Do I send my DC to bed too early?

[Rockmehardplace]

DS is 8. I start bedtime at 8, and he's in bed between 8.20-8.30, asleep for 8.45-9pm. he's hyper till the minute he goes to bed
Talking to friends & other parents, their 8 year olds seem to go to bed a lot later (9.30ish). Am I being mean putting him to bed at 8? He's a ridiculously early riser but always has been. He's autistic & doesn't seem to need a lot of sleep. He doesn't need to go to sleep when I put him up to bed, he can read books, listen to his Toni box or yoto.
I think the reason I feel bad is that I can't wait to get him to bed to get some time to myself, which seems harsh!

My 11yo goes up around 7, has bath/shower and then reads or potters in room until around 8ish. She’s up by 6 every day without fail no matter what time she goes to bed. However without a good chunk of sleep she’s hellish to be around (takes after her mother!).

I think even as adults people have very different sleep needs. Im often in bed by 9.30pm but DH functions on much less sleep and often isn’t in bed before 12

I think it’s little early. I take my 5 year old up at 8-8.30pm and he’s rarely tired then. He falls asleep by 9-9.30pm. Is awake by 6.30am. So around 9hrs sleep. It’s very rare he sleeps longer than that.

The 6.45pm lady with 9 year old! Do you not find that restrictive? I mean we usually eat dinner around 6pm so are just finished eating and clearing up form meal at 7pm.
My Ds football class is 5.15-6.15pm, it’s full of 4/5/6+ year olds, it’s almost 6.45pm when we get home and then have to eat, relax etc. Most activities for 9 year olds weekdays must be when your sons already in bed?
Is that 6.45pm in summer also?

My DD is 14 (DS2 11, nearly 12) and their bedtime is only about 30 minutes later than when they were toddlers.

We never could manage to get them upstairs before about 8, as that's how long cooking and bathtime took after work. Now they are in bed and lights out about 9.30.

That would be late here. My 9yo goes up to get ready at 6.30, and is in bed reading from 7pm, falling asleep before 8pm. Sleeps a good 11 hrs.

In response to a pp, yes he has a club which is later once a week - so he stays up later that day, it’s no big deal!

Mine went up to bed at 8pm at that age

I can’t believe all these 9yo’s going to bed by 7pm - don’t they play out in the summer or go to activities or anything?

Sounds totally fine to me. We moved DD1's bedtime from 7pm to 8pm when she turned 8. DD2 is 5 and still goes up at 7pm so at 7pm both go upstairs, brush their teeth, put on PJs etc but DD1 is then allowed to come back downstairs until 8pm to do something quiet.... normally reading, drawing or building Lego.

I think a lot depends on the specific child’s sleep needs. My DD1 is 6 but she’s never needed the fabled 12 hours. She goes to bed about 8/8.30 and gets up between 6-7, and that’s always fine for her. Plus she has activities a few evenings a week.

If it ain't broke don't fix it! If it works for you both, who cares what anyone else does?

Surely there isn't a right or wrong here, if it works for your child and family then it works. My DD is 9 and she goes up about 8pm to read, draw in her room and one of us goes up for cuddles around 8.45 so from about 9pm it's lights out and audiobook on. For some friends that would be too late and for others too early. Do what works for your children and don't worry about what others are doing.

Our 7 almost 8 year old goes up for a bath by 7pm, in bed by 7:30pm, asleep by 8:30pm. We feel this gives the optimum 11 hours before school. We flex on school hols, but I prefer some adult time each evening.

My 9 year old has a 9pm bedtime, sounds pretty normal to me. Getting ready for bed starts about 8.15 with a shower and then he still likes me to read to him, then he listens to audiobooks and usually drops off pretty quickly. Up at 6.30 most days.

My 10 year old is 2030 and my 13 year old is 2130.
They get up early. Kids need sleep. It’s when their brains process their day’s‘ experiences and learning. It’s vital for their emotional and mental health.

9yo goes upstairs to get ready for bed usually around 7pm, reading from about 7.30 and lights out at 8pm. It does have to go a bit later on evenings with activities as we don’t get into the house until 7pm! She wakes up between 6.45 and 7.15 usually so is probably getting around 10-11 hours sleep a night which seems about right.

I find it’s about working out a balance. If we have more than 2 or 3 evenings with activities a week then she’s noticeably tired and ratty as hasn’t had quite enough sleep. Behaviour is a lot better with the right amount of sleep! Some of her friends do have a lot less sleep but TBH they look exhausted.

Another that was always 8, sounds like a fine routine op

He prefers quiet time before people are up and about. Time with no demands and silence. I don’t get up with him! He has his breakfast accessible plus his Lego etc.

We are lucky that school hours aren’t a thing and DH has very odd and random work hours, so we don’t need to work to a strict timetable for meals. We tend to eat early anyway.

6.45 for a 9 year old is insane.

My 7 and 10 year old go to bed around 8.30. My 10 year old is normally out like a light by 9, but the 7 year old spends another hour faffing around in her bed, reading, drawing, playing with her dolls until she falls asleep at 9.30. She just cannot seem to fall asleep before this!

For comparison, my 13 yo has a bedtime of 9:30 on a school night. Sometimes she’s so tired she crashes even before that. Sometimes she isn’t so she faffs about for a while listening to music or whatever, but official bedtime is 9:30.

At your child’s age, bedtime/quiet time routine started at 7 , and bedtime 8/8:30 .

It’s when he goes upstairs (not even in bed) not when he goes to sleep.

Usual routine with my almost 9 yr old DC is: washed and reading by 7pm, in bed by 7.30 for chat/singing/cuddles and usually asleep by 8 or so. Gets up 7am. This is a school day though. Weekends and holidays are more relaxed, and they will often lie in in the mornings and stay up later in the evenings, which is fine.

My 8yr old is usually asleep by 8pm.

My 11yr old often doesn’t get home until 6.30pm most week nights, sometimes 8.30pm. Can’t imagine her being in bed at 7pm like some of the other PPs. Typically it’s asleep at 9.30/10pm

My 14yr old is also around 10pm on school nights.

They get up at 6.30-7am for school.

Bedtime for my 9yo is 7.30-8. She reads as long as she wants. Usually asleep 8.30ish, sometimes later.

My DGC (13) goes to bed at 7! My DGC (8) goes to bed at 8. It depends on the child!
Like you, the DM of the 13 yr old needs relaxation time. Her child is, usually asleep by 8 so does need the early nights.
You do what you both need and take no notice of what others do.

I have three kids. At age 8 the older two were going to bed around 8 to 8.30. My youngest is 6 and goes to bed at 7.30.
However now it’s light in the evening and currently school holidays, last night he was outside up a tree when I called him in at 8.30