So how do I live in the female gender?

[Definitelynamechanged123]

There are 8834 people in the UK who have a Gender Recognition Certificate.
I am one of them.

To get it, I had to show evidence of transition, surgery etc. Lots of hoops

I also had to swear a Statutory Declaration. I had to go to a Magistrates Court and swear a legal declaration in front of a magistrate. It was all very formal.

I had to swear this:

" have lived as a (insert ‘male’ or ‘female’ as appropriate)
throughout the period of years before the date of this statutory
declaration and I intend to live in that gender until death."

This declaration is legally binding. Apparently if I don't follow this, I can be done for perjury.

So...how do I live as a female and live in that gender until death - I have sworn to do this in front of a magistrate.

I was very surprised that so few trans people have Gender Recognition Certificates.

Bloody hell @Nextdoor55 that's a bit strong.

Depending on where you live in the UK, it's often necessary to be on your guard all of the time. I'd assume you don't live in a big city, use public transport, have no experience of up-skirting, or any of the crap that happens day after day. Have you seen the stats for assaults against women on the London tubes?

Unfortunately this demonstrates the ridiculousness of the situation. If a biological woman who is not a transman goes into a male toilet - that doesn’t make her a man. Being a woman shouldn’t be defined by which toilet you use.

Enjoy your body, enjoy being feminine and all the things that you associate with this. No one wants to take that away from you.

Gender is a social construct and none is going to stop you living like your construct of what defines being a woman. Most of us will still want and expect you to be treated with respect.

The only unifying thing about being a woman is having a uterus and XX chromosomes. The disorders related to sex are rare. Unfortunately a GRC will not make you a biological woman - even with surgery.
I am sorry if that causes you pain and I am surprised you have come to mumsnet for reassurance.

Brilliant.

I don’t believe we should be actively making people uncomfortable either, male or female.

Which was what the PP suggested.

Assuming you’re TW.

Be treated like shit.
Be spoken to like shit.
Be expected to clean other people’s shit and generally be a fucking serf.
Earn lower wages just because of what’s between your legs.
Be prepared to have your healthcare rights sacrificed on the alter of religious nut jobs.
Be refused jobs because “you might fuck off to have a child”.
Be passed up for promotion repeatedly because “you might fuck off to have a child”.
Be prepared to be told “you’re wrong” and no explanation given.
Be prepared for an entire boardroom to fall asleep during your presentation, talk to the man that’s with you or just straight fucking laugh. They do.
Be prepared for every single bit of your appearance to be ripped apart.
Be afraid walking home at night.
Be told you can’t age, you must not age but you also shouldn’t have Botox.
Be told you’re fat when you’re a size 10.
You can’t drink too much, you’ll be a loose cannon. It’s not right.
Be told you’re not thin enough and that you also need to eat more.
Be told you’ll regret x when you’re older.
Dont expect too much of men, you’re there to serve them but also Girl Power.
Dont wear skirts that are too short, you’ll leave yourself open to assault.
Dont dress like that, it’s too frumpy.
Dont dress like that, its too suggestive.
Dont say what you’re thinking, men don’t like that.

Go listen and re-listen to America Ferrera’s monologue from the Barbie movie. I’m not joking.

I don't have that list, but you'd be correct. The number of attacks by non-trans-identifying men would be way longer - but that's because there's vastly more of them.

IIRC trans individuals make up less than 1% of the population? And I assume that includes trans men, ie/biological females.

So it's a very tiny number of individuals and yet there's a very long list of sexual attacks. Bear in mind, this isn't even all types of attacks, nor an exhaustive list. Proportionally, it's enormous.

But your point is excellent - men are dangerous. And that's why we keep them out of single sex spaces where we are vulnerable. As the previous list shows, the danger is still present when men identify as women. They are still a threat to us.

Incidentally, I do have stats which show the number of sexual offenders in the prison trans population compared to both female and male populations. I'll add it here. Interestingly, it shows there's a much higher number of sexual predators in the trans community - even compared to the general male population.

Obviously, there are many lovely trans people who wouldn't hurt a fly. The point is that we can't tell which ones are dangerous. Just like the general male population as you correctly pointed out. All of this just adds to the reasons why we need single sex spaces that are correctly defined by biological sex. For the OP, that sucks, and I'm sorry, but that still doesn't mean that women should be exposed to a greater risk of attacks. And as the stats show, there is VERY clearly a risk.

I'm not buying any of this. OP has continually described themself as a Transwoman rather than a Trans Woman. Big mistake... huge!

The way women claim to be scared and terrorised?

You think we're making it up?

Well you are in the minority. I certainly have changed my route home when I’ve been worried. I certainly haven’t just accepted my fate that I’m a walking target. I always walk with my keys in my hand just in case I need to use them to defend myself. I have sat deliberately with other women at train stations so I am not alone. I told my children if they are ever in trouble look for a women first rather than a man. Pretty much every women I know does at least some of these things.

99.999% of males are harmless. But I only have to be the victim of 1.

@Flowergirlie91

You understand that women need ‘safe’ spaces? Interesting choice of word there. Who would we need to be ‘safe’ from? Because, according to your earlier post, an attack by a trans woman simply wouldn’t happen, and you don’t believe that a man who looks like a man would wander into the ladies unless it was in error? Could it be that we need to be safe from men like Adrienne Cohea? Adrienne likes to take his sword into women’s toilets to frighten females. Have a look on his social media if you don’t believe me, because he was quite proud of himself. I don’t want to misquote him, but I believe he described it as ‘achievement unlocked’.

Of course a man is not going to undergo plastic surgery to disguise themselves as a female just to enter into a woman’s space so they can assault them. With respect, it’s going to very difficult to have a sensible conversation with you if you’re just going to be silly. But they don’t need plastic surgery. Take Connie Shaw for example, who walked into a woman’s toilet in a nightclub and refused to leave, saying he was a woman. By all accounts, Connie didn’t actually need to use the loo though. I wonder why Connie wanted to be in there? Can you think of any reasons? Could it be that moustachioed Connie was not being completely truthful when he claimed he was a woman? https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2024/09/26/moustached-man-refuses-leave-female-toilet-identifies-woman/

Also, meet Hannah Mouncey. Obviously not 13 anymore, but I think you can see that the risk to women hasn’t decreased as he has gotten older.

“The way women claim”. Really?

here’s the thing. You don’t get to take from one marginalised group and hand to another. Women and those with mental disorders are separate groups. It’s time to meet the needs of both. Telling men they can be women is not doing that.

That's a good point.

Yep.

Someone who is genuinely a trans woman with a GRC should surely know it's trans woman?

You’re just encouraging the man haters on here!

No one chooses their sexuality
We are born with it.

Theres a big difference between sex and gender. Muddying the waters has caused all the problems with the invasion of woman's rights and spaces.

Not my understanding. If something is now declared a single sex space it means biological sex. If an organisation wants to admit trans people (as they are absolutely allowed to) then they cannot refer to whatever the space is as single sex. They will have to refer to it as mixed gender.

We women cannot be held responsible for male violence, including that committed by trans women, as they are still men. We women have historically been a targeted group. Have you looked at the statistics on how many women are murdered in the UK each week? Shouldn’t you be more concerned about that? If you had a daughter, would you advise her that she should let her guard down around all trans women? Even at night?

I think if you're in a situation where you're concerned it might not be safe for you to use the toilet facilities, the best course of action would be to ask staff members working or responsible for where you are. They may have an alternative solution (eg a single occupancy facility elsewhere, or the ability to deal with whatever is making you feel unsafe in the facilities which should be available for you).

“This time 81 out of the 163 transgender prisoners in England and Wales had at least one conviction for a sexual offence…”

Let’s assume there are more than 81 convicted sex offending males who aren’t transgender in the prison population.

How many of those men are ginger? If it’s 79, do we avoid the ginger men specifically moving forward?

Okay. Being transgender is an identifying factor for 81 convicted sex offenders. But unless we’re going to start breaking it into other identifying features, I’m not really sure I see the point in even having the data.

Pretty sure its more than 0.001% doing all the harm!

Be hyper vigilant when you are out in a quiet place, a dodgy part of town or after dark. Not safe for a woman.

Find a way to give yourself debilitating stomach cramps for three days every month, but carry on regardless.

Expect to be talked down to and patronised by tradesmen, car dealers and the like.

Be happy with lower wages or salary.

On the plus side become brilliant at the game of patriarchy chicken.

I have no idea what it means to live in the female gender any more than I know what it means to live in the male gender. I wonder, do you mean you that you feel unable to live as a man given societal expectation of what a man is/should be? You mention body dysmorphia. This is a mental health condition, one that is rarely, if ever, cured by surgery and transition. Have read quite a few papers about how in true dysmorphics, surgery will only ever exacerbate things.

What I do know is that a GRC does not (in your, or anyone's case if they are a biological man with XY chromosomes), a woman make. While you are in possession of a Y chromosome, and have a body designed to produce small gametes, you are a man. It doesn't matter what surgery, hormones, or a piece of paper says. A man, or a woman for that matter, cannot change sex. Your GRC is meaningless and the Supreme court clarified sex in legislation to mean biological feelings. Law is based on fact, not feelings. I can only apologise for this and hope you are able to find peace.

…but if it can’t be defined then it doesn’t matter?

Live your life as you want 🤷🏻‍♀️

I do.

No-one is going to prosecute you for perjury and thinking even for a moment that they might is extreme paranoia. Remember, Freddy Seahorse chap has a GRC (as far as I know) and they got pregnant and had a child. As a man. No prosecution. So…

I am sorry that you feel victimised or whatever, but you still have the same rights that you did prior to the judgement.

There are more women than there are people with GRCs so the majority have benefitted as opposed to a very small but unfortunate minority. Everyone can’t have what they want so this is the compromise.

You must be joking! You wouldn't have gone through all that nonsense without working out how to con people you know what 'living as a woman' means! Just carry on doing it. Just stay out of anything designated for women only and you'll be fine.