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Original poster

Do I send my DC to bed too early?

100 replies

Rockmehardplace · 05/04/2025 22:40

DS is 8. I start bedtime at 8, and he's in bed between 8.20-8.30, asleep for 8.45-9pm. he's hyper till the minute he goes to bed
Talking to friends & other parents, their 8 year olds seem to go to bed a lot later (9.30ish). Am I being mean putting him to bed at 8? He's a ridiculously early riser but always has been. He's autistic & doesn't seem to need a lot of sleep. He doesn't need to go to sleep when I put him up to bed, he can read books, listen to his Toni box or yoto.
I think the reason I feel bad is that I can't wait to get him to bed to get some time to myself, which seems harsh!

OP posts:
Scutterbug · 05/04/2025 22:41

No it sounds fine to me!

AmIAloneInThinking · 05/04/2025 22:44

Mine are 8 and 10….bedtime starts at 7 and lights out by 8. The only day that’s different is on Cub/Scout evenings or school holidays when basically anything goes

MissRoseDurward · 05/04/2025 22:47

Seems OK to me. He's not lying awake for hours, and it's good to have some quiet time at the end of the day - him and you both!

NHS recommends 9-12 hours sleep for 6-12 yos. 9.30 bedtime might be too late if they have to get up very early.

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8 year olds Families
pearbottomjeans · 05/04/2025 22:48

Wow no! My 9 year old is in bed for 7:30, maybe reads for an hour max before falling asleep. Up around 6.

Reugny · 05/04/2025 22:49

If he gets up when he needs to in the morning m which is not to early or too late then the time he goes to bed is fine.

Every child like every adult is different.

LyndaSnellsSniff · 05/04/2025 22:52

I think ours were going to bed at 7.30 then. We managed to get away with an early bedtime for years before they started asking to push it back. 😊

DrCoconut · 05/04/2025 23:02

I’m genuinely curious how people get their kids to go to sleep really early. None of mine would have slept at 7 or 8 even as toddlers. They just weren’t tired. I’ve seen other people’s kids troop off to bed early and it’s like some kind of witchcraft! DS1 ended up on melatonin which didn’t really do much. The plus side is I’ve never been up at 5 or 6 with them as that would have finished me. Different things suit different people I guess.

ohnowwhatcanitbe · 05/04/2025 23:22

If it works for you and for him, what's not to like?

Original poster
Rockmehardplace · 05/04/2025 23:41

Phew, glad to hear it seems ok! Think I just had a week or so of speaking to people who have kids up much later & it really made me question myself!
He's generally awake about 6.30, with the very odd 7.30 wake up, and at least one week a month where he gets up at 4am without fail (I move bedtime to about 7.45 when he's on a phase of getting up at 4!)

OP posts:
50andfabulous · 05/04/2025 23:53

I agree with PP, if it's working for you both, then you're doing something right. Well done Mama. My son is 11 and he goes to bed at 9.30pm and later on the weekend.

VikingLady · 06/04/2025 00:14

My 9yo goes at 6.45 still, though it takes until 7.15 before he’s actually in bed, and is allowed to get up after 5am. My 13yo goes up at 8.30, in bed by 9. But both listen to audiobooks in bed, and the 13yo has a reading light and can read and draw if she doesn’t disturb anyone else.

it works for us. If your times work for you then they’re fine.

Needspaceforlego · 06/04/2025 06:21

@VikingLady why are your kids getting up so early?

I can't imagine trying to get my kids to bed at 6.45. Half the time we are eating or just finished dinner at 6.45
Finish work 5.00 collect from afterschool 5.30 home 5.45, sort dinner. Easily 6.30 before we are eating.

I do think it's different routines suit different people. But I wouldn't want my kids to be up ridiculously early in the morning.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 06/04/2025 06:31

DrCoconut · 05/04/2025 23:02

I’m genuinely curious how people get their kids to go to sleep really early. None of mine would have slept at 7 or 8 even as toddlers. They just weren’t tired. I’ve seen other people’s kids troop off to bed early and it’s like some kind of witchcraft! DS1 ended up on melatonin which didn’t really do much. The plus side is I’ve never been up at 5 or 6 with them as that would have finished me. Different things suit different people I guess.

I can't speak for others but I introduced a bed time routine at around 3 weeks ( days before you were supposed to always be in the same room). Bedtime was always between 7:30 and 8:30 until age 12 or 13. DS was always up with the lark around 6:30, Dd will sleep for England and frequently needed waking at 7:45 for primary school. As PP said they are all different. But the key to an early bedtime is consistency and routine.

expat321 · 06/04/2025 06:35

I have a 7yr old and bedtime is 8pm, max 8.30pm. They need to be up at 7am the following day for school.

shellyleppard · 06/04/2025 06:38

On a school night I used to send them up at 7.30pm, lights out by 8.30-9pm . Weekends and holidays they could stay up later. Yes I also needed a bit of me time 😂😂

Lioncubhearted · 06/04/2025 06:40

DC13's bed time is 830 (when home) lights out 915. DC15 is 845 (when home) lights out when he wants. (Usually around 915-930). Days when the have clubs later they go bed and lights out immediately, latest 930. Alarms set for 6am.

Sounds fine to me!

Criteria16 · 06/04/2025 06:43

My DS is a bit younger and goes to bed at around 7,30-8, often asleep between 8,30-9. However, he wakes up at around 7,30, even much later on weekends.

Madeinsuffolk · 06/04/2025 07:00

My 10 year old in bed 745 school night and 830 weekends

faerietales · 06/04/2025 07:06

VikingLady · 06/04/2025 00:14

My 9yo goes at 6.45 still, though it takes until 7.15 before he’s actually in bed, and is allowed to get up after 5am. My 13yo goes up at 8.30, in bed by 9. But both listen to audiobooks in bed, and the 13yo has a reading light and can read and draw if she doesn’t disturb anyone else.

it works for us. If your times work for you then they’re fine.

Your 9yo goes to bed at 6.45pm? Confused

Mikart · 06/04/2025 07:10

Mine were in bed by 7.30 at that age. Probably awake about 6 which was fine by me. I relished an evening of peace....I went to bed before 10.

Springisroundthecorner88484848 · 06/04/2025 07:11

faerietales · 06/04/2025 07:06

Your 9yo goes to bed at 6.45pm? Confused

Show quote history

My 10 year old keeps telling me one of his friends goes to bed at 7pm, I didn’t believe him but maybe it’s actually true!!
Mine is in Year 5, 9pm on school nights or football game in the morning weekends. He’s asleep normally for 9.15pm.
He’d sleep for as long as we let him In the Am. Some mornings he has breakfast club so up at 6.30 the rest we wake him up just after 7 as he wants enough time in the Am to not feel rushed.
my 5 year old , hers is 8pm, which is later than her peers. However when they are back from after school club / clubs at about 6pm she wants some time to unwind and play without going straight to bed.

Lookingforwardto2025 · 06/04/2025 07:12

DS is 9 and bedtime is 8 but he can listen to an audio book until 9. I hear a lot of parents complaining about their kids refusing to go to bed until later but I am glad we have a routine.

SJM1988 · 06/04/2025 07:12

DS 7.5 years has always gone to bed at 730pm (lights off asleep time) Weekends now he is older he goes at 830pm. Generally awake 630am as we need to get up to leave by 730am. Weekends he is still a 630 maybe 7am if im lucky riser.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 06/04/2025 07:14

Year 3 age 7- lights off at 8pm- I can’t see that changing soon as always out like a light. Up by 7am which is fine by me as less chaotic mornings

Rainydaysandwellybobs · 06/04/2025 07:17

Needspaceforlego · 06/04/2025 06:21

@VikingLady why are your kids getting up so early?

I can't imagine trying to get my kids to bed at 6.45. Half the time we are eating or just finished dinner at 6.45
Finish work 5.00 collect from afterschool 5.30 home 5.45, sort dinner. Easily 6.30 before we are eating.

I do think it's different routines suit different people. But I wouldn't want my kids to be up ridiculously early in the morning.

My kids have to be up at 5.45am as they go to a school out of the County. (Well my 18 Yr old did, he now gets up at 6am for work!)
I think too many of us read the 'guidelines' and see that kids are supposed to have 12 hours sleep and panic if they only get 11 hours and 59 minutes.......
My kids have never had 12 hours of sleep (except maybe when they were really tiny) purely because it is half a day spent asleep and nobody has time for that!
'Finish work 5.00 collect from afterschool 5.30 home 5.45, sort dinner. Easily 6.30 before we are eating' - we were/are exactly the same, throw in their extra curricular activities and swimming lessons a few nights a week and 12 hours sleep goes right out of the window. Neither of my two are spontaneously falling asleep at the dinner table so I assume they are perfectly fine with the sleep they get.