What do people in their 80s eat?

[Shoppingagain]

It might sound like a stupid question as I am sure everybody is different but I am wondering as I don’t think my elderly parents (80s) cook any more.

They used to heat things up in the microwave and use the oven for something simple they could put on a baking tray but it seems like too much trouble these days. They haven’t cooked anything like veg on the hob for a long time. They don’t make anything on toast even. So they must be living on snacks and things they can take from the fridge.

I do their shopping but they won’t accept any help in cooking or preparing food as they are very independent. I’m not even allowed to make a cup of tea!

Maybe I won’t feel like cooking in my 80s either so I am wondering what the ‘norm’ is and any ideas on what I can get them to eat that doesn’t involve much preparation.

My mum still cooks, but meals are much lighter - sometimes poached egg and toast for her main meal etc, though occasionally something more, though simple to cook.

cereal and fruit in the morning.

soup at lunch.

My parents ate the same as they did in their 30's - just less of it !

If you do their shopping what food are you buying them ? They must be eating some of it.

My dear nana and grandma both lived till their late 90s. They were both on their own for many years.

My nana ate a lot of fish. Things like sardines and mackerel on toast. She liked hearty soups too
( veg, lentils and beans) She’d make a big pan of it and keep in her fridge for whenever she felt like it,
She used to get a cooked chicken every week from Morrisons and have that with new potatoes and a simple salad ( and give the left overs to her cat and dog😁)

My gran used to stew fruit and have it with porridge every morning. She liked a tea cake in the afternoon. Tea and was usually simple but hearty, meat, potatoes and veg. She made a good bubble and squeak with left overs.

I’ve noticed mum’s (80) appetite has decreased. She became tearful when we were out and she was presented with a carvery. She would have demolished it a couple of years ago. Now she just likes a starter portion of goujons for example,and then says she’s full all day.

Well they were eating it and I used to get the same things every week eg ready meals they could heat up in the oven or microwave or tinned stuff they could have with toast. However recently I have noticed that it is not eaten and also no washing up and the microwave is not even accessible any more. So I suspect they are not cooking at all. The last time I visited I offered to heat something in the oven and they said no!

They do seem to eat the cakes and the trifles!

Varies. My dad became quite difficult in hi eating when he got past 80. We used to make batches of pies for him to eat (steak and ale and chicken and mushroom) and he then ate these with chips. He did cook to a degree but (as is common with his generation), would cook vegetables to a state of absolute mush. My aunts (still with us), eat the same as everyone else.

My parents (mum 85 and stepdad 79) have porridge and banana for breakfast every week day, eggs and bacon or kippers at the weekend. A sandwich for lunch then a hot, cooked dinner most nights (usually pre-cooked, frozen then warmed up in microwave.)
Mum has dementia so stepdad does much more cooking now.

My parents ate exactly the same food as they always did, only smaller portions in my DF's case. My late DM was still feeding me a couple of times a week in her 80s, and loved eating out.

MIL is 89 and her portion sizes have got smaller. She still loves to cook though, when she visits us she's always offering to cook and often makes a pudding.

They are still eating cereal for breakfast in the mornings. It’s the cooking that has gone by the wayside.

Dad 85 eats and cooks normally (although it takes a while…). Mil is 90 and recently moved to a home. Before she was living on cereal, pre made soup and mini ready meals. And cake. Lots of cake and puddings. She was also prescribed those drinks for the elderly. Can’t remember the name but think they are protein heavy.

I’m not in my 80s but I am disabled so can only cook sometimes.

you can eat pretty healthy without heating food up but I don’t know how palatable that sort of food would be to that generation.

sp for example I might have smoked salmon on rye bread with avocado. The only thing I need to do is cut the avocado.

or hummus with carrot batons (you can buy them ready cut up in the supermarket) as I can’t always use a knife (tremors in my hands).

the prepackaged fruit and salads from the supermarket are also pretty good although I usually add some protein to the salads - I usually cut up some sausages that I cook in a big batch at the start of the week but cheese would also work.

Speaking as a retired community clinician with a mostly geriatric caseload, also as a 70 yo myself with older siblings, there is no "normal". Honestly, are they happy? Bowel movements not problematic? Not constantly ill with bugs? weight stable? Then get them what they want. Yes add in a vitamin if they will take it. I have spates when I just load up the fridge with no need to cook stuff because I know I will be busy or just want a break from cooking.

My mum could probably live off cheese on toast and scones and wonders why she's tired all the time, it is frustrating but I don't think there is anything I can do really.

They sound a bit like MIL. Do you think they would use an air fryer? MIL has totally embraced the air fryer, albeit largely for "beige" type food. She gets her food from Ocado and gets a lot of M&S things that work well in the air fryer - eg she loves those halloumi sticks or a battered prawn or chinese honey riblets etc ie sligtly more "adult" versions of nuggets and fish fingers!

She also eats sort of bready cakes - things like pannetone/croissants etc, quite a lot.

I worry she doesn't get enough fruit/veg/fibre but between us all she eats with us or with SIL Or whatever fairly often and will then hvae salads and veg etc. And she always gets veg dishes when she orders a curry.

Cooking and washing up is hard if you have mobility issues.
My Mum broke her hip a year ago and she wouldn't be able to do it any more. Dad does it all, he is a very fit 95 years old.
But Mum has to remind him to check all the hob/oven switches are off due to his memory issues....

My grandmother lived off half portions of tiny ready meals. She was an amazing home cook who grew most of her own veg, made bread regularly and as a farmers child, was very into food origin before it was a thing.
She said she couldn't taste much and as long as the texture was OK, she didn't care what she ate.

my dad is 80, he does a big cook up every few weeks. then he portions eveytimg up and puts it in the freezer. so roast meat, seperate box for vegetables. gravy, apple sauce etc. hes said his appetite is shrinking as he gets older though. he has a hearty breakfast ......weetsbix, muesli, dates and brazil nuts. fruit for lunch. then main meal at niht

One parent in mid 80s and one mid 70s.

Breakfast - porridge microwaved with honey, milk, fruit - banana usually

Lunch - toast with tomato & cheese, jam, tuna or cream cheese spread

Dinner - two or three independent meals per week, breaded fish/fish fingers in oven with boiled baby potatoes and peas, mini chicken fillets in a jar of curry sauce with rice, fry or omlettes

Older parent cooks and it is becoming difficult for them to stand, they ask the younger parent to help but their focus and ability is impaired so need to be supervised so things don't burn or are taken out raw. They don't like ready meals but will sometimes have a prepared lasagna or pie.

I provide the other dinners each week and sometimes soup for lunch and some baked goods. It's hard to watch them struggle preparing meals but I was told not to take their remaining skills from them. The shopping is done for them and they always have lots of fruit, biscuits, bread, yogurts, crackers and baked goods to choose from.

Some medicines reduce appetite and some increase it, it can be difficult to balance.
If the ready meals are not being eaten you could try and ensure there are some healthy snack type foods.

My parents would refuse food initially, they don't particularly love my cooking, but I always insisted it would go to waste and they don't like waste. It's taken a while to get to the level of acceptance we're at and it can be overwhelming to be responsible for everyone so see what you can manage easily.

Are they hiding cognitive issues? Have you been present when they make a cup of tea? That's a good way of seeing as you can only do it one way, but there's a sequential process. IME, there's also a change in what they like, sweet things in my parent's case, but also because of teeth and swallowing issues, there's a lot of cottage/shepherd's pie type food as it is much easier to eat. Swallow can become quite weak so choking is a risk.

I live with my parent (93) so do all the cooking and they eat like a horse.

That's interesting my mum says she doesn't taste much these days I wonder if that's why she's drawn to sweet things she also loves a trifle.

My Dad is mid 80s. Mum has passed away after a long illness, Dad took over cooking from her for quite a while before she died.

He has porridge or toast with marmalade every morning.
Lunch is usually soup, cheese on crackers or a microwaved baked tattie with cheese depending how hungry he is. Nearly always followed by a banana or orange.

A couple of times a week he will make a big batch of either stir fry, chilli or mince, something like that, which is easy to have for dinner 2 night in a row or freeze a portion for later. He does like simple veg like carrots and broccoli with his meals but doesn’t do it every time. I’ve encouraged him to use easy frozen veg if needed as it’s better than nothing.

The other 2/3 nights depending on how tired he is, he will have a ready meal.

He will sometimes have a biscuit with his coffee after teatime or some grapes, or both.

He drinks lots of water too, and doesn’t drink alcohol.

He loves to come to us once a week or so for a slightly more involved meal that he wouldn’t do himself. Still loves my roast dinner but eats a bit less than before and wouldn’t make it for himself now.

In my mother's case, very little. She eats the same RANGE of foods that she always has done but is now a hugely performative dainty eater. OK mum, we get it, your appetite isn't what it used to be and that's fine. What we don't need is a running commentary on what everyone else is eating, how portion sizes are so huge and gargantuan and how having a pub lunch on a Monday (and not eating all of it) means you're still stuffed at the weekend. Tiresome.