Perimenopause- how do you not kill your DH/DP because mine is getting on every last one of my nerves

[saltwater1985]

His snoring
The way he does obnoxiously loud sneezes
His slight beer belly
The way he washes up

Honestly I could just walk out at any time.
Is this permanent?!
Just started HRT for facial flushes and hoping the irritability will subside a little 😬😬

Divorce him and get cats

Although cats can be slightly annoying when you're having hot flushes 🥵

lots of wine and listening to lots of podcasts

Going out a lot alone or with friends

I fantasise about a cottage with just me and loads of cats 🐈 (he’s allergic)

My friends are all a bit rubbish and wrapped up in their own lives to have even half an hour to spare for a 🫖 although I do suggest meet-ups they only happen once every couple of months

This …. But double the wine …

I do think it gets a bit easier post menopause, but you have to ruthlessly carve out space and time for solitude/your own stuff.
I occasionally treat myself to a solo day out. Bliss! Also, long dog walks
x

HRT and then more HRT. The surges of anger I felt in perimenopause were like nothing I've ever experienced before.

I was thinking it was just me. 🤣
Mine is annoying the hell put of me. He’s not doing anything new but god he’s so irritating! Makes noise when he eats that I’ve never noticed but now it’s all I can hear. Also everything smells funny.

Having your own bedroom helps. In fact any space of your own where nobody else is allowed while you hatch plans to burn it all down to the ground.

My DH makes a noise that's a bit like faux surprise when I bring him a cup of tea "oh!"

It makes me want to sacrifice his body to the god of hell fire.

Well, murder IS wrong and prison is a real place so, in the absence of an alibi and a patio:

Menopause changes all the rules. We can find ourselves wanting the opposite to what we always assumed was right for us. We’re less inclined to keep the peace for the sake of it. I experienced a deep desire to just run away - not forever, just for a while to be alone and figure myself out. It’s very hard to just take off, of course, but finding space for yourself, whether that’s pursuing an interest, spirituality, whatever it is, we do need space in which to come to terms with ourselves in the second half of life. It gets better. I recall having the notion I was crossing a bridge and could still see - and miss - what I was leaving behind on one side but knew I would reach the stage of not missing it. Meanwhile, we don’t know exactly what will replace the person we assumed we were.

Yes the smells!
Just this evening I was like “WHY DOES IT STINK OF PISS IN HERE??!!”

I possibly shouldn’t push this, but being single is absolutely fucking blissful!

I go on lots of solo holidays.

Is this menopause? Or have you just gone off of him?

also, you need friends. We’d all get sick of anyone if we spent all the time together. If your friends can only meet every couple of months get some new ones

Strangely the children don’t irritate me in the same way, obviously they piss me off, but no more than they always have. It’s HIM.
Somehow it’s worse when he’s trying to be nice. I just feel like growling ‘fuck offff’ at him 😆😫

Gym. Swim. Gardening. Walking the dog. Separate room for the snorer. If you love me let me sleep!

I am on the lookout for new ones ☺️
For now, mn can be my girls

you clearly hate him. You need to split up. He stinks of piss and you want to tell him to fuck off.

Agree about the funny smell! And the grunting and breathing really loudly!! Just SSSHHHHH!!!!!

No, he doesn’t smell haha, never has. It was the bathroom.

And the non-meno has entered the thread!!

This happened to me in perimenopause. Everything about my long term partner started to grate on me - his breathing, foot tapping, biting his nails, slurping his cuppas. HRT helped with insomnia and anxiety but not with feelings towards my partner. It got to the point I couldn’t bear to be touched by him and in the end we split amicably I didn’t think that it was fair to him or me to stay feeling like that. We have remained good friends but I still can’t bear it when he starts biting his nails!!

Also with you on the smells I randomly smell cigarettes when there are none it drives me crazy!!