What do people in their 80s eat?

[Shoppingagain]

It might sound like a stupid question as I am sure everybody is different but I am wondering as I don’t think my elderly parents (80s) cook any more.

They used to heat things up in the microwave and use the oven for something simple they could put on a baking tray but it seems like too much trouble these days. They haven’t cooked anything like veg on the hob for a long time. They don’t make anything on toast even. So they must be living on snacks and things they can take from the fridge.

I do their shopping but they won’t accept any help in cooking or preparing food as they are very independent. I’m not even allowed to make a cup of tea!

Maybe I won’t feel like cooking in my 80s either so I am wondering what the ‘norm’ is and any ideas on what I can get them to eat that doesn’t involve much preparation.

I think the dementia preference for sweet things is a well known/documented thing.

can you sort out access to the microwave and get the small portion ready meals from M&S? The roast dinners went down very well with my Mum., and she would eat a few things from the other ranges eg the salmon with watercress sauce.

otherwise she ate sandwiches, cereal, jelly, pre-prepped fruit, bananas, little tubs of pudding things like mousse or trifle … and ice cream, specifically mini magnums, which disappeared at an alarming rate! But, calories matter at that age.

also leaving an opened box of biscuits or chocolates around if sufficient calories is an issue, if you don’t open them they will be put away for a “special occasion” but once opened they disappeared.

you can buy very nutritious soup

My DM (RIP) used to have Weetabix for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch and the small size M&S ready meals for dinner.
MiL (97) still cooks for herself from scratch. She eats a lot of fish and vegetables but still loves to add additional flavours. She usually cooks us a meal when we go and visit!
My close friend's parents, however, seem to live on biscuits unless someone else cooks for them.

My FIL at 85 is actually eating better than he was when his partner was around (RIP) as their cupboards then seemed to be full of crisps and cake but little actual food to be seen when we visited- I never once had a meal at their house, . He has porridge and fruit or 2 crumpets with butter and a banana - a half of a quality baguette ( prawn mayo or chicken salad etc ) from a great bakery , some nuts and cheese cheese biscuits plus a glass of red early evening and then a ready meal with added veg - once a week he has fish and chips from the chippy and once a week he takes himself out to a local pub for a meal - has a roast dinner with us every other week or a Saturday avocado on toast with tomatoes with us at the cafe. He does eat less, and often doesn’t finish stuff but yes he does still like the odd cake or pie and custard and loves an odd Chinese takeaway - he looks good too , well groomed, very clean and walks at least a mile a day and does stretches. He’s not short of a bob or two which helps I guess , I do think he would like a woman around again though - he likes women in a bit of a mysoginistic way . No carer involvement yet but he has no issue with it if needed - I suspect he would get a regular housekeeper - ideally in her 60s and attractive - lol!!

My parents eat normal food.
My in laws lived on tinned soup and cake.

@Shoppingagain I know this isn’t the question you asked but if you are concerned about their diet I would look at Home Instead. My Mum had them and they would come in at lunchtime and make a hot meal for lunch and sandwiches for tea.

Stop looking at what they are eating and look more into the how. As I am becoming more disabled I'm coming across more barriers to eating than I had ever imagined.

They might feel too unbalanced to bend down for the oven, or worry about holding hot items, so make sure every thing is waist height with plenty of space around so they can drag food out of the microwave or airfryer straight onto the counter.

They might feel too unbalanced or in pain to wash up - do they have a dishwasher, if not get a small tabletop one.

Are their cups and plates in the cupboards below? Perhaps re-arrange so their favourite saucepans, plates, cassererole dishes are waist height or eye level.

Look at their freezer drawers and put regularly used items nearer to the top so they aren't unbalanced reaching down.

Get gadgets that help them open tins or bottles. Get individual microwave vegetable pouches. Get pre cut fruit. I struggle with holding knives, not just with the pain but being able to grasp properly.

As pp said - are they worried about the bills for cooking?

Do they have pain with their teeth or don't have access to a dentist?

That's all I can think of top of my head. Good luck in figuring it out.

My dad isn’t 80 yet but he’s not in the best of health.
He will gratefully accept anything I cook for him and heat it up, and he does make a casserole most weeks that does him for a couple of days.
He treats himself to a few nice ready meals from M&S and will do things like steak and chips.
I can understand why they don’t feel up to cooking for themselves but can’t grasp why they’re unwilling to accept anything from you. If you were to make soup or a casserole and take it round hot in a food flask would they not eat it? (perhaps if you were to make out it’s just leftovers and they’d be doing you a favour)

I am thinking it’s a practical problem more than anything as @LittleGreenDragons says above. They like soup but I can’t see them taking hot liquid out of a microwave confidently any more. This is all a recent thing so I am hoping they will start to accept more help in time. They are probably in denial too as I have broached a few things and they are acting as though everything is as normal.

They used to enjoy going out for meals or visiting family but those days are gone unfortunately.

A typical day for 89yo DM (lifelong vegetarian & massive creature of habit!) looks like..

Porridge with honey & a banana, cup of tea + orange juice with cod liver oil (🤢)
Homemade soup (usually lentil or vegetable) alongside a cheese + salad sandwich
Dinner is almost always some sort of potato, usually mash or chips with a mountain of veg + gravy

It’s not the most varied and it’s awfully low in protein but she’s happy and healthy.. this is the way she’s eaten for as long as I can remember and she’s one of the healthiest, most independent 89yos I’ve ever met.

When I can I try and make vegetarian dishes with meat alternatives like tofu, Quorn etc to get a bit of protein into her but she’s not a fan! A vegetarian who doesn’t like veggie food is a nightmare🤦‍♀️

I know that it gets more difficult to bother to cook, and you need less calories when you're older.
My elderly mum eats a very 'boring' diet by choice. But I always try and cook for her or share food I make that's a bit different.
She eats a boiled egg with toast, tomatoes and cucumber for breakfast.
Then lunch is either fresh shop bought soup with another slice of toast, or ham salad.
She snacks on cheese and eats sweet biscuits late at night. And loves drinking tea.
She always has salad or vegetables with her dinner.
She does like ready meals such as cottage pie but I always try and make something from scratch for her a few times a week.
This is someone who's a healthy weight but has diabetes.

Mum towards the end (cancer) did not eat much. I would give her soup for lunch and cook chicken and stuff but to be honest, as sooN as us kids left home she was a terrible snacker (peanuts, chocolate etc) and she never liked her own cooking despite being a great cook!

My paternal great mother died in her 90's and up until then walked miles and had a good appetite though the only thing I remembered her cooking is great vats of cabbage! (Must be where I got that habit from!). My Aunt tried to pretend she ate healthily but I would regularly see whole cakes just for her. Sometimes she would get cream cakes and not put them in the fridge because of the other shit she had in there. She was a fussy person before. Went through a raw diet faze, then had to have soya marge everywhere but hotly denied this later!!

My 84 year old mum eats pretty much everything, but in small quantities. She bakes all her own bread, cakes etc cooks from scratch and loves a roast, curry or stir fry.
My in laws (83 / 85) eat a typical diet, meat or fish with veg. The odd curry ....they use oven chips, frozen mash, cook in sauces for ease.

What about getting some meals delivered eg though Wiltshire Farm Foods? They come as a full meal eg chicken casserole, mashed potato and veg in a microwaveable tray.

Also you could get them a variety of ‘picky’ stuff like quiche, pork pies, ready cooked meats, cheese, salmon fillets, cherry tomatoes.

And cakes/deserts are good.

My mum is 80 and severely disabled now but still lives independently. She has moved to posher ready meals mainly for her meals as she can't pull a roasting pan or baking sheet out of the oven. She will get them from cook or m&s.

Have you checked their oven and hob to make sure they're working?

Has there been an incident they didnt mention to you involving a pot or pan left on the hob far too long, or even a minor fire incident? Has one of them dropped a full pot? (Older peoole dont have the same power in hands and arms that they may have had earlier in life).

Are they able to manage washing up and putting away of pots and plates after cooking a meal? Have they been ill from eating leftovers that were left out too long?

At their age, it might be a good idea to have their teeth checked. If they have false teeth, they may need to get them re-fitted, as gums shrink along with the rest of the body as people age. Also, a few years of eating a diet of fairly non nutritious food (snack foods, etc) can result in cavities, making eating painful.

My DM is in her early 90s and has never eaten more than a sparrow on a daily basis as long as I've known her. She lives on home made chicken soup (bones, veg, stock cube, water), eggs, toast, marmalade, porridge, bananas, Greek yogurt, the occasional potato/ sausage/ ham/ chicken / cauliflower/ broccoli meal that she makes herself, the occasional chicken curry with rice and occasional roast dinner delivered from a nearby gastro pub (one adult size plate lasts her three days), digestives, cheese, an occasional bite of ice cream, occasional toddler Hipp meal, and protein shakes which are doctor prescribed for supplemental nutrition. Also several pots of tea per day. It has been an enormous struggle to get her to drink water, which she never did when she was younger. Probably about 900 calories a day - her servings are tiny.

She uses the hob, doesn't trust the microwave except for warming up tea, and her oven isn't working right but she won't get it fixed or replaced.

Supplements - vitamin D and vitamin B12.

My DGM liked the easy sachets of porridge to put in the microwave and tinned peaches for breakfast.

She too had Wiltshire Foods and really liked the dinner type ones. She would often have them for lunch and dinner. She would have a small fish with a handful of chips sometimes from the chippy.

She always loved those small trifles or a cream cake.

If we ate out she would have a child's roast or a small plate.

I understand about reheating soup being a bit scary - would they make cup-a-soup to go with a sandwich? I'm only in my 70s but can't be bothered with the washing up if other half works late so will have cheese on biscuits or an egg sandwich and cup-a-soup. Sometimes I'll go mad and rustle up a cheese omelette with bread and butter. Finish off with handful of grapes or satsumas from the bowl. I don't do breakfast (too many medications first thing) and will just pick at what's there about 12ish - could be quiche/porridge pot with berries/cake and coffee etc (think I'm on borrowed time so health aspect not as important to me as taste)

I think all you can do is batch cook microwaveable meals that need no thought and hope they get their calories that way - I also agree with leaving open packets of biscuits around and fill the fridge with what we call picnic bits. Good luck x

Mine were relying more and more on ready meals so I got them some simply cook meals and they like them, usually there are leftovers but they have a gentle bicker as they follow the recipe and enjoy trying new things. Otherwise they eat bread, cheese, cold meat, fish…when my grandmother got too old (dangerous) to cook we used to order Wiltshire Foods for her, they were nice.
I fear if my mum is ever alone she will live on chocolate and wine!!

My Dad is 88 and cares for my mum who is 85. He's not a natural carer (my mum used to do everything), but he's doing his best. He does mostly ready-meals cooked in the oven or microwave - things like fish pie, but always with at least two fresh vegetables. He makes an occasional omelette. I think they have a sandwich for lunch and a simple breakfast.

My in-laws are both 80, they follow some kind of Michael Mosley diet which looks to be very limited in carbs, focusing on healthy whole foods as unprocessed as possible. They’ve always eaten very ‘clean’, no convenience foods (no crisps/ready meals/frozen pizza etc, the complete opposite of my parents who are both 60!).
I worry that they’re really weak and lacking in muscle mass, they’re both active and walk lots, she does Pilates too. They do really look after themselves and eat well.

A lot will depend on their state of health. DH’s parents are almost the same age as mine — early 80s. Mine are well, eat normally and cook hot meals daily, and my mother bakes cakes and tarts. DH’s parents are frailer, haven’t cooked in years, relying on one of their children to bring them prepared mini-meals, and FIL in particular has a hard time digesting anything other than bread rolls, soup, toast etc.

At the point where my mum gave up cooking, she carried on buying what she always had. She just didn’t cook or eat it. Once we persuaded her to buy what she actually would eat, she ate a lot of snacks. But not necessarily terrible ones, in the context of someone who needs easy calories.

She ate cereal or toast for breakfast, sandwiches, yogurts and fruit for lunch, and similar for dinner, maybe with a sausage roll or some cake. She liked a bit of ham and salad too. Orange juice. Biscuits.

If someone cooked her a hot meal she would eat a little, but really she preferred snacky food.

My Dad is in his late 80's, amazingly fit and healthy and has a great appetite. My Mum used to do all of the cooking so he really has not got much of an idea. He has cereal for breakfast and has just started having some fruit too. Lunch is usually a sandwich, boiled eggs or a crumpet or fruit teacake. He comes to ours for tea twice a week and takes a portion of whatever we had home for the next day. He will not eat pasta or rice so everything has to be quite traditional, no spices or curry. No garlic although I do put it in lots of things without him knowing. Sunday dinner is always a traditional roast, the other day he comes is usually stew, sausage and mash, gammon, fish etc. I also cook extra meals which he can freeze as does my sister when she visits so cottage pie, corned beef hash, chicken casserole, broccoli and stilton soup, Scotch broth etc. He has to have a pudding too, apple pie, crumbles, sponge puddings, rice pudding. On the days he doesnt have a home cooked meal he will eat Charlie Binghams ready meals but they are so expensive.

My dad is 84 and lives with me (he has Alzheimer’s) and his appetite has definitely declined in the past few years. He’s always been a bit fastidious and disordered in his eating, but now everything is “so filling” and “too much”. I sneak cream into his mashed potato and cheese into soups to try and get calories into him because he’s very thin. He eats mostly very traditional British food - sausages, mash, pie and chips, shepherd’s pie and veg, soups and casseroles. I have noticed his tolerance for textures has changed too - if a sausage is too singed on the outside, he will carefully excise the inside and eat that, whereas before he would have just eaten the whole thing. We’ve had a few minor standoffs in cafes when we’ve asked him what he’d like for lunch and he’s insisted that he only wants a cup of tea (he has to eat regularly because of his medication) but I can usually find something small and simple that won’t overface him. He is definitely more conservative in his tastes than he used to be, and is happiest with small portions of very undemanding foods.