Be honest, how do you feel when somebody tells you they’re going on holiday on their own?

[Zippityjumpingbean]

So, I suppose this is vaguely inspired by the thread about the lady volunteering at a festival in her van, also inspired by the fact that I have just booked my first Solo holiday in 14 years (since before DC were born) I’m ridiculously excited about it and I love holidaying alone but the first person I told about about it I got the sympathetic head tilt and “I’m sure you’ll still have fun though”

So , be honest, if you hear about somebody holidaying alone how does it make you feel?
Do you honestly feel a bit sad/sorry for them even if you don’t voice it?

Blimey OP. I am quite surprised by your question.

I have gone on loads of holidays alone. day trips, weekends away, weeks away long distance. And my teenage daughter has just spent 6 months travelling Europe by herself.

Never once did it cross my mind to think (or care) what other people thought. It's an idea so alien to me I can't get my head round it.

Do you wonder what people think when you get off at a bus stop? Or order at sandwich at a cafe.

Very strange question. (In my humble opinion)

I’m jealous, that’s on my bucket list.
have a great time!!

Jealous! If they seemed sad about it themselves I’d think that was a shame but honestly I would love to be able to find and justify the time and money to do it myself!

Ah I apologise from the bottom of my heart for starting a thread that wasn’t to your liking, I promise to do better with the next one

Strange reply OP! Didn't say it wasn't to my liking! Just I was surprised!

But hope you have an amazing time on your trip.

I feel happy for them! It is obviously what they want. Head tilters are the worst fun-suckers out there

I'm generally a bit envious and very impressed! I love holidays with my DP, and those with friends, but I would quite like to spend some time in a beautiful/interesting place to do exactly what I wanted to do, no compromises or discussion.

I holiday at least once a year solo.Absolutely love it.

I feel super excited for them! I'm off on my first solo holiday in a couple of weeks, 3 nights in Majorca, I could burst with excitement!
I've had mixed reactions, older people tend to look concerned, say I need to go with someone...err no I don't!
Younger people think it's fab, I've inspired my sister to look for one.
I personally find the people who don't think its amazing quite odd, I would hate to think I can't do things by myself, I would never rely on anyone to travel the world, I'm perfectly able to do it alone!
Husband and son is being left to fend for themselves for once! X

I think 'good for them' and feel jealous as I used to love my solo holidays and the sense of total freedom.

That said... when I used to go alone other people did act like it was a bit pathetic and like there must be something wrong with me. Occasionally I sensed a bit of this from staff at places I stayed, taxi drivers etc.

People say it doesn't matter, just do what you want etc and I totally agree with that in principle but I think it's ok to acknowledge that actual emotions might be more complex. We all worry about other people's judgements to some extent I think, even if we're 'past that' to differing degrees.

I'd also say that solo holidaying is like any new experience - it might not come easily at first and you sort of have to build up your comfort with it and ways of approaching it. I have a young DC now and have noticed I feel quite exposed and flustered when I'm out in public without her (unless I'm at work) - it's as though I've lost the 'facing the world on my own terms' muscle and need to build it back up! I remember dealing with some awkward things as a solo traveller, which I tried to deal with in the following ways:

• feeling like it was all a bit pointless with no one to share it with - dealt with this by taking lots of photos and writing in a diary each night, also mindfulness exercises to help me focus on the here and now;
• drifting about without purpose as no one else would suffer if I didn't stick to my plans - dealt with this by planning quite structured things like seeing landmarks as part of a circular walk so that I had to keep going; ambitious itineraries of sightseeing; booking onto walking tours where feasible (I then had to go the other way as found I was turning my holidays into military operations without much room for spontaneity!);
• feeling a bit lonely, especially when eating out - dealt with by arranging natters with friends some nights, bringing a book to restaurants; doing more stuff like fish n chips overlooking sunset rather than sitting indoors to eat.
• conversely: getting stuck with people who latched on to me when they realised I was a solo traveller - either in a creepy way or just trying to share my company because they were bored or lonely themselves; asking lots of questions etc - dealt with my putting up my 'armour' by walking confidently and quickly or always having my book to hand; telling people firmly that I'm enjoying my own company.

Good on you for booking the holiday. I hope you have a great time and will emphasise again how fabulous I think solo travel is.

Jealous. I’m planning on doing a city break on my own in a few months. Dd will be away with friends and dh can’t get time off work.

Envious of their confidence.

I'd view it subjectively really. If the person concerned was a widow (as I am) then I would probably assume they'd rather be going with their late DH. If the person was married but taking a solo break in addition to a family/couples holiday, I'd think they were getting the best of both worlds. If the person was young and unattached I'd assume they're just having the time of their life.

I've been on holiday on my own, and would happily do so again.

Good on you, and have a great time.

That they are independent and capable. Not on holiday per se, but I often fly solo to our home in Southern France, via Barcelona and am used to people saying "don't you mind travelling on your own?" No I don't.

I feel inspired, and also envious! Would love nothing more than alone time on holiday to do as I please! I wouldn't be sympathetic unless the person had somehow ended up alone unintentionally.

That's a bit different to holidaying on your own though.

I go alone everywhere...by choice! The freedom is blissful.

I went by myself last year, it was epic. Fuck everyone else and what they think. Just do it.

I go on holiday by myself so I don't 'think' anything to be honest.

I think, "good for them!" I have done it many times. Not as much recently - I enjoy taking one of my kids with me and I went to Marrakesh with a mate last year. But even in more recent years I've gone to festivals by myself.

Honestly I quite like traveling alone. You can do what you want when you want.

Envious.

I could do it, but would feel very selfish (leaving DH and the kids).

Envious! Sounds blissful

"Fantastic! Where are you off to?" would be my instant delighted response. Sometimes followed with "holy shit that's a risky destination for a solo woman traveller" but I won't say that directly, instead make sure while chatting that they already know that and have appropriate plans/contingency.

Holidaying solo can be brilliant, but it can also stop you doing stuff you'd like to do just for not having backup. Even stupid simple things like popping to the loo at a cafe can be annoying; I tend to do lots of chatting to the staff so I can later ask them to watch my stuff. Being friendly with staff and locals is the best technique in my experience.

I don't think anything.....I can't take holidays right now because reasons so if they were going somwhere I'd like to go, I'd maybe feel a tiny bit jealous but I live alone....if I didn't do stuff alone, I'd never do anything!