Be honest, how do you feel when somebody tells you they’re going on holiday on their own?

[Zippityjumpingbean]

So, I suppose this is vaguely inspired by the thread about the lady volunteering at a festival in her van, also inspired by the fact that I have just booked my first Solo holiday in 14 years (since before DC were born) I’m ridiculously excited about it and I love holidaying alone but the first person I told about about it I got the sympathetic head tilt and “I’m sure you’ll still have fun though”

So , be honest, if you hear about somebody holidaying alone how does it make you feel?
Do you honestly feel a bit sad/sorry for them even if you don’t voice it?

Jealous!

It's hard, but really try not to care what people think. I went to an all women's retreat i by myself in the Summer after my Husband left me. It was in France and I had to get myself there and did it by train. It was expensive but I had never holidayed myself before and was in a emotionally abusive relationship with my ex. I am engaged now but I look back at that time really fondly and i had a blast. Still have good friends from it. So if I hear of anyone else doing it I always think, good on them! And slightly envious as holiday time is now family time exclusively due to cost and amount of holiday days. Love family holidays obviously but going on my own was such an amazing experience.

To be honest, I think 'Good for them'! I've never holidayed alone, but I'm the type of person who could, easily.

I quite often do daytime trips on my own, to a city, coastal areas etc, and I also love a solo long bus or train journey too! I love holidays & days out with dh, family & friends, but it's lovely to take time for me, and do things at my own pace.

I've had trips away and although enjoyed the company, there's been times when I'd have preferred a stop-off between activities/more time to enjoy a tour, rather than rushing to the next thing/or fancied a different show or restaurant than the people I'm with, so it's lovely to take a day or weekend to suit yourself occasionally!

Enjoy!! xx

I love holidaying on my own. Last year, one holiday I went with my best friend. It is a wonder we are still best friends.

A bit sad for them but only because I know if I did that myself I would feel sad. Despite being a total introvert I would feel lonely at night without my husband or children.

I went on my own to loosely supervise a group of teens but was basically on my own sat - wed in a small beautiful beachside town the south of France. Was fucking awesome actually. Was slightly shocked to realise I actually enjoyed that trip more than my girls trip with a gang of girlfriends. Prefer being with Dh and dds but being on my own was great.

I would be 100% jealous. I absolutely love going on holiday with partner and kids, I am totally soaking this time up. BUT I am also planning to do a week alone to Skopelos when the kids are adults. I enjoy holidaying with people but it's a total dream to have a whole week on holiday alone.

At one time I might have felt sorry for them but now I can see the benefits, though I rarely get a chance to spend time away from home alone. When I have done I feel it becomes a different experience from having a companion. I feel more alive to my surroundings and find myself making conversation with strangers which I love (but don't often do generally).

I think people’s opinions or judgments can be tied to their age/life stage too. Many moons ago me and my boyfriend, both very young at the time, was in Spain in a lovely little restaurant, it was quaint and beautiful and I saw a lady, must of been in her late 40s eating dinner alone and I felt sorry for her and asked my boyfriend if we should ask her if she would like to join us! I cringe at that now and glad he said no, but at the time I thought she must be lonely.

Now I’m later on in life and have children, I still think about that lady and can now see my thoughts or judgment of her situation is completely wrong, she was actually probably have a whale of a time, eating alone in peace, in a lovely little restaurant in Spain, I think of it now and think how lovely her evening must of been, I bet she enjoyed every minute and would happily go do it myself. I think it’s a person understanding growing as they grow.

If you go on holiday solo I would be thinking you’re going to have a fantastic time and I can’t wait until it’s me!

I would be envious. They can decide all the time what they will do, when and where they will go for meals.Sounds like heaven.

my "right" person is dead. Should I stay home?

Envious, if you have the confidence. As long as the person is genuinely happy, I have a friend who went alone because she had split with her partner and she didn’t actually want to go on her own but had nobody to go with at that particular time.

Anyone else remember Jeanette and Dougie in Shirley Valentine? They can't fathom that Shirley is having a lovely time on her own and invite her to join them, and the pressure of the other people in the restaurant makes her feel she has to.

Total envy and never pity! I think its great.

I would feel a bit sorry for the person, yes.

A little bit jealous. I’d love a holiday alone, but don’t think DH would be up for it. Which is fine as I would be outraged at him holidaying alone too (because of jealousy and FOMO, not because either of us is controlling, and also because our annual leave is limited and we’d rather spend it together!).

I'm curious if your opinion has changed at all seeing all these pages of responses from fabulous women with people they can go on holiday with but choose themselves to spend time with?

I think saying they have no friends and are probably antisocial is a bit short sighted, I've got lots of people wanting to go on holiday with me but I want some peace and quiet, I want to wander aimlessly down the sunny streets and I want to read endless books in pure peace, can you not see why that would be appealing...and not really antisocial?

@PrettayGood and if they were having a fab time would you feel sorry for them

I would. But that’s just me projecting. I’d feel sorry they weren’t doing it with a partner or a friend.

I think it’s great and ask about their trip but then I’m also a solo traveller (in my late 60’s) and I really enjoy myself on my travels.

I also go to the theatre, the opera, the cinema, museums, art galleries etc alone as well as going out for very nice meals on my own.

I have a big family and lots of grandchildren I'm very hands on with daily. I have good friends that have been in my life for many decades. I consider myself well loved, cherished actually, but whilst I do go away with family throughout the year I also go away on my own throughout the year, as well doing plenty of other things alone also.

I feel compelled to share

My best friend goes on holiday alone and loves it. She actually prefers it. It is a bit of a change because like me she has the "widowed mother taking up huge amounts of mental energy" problem, although hers doesn't require practical help yet.

But since she ended up in that spot, she has turned down offers of holidays with friends. We might do something next year possibly, but my last few years of life have been so complicated. I haven't wanted to go away anywhere that she'd go.

It's actually quite strange to read that people feel sorry for solo travellers who may be getting a much needed break from all sorts of things.

@Zippityjumpingbean interesting that your friend feels that way. When I lived in London, it was very normal to go to all sorts of things alone and lots of people did it.

Where I live now, it's not normal at all. It's a much, much nicer area but after three experiences on my own at two concerts and one play, I'm not keen to repeat it. This is a shame because the local am dram and jazz band are good.

If anything forces me back to London, it would be that. It's really sad because I much prefer it round here.

Jealous. I stay in hotels for work on my own and I often fantasize about how much better it would be if it was a holiday.

I'd love to just do exactly what I wanted for a few days, explore on my own. Eat when I like, not share a bathroom. Oh it sounds heavenly.

I blink and then I carry on with my life...

I think it depends how you present it. If you present it as an exciting trip that you are happy to be taking then they will respond in kind but if you say I am going alone because I am single and all my friends are in couples then they will be sympathetic. It depends how you see it really.

Couldn’t care less how anyone enjoys a holiday