears as you get older

Could they have meals on wheels delivery a few times a week? It’s proper food and while not restaurant quality it’s ok. (If available in their area)

I should add that a normal day for my dad would be porridge for breakfast (he has it every day without fail), lunchtime he often has soup so I buy the chunky meat/veg kind which at least gets some calories into him. Dinners are things they can easily assemble so they might have a meat pie (air fryer) with ready made mash and fresh broccoli. The mash and broccoli can both be done in the microwave. They are also open to trying new things so they’ll cook a chicken breast in the air fryer and then have it with korma sauce, and micro rice. Another favourite is creamed cabbage which they have with chicken kievs.

A lot of it is packet stuff but every meal has fresh veggies included too. They take multivitamins every day too.

My mum has just switched to Wiltshire Farm Foods meals, they are all-in, with veg as well, and they can deliver them into your freezer (and I think they are designed for older people. And I think someone from WFF rang up to take Mum’s next order as well, so all going smoothly so far

@Rictasmorticia i see that a bit in my father in law at 85 - he eats pretty well but only small amounts but tends to snack a lot - albeit crumpets or bananas or nuts

I think at that age they should eat what they fancy.
My parents eat ‘normally’- pretty much what I do now/ what we did as a family. Mil ‘has no appetite’ and lives off olives and sherry and the occasional posh ready meal.
I read somewhere “think picnic” when tempting older palates- small, strong flavours. I’ve successfully fed older relatives/ filled their fridge with the following. Nothing overwhelming or that needs preparation.
Scotch eggs
Pork pies
smoked salmon
Ham
Falafel
cherry tomatoes
little beetroots
olives
portion size trifles and fools, crème caramel and chocolate mousse
Satsumas, blueberries, strawberries, bananas.

Interesting to hear all the different experiences and that actually a lot of older people do still cook.

My mother always cooked for the family and my father did a bit in later years but I think they have lost interest and also they find everything hard.

They are very fussy and stubborn and only want to stick with what they already have even though it’s not working for them any more. It sounds daft but they would be horrified if I suggested delivery meals.

Also they don’t want to ‘bother’ anyone. If I turned up with a cooked meal they would not eat it (there would be a random reason why not) and if I occasionally get them something a bit different to try they give it away to someone who calls! If I offer to open up a tin or put something in the oven or microwave, I am not allowed! Yes it’s a weird dynamic for quite complicated reasons.

I will definitely get more of the small easy to pick at cold prepared foods (good ideas from pps, even things like jelly, custard and rice pudding) and just offer to help if they say they are struggling with the oven/microwave. They do have capacity to make their own decisions so having read the responses to the thread I will let them as long as they are eating something.

Yep I wouldn’t bother with what I call ‘dinners’ clearly there is some underlying reason they don’t want to say - maybe they have just’go e off’ them or struggle with teeth etc - who knows!!

I think maybe try stocking up fridge like an Xmas buffet table with bits and see if it gets eaten -

Also remember the difficulty in opening packets and tins. I struggle with yogurt tops.

Prunes AND beans - kept her insides clear

If you think it's a worry about getting hot food in and out the microwave, do you think they'd consider using sistema pots? You can get ones with handles and a little steam vent on top so it would reduce the chances of spillage and they could always transfer to proper crockery once at the table.

My parents eat what they’ve always done - just much smaller portions

MIL will only cook using either air fryer or microwave now. So will have a chicken breast or steak or potato done in air fryer with veg done in microwave or salad.

plust lots of biscuits. 🍪

My dad (early 80s) still cooks but I think he finds cooking for one hard so has more straightforward meals like pasta with a sauce or salad if it's warm. My gran lived well into her nineties and only in her last couple of years did she really stop cooking and move to more ready meals. Partly I think because using the oven / standing for pre longed periods became more difficult. Both were / are fit and active do burning calories which makes a bit of a difference.

My nan was 90 when she died.

She always had weetabix, those porridge sachets or toast for breakfast.

Sandwich for lunch (only half usually, her appetite reduced massively in the last decade of her life when she had little mobility)

Usually a ready meal (from those places like Wiltshire farm or whatever it was called) for dinner. She didn't have the ability to stand, cut, chop, peel etc due to rheumatoid arthritis.

She bloody loved a cream cake though

My Mum will often make a tomato sauce and freeze, she'll usually add it to pasta or put some meatballs in the sauce and veggies on side. She bulk freezes roast potatoes and will serve them with chicken, steak or salmon. Often has scrambled egg, mushrooms and cooked tomatoes. Another meal usually jacket potato or salad will salmon, quiche or chicken.

My mum is 92.
She always makes porridge for breakfast.
She has a sandwich, soup or something on toast for lunch.
She used to batch cook things like stews and portion them up in the freezer, or cook herself a piece of chicken or a lamb chop. Recently (only in the past couple of years) she's started to have those Wiltshire Farm meals delivered because she can't really be bothered to cook for herself any more. Can't say I blame her! If she comes to us she will eat a roast, and I will make her some small fish pies for the freezer or portion her up something that we are having, in which case she will cook some veg to go with it (mostly cabbage!)

Protein is important for the old particularly if they have become immobile.
Drinking milk helps. On a couple of occasions when my mother was in hospital she started to get pressure sores (which made me a bit cross, it never happened at home) and all the carers and the public health nurse commented on how fast she recovered once she came home - I'm sure the milk contributed to that.

I haven't read any of the responses, but my Dad is a very competent cook (meat and two veg. style dinners). He still cooks for himself, but now it tends to be quick and easy processed things like fish cakes or a chicken curry pie. At some point he went off mashed potatoes but never substituted them with boiled baby potatoes or roasties or some other variety of potatoes. He never really took to pasta or rice, although he'll eat lasagne if he goes to a restaurant.

He has porridge for breakfast with blueberries. He cooks a full Irish breakfast on Sunday mornings.

My sister and I take him out for lunch on Sundays (we alternate) so he has a good dinner once a week.

He never ate much fruit.

I should add that he has issues with acid reflux, so he tries to avoid eating big meals. And some things are off the menu (even though he likes them) because they really aggravate his reflux.