Perimenopause- how do you not kill your DH/DP because mine is getting on every last one of my nerves

[saltwater1985]

His snoring
The way he does obnoxiously loud sneezes
His slight beer belly
The way he washes up

Honestly I could just walk out at any time.
Is this permanent?!
Just started HRT for facial flushes and hoping the irritability will subside a little 😬😬

Excuse me, OP, if this is too personal but how old are you? I've been recently feeling eerly similarly to what you describe! And I was wondering how will I know I'm peri... How did you know? (I'm 37, by the way)

I’m 44 and I reckon it’s been about year, but only feeling murderous last few weeks tbh

It did last a few years I have to admit.
I fantasised about divorce constantly and wanted to run away to the coast and live on my own.
Everything he did jangled my nerves, breathing noises, eating and drinking noises, which shelf in the fridge he puts the marmalade on.
I went on hrt and whilst he still gets on my nerves 😬 I’ve stopped plotting divorce.

Yes explore HRT.

Oh goddess yes. I call it the Red Mist. But for HRT, I swear I'd be doing time now. It was quite frightening TBH.

44 and it turns out I wasn't a nice, patient, kind person like I thought I was, I was just ripped to the tits on oestrogen. May as well have been MDMA. Now it's worn off and I am experiencing moments of unbelievable rage.

Fucking hell, this is me!
also fantasising about would it would be like to be alone again ( was a single parent for years and hated it. All I wanted was to be in a couple)
now I can’t stand everything he does!
In bed with him now, and annoyed that he’s not further over in the bed.
Yes to the smells too!!! Not a clue what that’s about.

Took about 8months of hrt before the urge to kill went. But it did go.

I'm so glad it's not just me! I feel...restless, I guess. Fed up with working, fed up with whiny teens, fed up with DH. I want to pack a backpack and a bivvy tent and disappear down the nearest leafy footpath. Yet I have a privileged and comfortable life.

Can’t wait to get on the HRT.
The Rage is overwhelming!

Well don't worry because another peri delight is coming soon - not wanting to go out or see people....

HRT has made me significantly less murderous....

I was truly frightened I'd do something heinous and go to prison because of my temper. Not had one of those episodes since starting the topical gel.

Couldn’t agree with you more. Blissful.

Yes! This!
I cherish my old friends BUT do not want to do anything socially “outgoing”. DH and I had a heated debate this week about (a) his wish to have a BBQ and invite neighbour acquaintances and (b) his wish to have a party.
For me, a perfect evening is one with a book…it’s liberating to set a boundary and say “no way” to unnecessary small-talky social events

That’s a really lovely post crafty. I ei keep your bridge image in mind.

Apologies if this is not you, OP, but in some couples I think it is because they spend too much time together.

I go out a lot on my own and also go on solo trips ( as well as with DH) The menopause has made me want to go out more and see people more.

My husband is amazing. He’s great looking, understanding, sweet natured and always lovely. Funny and silly and he’s genuinely the full package

he also gets on my last fucking nerve as I get closer towards menopause. By doing absolutely nothing wrong. 🤷‍♀️

I cope by having quite a lot of time to myself. I take myself off for a few hours every evening. In my sane moments I feel quite sorry for him

I went to the GP and told the receptionist that if I didn't get an appointment re going on HRT then my Dh would probably be under the patio shortly.
They booked me in😂
EVERYTHING about him annoyed me.. him breathing, eating, existing. God forbid touching me.

HRT has helped some, but I still think (and I'm probably post menopausal by now.. late 50s) I'd be happiest in a tiny cottage a hundred miles from everyone, with just the dog! I settle for my allotment and spend lots of time there alone !

Post menopause I realise my oestrogen allowed me to tolerate people. Now it's diminished I do not !

HRT. Happy marriage here. Menopause gave me total rage. HRT saved the day

Wow, I'm recognising so much in these posts.
I went to yoga last week to try and get a bit zen, 10 women in the room quietly getting on with it and 1 man - who had to make sure everyone heard his every single massively perfomatively loud inhale/exhale.
I spent the whole hour trying to stifle the seething rage. Now I need more yoga to recover from the yoga

The noise from eating

did he always make such a moist eating noise?

Yes, he did but you didnt notice because you were awash with oestrogen!😁

I just stare at him when he’s eating like
“seriously?”

there he is obliviously chowing down all noisily

as a side note, I really should get back onto the doctor about hrt, I’ve only been trying for 6 years now

Yep, I really wanted to kill DH nearly every day for years. Unfortunately I couldn't take HRT so it was either kill or divorce. Sorry everyone, he's now roaming around looking for someone else to annoy.

I'm well and truly post-menopause and mellowing somewhat but swear my DH must have a hollow head for the noise of eating to reverberate as it inevitably does