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I just peaked at middle class wankerism

913 replies

Buckarooo · 05/04/2025 11:47

At a farm café... naturally. And daughter is on special diet, so she was eating her packed lunch. And she went to eat her apple ...I found my self saying "oh darling, let me wash your apple, it's got brioche crumbs all over it"

What a dick I am 🤣

OP posts:
Kneidlach · 05/04/2025 16:33

What a bizarre collection of responses to a pretty inoffensive OP. I only got partway through page 2 and we’d already had outrage at ‘hate speech at the middle classes’, complete failure to detect sarcasm, inability to read a post properly, etc.

For what it’s worth my peak middle class parenting moment was at a park when my daughter was 2. There was a pretend shop area and all the other kids were pretending to sell ice cream, sweets, crisps etc, but according to my daughter her pretend shop sold only pesto and baguette.

I don’t think I even knew what pesto was until I was in my late teens.

Arraminta · 05/04/2025 16:34

It was when DD1 was overheard grumbling to her best friend 'Can't believe we're having to holiday in Tuscany again, that's three times this year already.' My eyes rolled so much it gave me a migraine.

In slightly mitigating (but equally middle class wankeryness) circumstances we did actually own a farmhouse in Tuscany, so obviously we were going to holiday there.

Lorrymum · 05/04/2025 16:34

I think sliced carrots are acceptable in a casserole or stew. Batons would be a tad pretentious!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

BunnyLake · 05/04/2025 16:35

C8H10N4O2 · 05/04/2025 15:58

It also allows us to comment if the OP doesn't make sense to us, if we disagree with it or if a joke simply isn't funny.

Its an old adage in comedy - if your joke falls flat find a new joke, audiences are harder to come by. Telling members of your audience to fuck off if they don't immediately comprehend your joke is also pretty self defeating.

They weren’t even telling a joke. They were relaying something they said that made them stop and smile and think, listen to you, to themselves. If someone can point out why that has brought out so much humourless head scratching I’d like to know why. Brioche in itself may no longer be thought of as a bit posh but the word does sound more la-di-da than bap!

Youngerthanthatnow · 05/04/2025 16:37

CrownCoats · 05/04/2025 14:07

Nothing posh about brioche. It’s UPF and has a shelf life of about 25 years.

And incidentally a brilliant d of e expedition breakfast as high calorie and virtually indestructible. A bag of them could also double up as a pillow.

BlackStrayCat · 05/04/2025 16:37

Titasaducksarse · 05/04/2025 16:26

I felt like a right middle class wanker this
morning. Camping in motorhome but partner made scrambled eggs, smoked salmon and avocado on sourdough for breakfast, followed by fresh baked pain au chocolat and a cafetiere of fresh ground coffee.

FFS what's happened to the bacon butty and mug of builders tea days?

Edited

It is lovely he wants to avoid you getting bowel cancer.
It is a healthy, perfect breakfast to impress you on a weekend morning.

It is not him making you feel like a "middle class wanker" in your motorhome.🙄

BunnyLake · 05/04/2025 16:39

Lorrymum · 05/04/2025 16:34

I think sliced carrots are acceptable in a casserole or stew. Batons would be a tad pretentious!

😁

That for someone reason reminds me of the time we were cutting sandwiches for a children’s party and someone cut them in quarters instead of triangles. I still feel a bit embarrassed at the level of upset I felt inside.

BeatrizBoniface · 05/04/2025 16:41

Arraminta · 05/04/2025 16:34

It was when DD1 was overheard grumbling to her best friend 'Can't believe we're having to holiday in Tuscany again, that's three times this year already.' My eyes rolled so much it gave me a migraine.

In slightly mitigating (but equally middle class wankeryness) circumstances we did actually own a farmhouse in Tuscany, so obviously we were going to holiday there.

😂😂😂
This is brilliant!

BeatrizBoniface · 05/04/2025 16:42

BunnyLake · 05/04/2025 16:39

😁

That for someone reason reminds me of the time we were cutting sandwiches for a children’s party and someone cut them in quarters instead of triangles. I still feel a bit embarrassed at the level of upset I felt inside.

Edited

You should. Sandwiches?! The very idea. Wraps only for Persephone and Oberon.

AlwaysPerfumed · 05/04/2025 16:43

I think if you say you heard yourself say something, think it's middle class and are embarrassed by what you said, or think you're now a middle class 'wanker' or even hate yourself for it, then you are quite clearly not middle class.
Middle class people would not even register the fact they had said it.

It shows instead that you aspire to be or think you are middle class and so when you say one of these things, it gives you a nice-albeit false-feeling of having joined the class you aspire to be part of.

There is nothing wrong with that at all.

However, to hate yourself because you 'found' yourself texting your husband that you had ordered two Le Creuset spoon rests-as a PP described-is rather sad. It's sad for two reasons. Firstly, because this non event would not have even registered on a middle class person's radar-certainly not enough to text about it-and secondly, because it clearly is a big thing to the PP-she's pleased but hates herself for her aspiration.

There is nothing wrong with aspiring to be part of what you think is a better class-mothing at all. You don't have to hate or judge yourself, or call yourself a wanker for this innocent ambition.

The only thing to be careful about is the fact that if you do mention brioche, horses, spoon rests, ski instructors, avocados or whatever you judge is a marker, is the fact that you are flagging the fact that you're faking it to make it to those who are not faking it.

These things are normal and are really not worthy of comment. We get it, you want to join the middle class. There is no need to use this perfectly reasonable want as a stick to beat yourself with. So much self loathing.

One day, if you "succeed", you won't even hear yourself saying these things, let alone hate yourself for it.

BeatrizBoniface · 05/04/2025 16:44

Youngerthanthatnow · 05/04/2025 16:37

And incidentally a brilliant d of e expedition breakfast as high calorie and virtually indestructible. A bag of them could also double up as a pillow.

They're brilliant. So cheap and filling, I used to send my kids off to uni with a big bag full. Plus crisps.
Don't worry, the unis were Russell Group!

BunnyLake · 05/04/2025 16:45

AlwaysPerfumed · 05/04/2025 16:43

I think if you say you heard yourself say something, think it's middle class and are embarrassed by what you said, or think you're now a middle class 'wanker' or even hate yourself for it, then you are quite clearly not middle class.
Middle class people would not even register the fact they had said it.

It shows instead that you aspire to be or think you are middle class and so when you say one of these things, it gives you a nice-albeit false-feeling of having joined the class you aspire to be part of.

There is nothing wrong with that at all.

However, to hate yourself because you 'found' yourself texting your husband that you had ordered two Le Creuset spoon rests-as a PP described-is rather sad. It's sad for two reasons. Firstly, because this non event would not have even registered on a middle class person's radar-certainly not enough to text about it-and secondly, because it clearly is a big thing to the PP-she's pleased but hates herself for her aspiration.

There is nothing wrong with aspiring to be part of what you think is a better class-mothing at all. You don't have to hate or judge yourself, or call yourself a wanker for this innocent ambition.

The only thing to be careful about is the fact that if you do mention brioche, horses, spoon rests, ski instructors, avocados or whatever you judge is a marker, is the fact that you are flagging the fact that you're faking it to make it to those who are not faking it.

These things are normal and are really not worthy of comment. We get it, you want to join the middle class. There is no need to use this perfectly reasonable want as a stick to beat yourself with. So much self loathing.

One day, if you "succeed", you won't even hear yourself saying these things, let alone hate yourself for it.

Honestly I can’t tell if you’re being serious or joining in the middle class wankery 😁

Changedusernameforthis2 · 05/04/2025 16:45

Whys everyone being such a twat to the OP

BunnyLake · 05/04/2025 16:47

Changedusernameforthis2 · 05/04/2025 16:45

Whys everyone being such a twat to the OP

Thankfully not everyone just a sad few who have no sense of humour, especially self-deprecating humour.

SassySusie · 05/04/2025 16:48

BunnyLake · 05/04/2025 16:39

😁

That for someone reason reminds me of the time we were cutting sandwiches for a children’s party and someone cut them in quarters instead of triangles. I still feel a bit embarrassed at the level of upset I felt inside.

Edited

That’s more Hyacinth Buckett territory isn’t it?

iwentjasonwaterfalls · 05/04/2025 16:48

AlwaysPerfumed · 05/04/2025 16:43

I think if you say you heard yourself say something, think it's middle class and are embarrassed by what you said, or think you're now a middle class 'wanker' or even hate yourself for it, then you are quite clearly not middle class.
Middle class people would not even register the fact they had said it.

It shows instead that you aspire to be or think you are middle class and so when you say one of these things, it gives you a nice-albeit false-feeling of having joined the class you aspire to be part of.

There is nothing wrong with that at all.

However, to hate yourself because you 'found' yourself texting your husband that you had ordered two Le Creuset spoon rests-as a PP described-is rather sad. It's sad for two reasons. Firstly, because this non event would not have even registered on a middle class person's radar-certainly not enough to text about it-and secondly, because it clearly is a big thing to the PP-she's pleased but hates herself for her aspiration.

There is nothing wrong with aspiring to be part of what you think is a better class-mothing at all. You don't have to hate or judge yourself, or call yourself a wanker for this innocent ambition.

The only thing to be careful about is the fact that if you do mention brioche, horses, spoon rests, ski instructors, avocados or whatever you judge is a marker, is the fact that you are flagging the fact that you're faking it to make it to those who are not faking it.

These things are normal and are really not worthy of comment. We get it, you want to join the middle class. There is no need to use this perfectly reasonable want as a stick to beat yourself with. So much self loathing.

One day, if you "succeed", you won't even hear yourself saying these things, let alone hate yourself for it.

Satire, right?

BeatrizBoniface · 05/04/2025 16:48

Changedusernameforthis2 · 05/04/2025 16:45

Whys everyone being such a twat to the OP

Dunno. Weird class thing?

Arraminta · 05/04/2025 16:49

Changedusernameforthis2 · 05/04/2025 16:45

Whys everyone being such a twat to the OP

I might be wrong but I suspect an awful lot of people on this thread used to enjoy a life of middle class wankery, but thanks to the COL crisis they literally cannot afford wankerisms anymore. And they're bitter as gall about it.

BeatrizBoniface · 05/04/2025 16:50

SassySusie · 05/04/2025 16:48

That’s more Hyacinth Buckett territory isn’t it?

I loved Hyacinth. I want Royal Doulton tea cups with hand painted periwinkles.
That woman knew how to live.

BumpyaDaisyevna · 05/04/2025 16:55

TonTonMacoute · 05/04/2025 12:27

The sunshine has brought the vipers out I see! 🙄

I was huffing and sighing because Waitrose hasn't had any reblochon cheese, so I haven't been able to make any tartiflette this winter.

i feel you. I had to wait till we went to Tignes skiing at half term for my first tartiflette of the year!

AlwaysPerfumed · 05/04/2025 16:56

iwentjasonwaterfalls · 05/04/2025 16:48

Satire, right?

No. Just my musings which will touch a nerve with those who recognise themselves.

They're not meant to touch a nerve and won't with most people , only those who do what they think are middle class things, are secretly pleased and then have this weird self loathing. Calling yourself a wanker for eating an apple and brioche in a farm cafe or hating yourself for buying Le Creuset spoon rests, after first announcing this momentous buy to your husband by text.

But they're just my thoughts. You don't have to agree.

BunnyLake · 05/04/2025 16:57

BeatrizBoniface · 05/04/2025 16:48

Dunno. Weird class thing?

So I wonder, are the humourless ones middle class? Middle class people can still say something a bit la-di-da and laugh at themselves so I am curious as the type of person who takes offence at a thread like this and states that they see no humour in it.

MrsEndeavourMorse · 05/04/2025 16:57

Joolsin · 05/04/2025 13:08

Well I thought the op was funny.

My friend had a similar cringy moment when, on arriving at a local beach, her small son looked around and said loudly "Well, it's not exactly Saint-Tropez, is it?"!!! She found herself wanting to plead with anyone who overheard that they had just been at Saint-Tropez, but slept in a tent!!!

I wanted a lovely swimsuit a few years ago and said to my daughter "I can swan around pretending I'm in Saint Tropez" she frowned and said Where on earth is Sandra Bay?? 😂

Boreded · 05/04/2025 16:57

Maitri108 · 05/04/2025 13:09

I always thought Viennetta was posh. It's quite the occasion in my house.

Edited

Nope, it is what working class have because they think it is posh 🤣 we expect one at my mum’s every Christmas as it is a special occasion

Titasaducksarse · 05/04/2025 16:58

Lol...my partner doesn't do it to impress me nor is he a regular useless man that is often bemoaned on MN. This is literally just his normal weekend breakfast!