Neighbour banging on window at 2yo playing in the garden!

[Ibytam]

This happened about 15 minutes ago. These neighbours aren’t very pleasant tbh, I have no idea if either of them work night shifts but it’s the only reason I can assume a person would bang on the window because of a child playing in their garden, I figure they must be sleeping.

Anyway, I wanted to know what others thought of this because my immediate reaction has been to get him inside, it made me feel super awkward and I’m the kind of person who’s overly polite. After speaking to my mum, who seemed furious, I now realise maybe that was the wrong thing to do. She says it’s midday and you can’t stop people from being in their garden during the daytime just because they work night shifts, something that is entirely their own choice.

I can understand if he was screaming overly loud or crying etc, or maybe even multiple children screaming. But he was just going around on his trike shouting ‘beep beep’ whilst giggling to himself. Our garden is also in an L shape and he was actually playing on the side that’s furthest away from their house too.

What does everybody else think about this?

Get him back out in the garden. Your neighbours are being ridiculous.

Just ignore your neighbours - some people are just born miserable or they forget what it’s like to have a toddler in their lives. Enjoy your garden and the sunshine.

You have a reverse of my situation. Every time I am in the garden my neighbours 2 year old bangs constantly at the window, on the glass with a toy to get my attention. I waved once, big mistake. I ignore now but feel sorry for the kid as she never seems to get taken out. If she sees anyone passing she bangs it frantically, she must be so bored.

This is very good advice. It might also be a good way of opening communication so you get to tell them that you won't take the child in rather than awkward window gestures. There could be a little compromise. Maybe neighbour was very ill or had just received bad news and it was a one off. Or maybe they only have an issue on Tuesday mornings etc. What they did was extremely unreasonable.

Get him back out there with some sunscreen and let him enjoy the nice weather!
Ignore the miserable sods, how dare they 🤬

If he works nights he needs to invest in decent earplugs so he can sleep through normal daily noise.
You are entitled to use your garden as you see fit

I have to say I disagree with this advice. Don't get into a conversation about it. You don't really need to find a compromise. The op has done nothing wrong. If she enters into a debate she risks them giving her dates/days/hours they don't want her using her garden.

Did he actually say that your son was being too loud or indicate that was the issue? Was be trying to get your attention for another reason (giving him the benefit of the doubt massively here!)

@Ibytam sorry but do you speak french at all?? try it! a 2 year old is not making much noise and even if they were, they are quite entitled to do so in their own garden!

This is their problem, not yours. They are being completely unreasonable. If they can't stand the fact that a child is playing in its own yard in the middle of a spring day, then they can move. They have absolutely unrealistic expectations if they think that they can stop this from happening. They should have found a house elsewhere. Pretty nervy of them to bang on a window. It would be different if it was the middle of the night!

Let them bang. Eventually they will probably bang on your front door. Prepare your words in advance if it helps so that you can stay strong in the moment. Do not cower to their ridiculous demands. I don't care what their situation is--they are in the wrong here.

For a lot of people it isn't a choice, that isn't a luxury they have. Anyone being a dick to a two year old is probably just a bit of a grumpy asshole, but it never hurts to be mindful and check that what to you is the sound of gentle playing also sounds likewise to your neighbours.

Bless him- let him beep all he wants. Miserable blooming neighbours

Please don’t bring your children inside - it’s a nice day and children should make the most of opportunities to play outside. Your garden is an extension of your home. You’re behaving more than reasonably. I’d tell them FO.

Take him back outside and ignore them

Please don’t attempt to compromise either. You’ll end up tying yourself up in knots.

I don’t believe for a second that the dog destroyed the ball. Our problem neighbour said that too, and then they had garden renovations done and the gardeners threw back the ball. It was fine. They were just lying.

(not our ball. When my kids are big enough I’ll be putting up high, unsightly netting, so I never have to ask for the ball back).

Couldn’t agree more. Beginning a conversation suggests you’re conceding they’ve got a say in this.

What’s the point of a private garden if you’ve got to operate to a schedule that keeps your neighbours happy. They’re objecting to a child playing on a sunny day - suggests they’re not reasonable people. On the other hand, you’re already being neighbourly by sticking to social hours.

if they attempt to discuss it, I’d be civil but dismiss any negotiations.

I wouldn’t respond to anyone who thought banging the window at me was an acceptable form of communication to be honest @Ibytam 🤷🏻‍♀️ (unless of course they needed some kind of help from me and were trying to get my attention). Do not avoid your garden. If they bang the window again, just wave. Let them be adults and come and use their words if they have an issue.

I’d say 9am-7pm ish is perfectly acceptable to have kids playing outside at a reasonable volume in the garden.

We rented a house for 6months after selling our house to put us in a better chain-free position to buy and one family next to us allowed the children out in the garden from 6am every single morning, rain or shine constantly bouncing on a squeaky trampoline. It was extremely annoying - especially given we had a very young baby who was up every hour during the night 🫠

I'd be telling my neighbour that they either come and talk to you like a civilised human being or bugger off. Banging on the window is not acceptable.

And they could very likely hear your baby crying and screaming which is why their own kids were up early wanting to play outside.

Anyway none of the children concerned including your own were making a noise nuisance.

10-15 mins of beep beep etc. does sound hellish but I have misophonia and high pitched sounds are a trigger. There's no need to get agg though, not when you have the option to call over and say something friendly like 'Well hasn't he got a good set of pipes on him..'

I'd have waved cheerfully and carried on.

I'd say yanbu except how long was he shouting "beep Beep" for?

Definitely wouldn't bother interacting with them over it, no point.

I would ask myself 'is my childs noise level actually OK' because with any familiar noise, it is very easy for volume/annoyingness levels to creep up and you are deaf to it as a result - so shouting 'beep beep' might be low level easy to ignore for you... might be really overly loud and bloody irritating for someone else.

Or... it may not be, it might be perfectly reasonable little more than an 'indoor voice'.

I work nights, I don't really have a choice in that (and I work from home) there are very few jobs working from home for a disabled person, but I still recognise that the world goes on at its normal pace, and I have learned to work around that.

Your son has every right to enjoy his garden and be a child. Ignore the neighbour.