I just peaked at middle class wankerism

[Buckarooo]

At a farm café... naturally. And daughter is on special diet, so she was eating her packed lunch. And she went to eat her apple ...I found my self saying "oh darling, let me wash your apple, it's got brioche crumbs all over it"

What a dick I am 🤣

It’s really quite depressing how an inoffensive (unless you’re terminally offended) thread, basically about something you’ve said that has made you smile and think listen to you Lady Muck, manages to bring out stroppy, offended, humourless, I’m assuming women, (surely most men would not be arsed with this level of mouth pursing).

It also allows us to comment if the OP doesn't make sense to us, if we disagree with it or if a joke simply isn't funny.

Its an old adage in comedy - if your joke falls flat find a new joke, audiences are harder to come by. Telling members of your audience to fuck off if they don't immediately comprehend your joke is also pretty self defeating.

Why are people getting bent out of shape over self deprecating joke. Have a walk and a nice drink, I promise it is not that serious

I don’t think anyone is triggered by this thread.

Recently heard myself saying to my partner ‘I’m off to tell my horse how mean my ski instructor is’. Mortified.

😁

Well. I hope your horse was sympathetic. Don't forget to tell your ski instructor what a CF your horse is.

Oh I don’t know, there’s definitely some very strange reactions on this thread, I mean really odd.

I agree. Life is too short to be this dry, stiff and serious.

I mean I agree, the gushing to pretend basic foodstuffs have allowed posters to move between social classes is very odd. But triggered is somewhat dramatic

I don’t think it’s self depreciating. oP is desperate to be thought of as middle class but almost certainly isn’t.
So she isn’t taking the piss out of herself at all. Just putting on an aspirational persona. Which is cringing plenty of us out

Everyone knows brioche and Apple don’t go together. Would taste crumby.

I repeat, what is "middle-class wankery"?
Apple or crumbs? The brioche bun aspect of the crumbs? What and why? Was it the performance parenting?

What is funny?

We usually say, "Not that tin, I don't want botulism"

Although you could inject it into your wrinkles

I'm so loving this thread, every post a little gem in it's own little way! Obviously the thread hasn't gone the way the OP thought it would but it has cheered me up no end!
I'm disappointed no one has mentioned carrots yet - apparently there's a right way (batons) and a 'common' way (in rounds) to slice them. I was informed of this by a good friend who looked quite embarrassed explaining carrot slicing etiquette when I was helping her make tea/dinner/supper/evening meal (insert adjective of choice)
Thought I'd throw that one into the general conversation and see how it goes... 😂

Lol haven't RTFT (because I couldn't be arsed with the overseriousness) but I once phoned my DH from Waitrose and said "they have rioja, but not the right rioja"

Catherine Tate never convinces me as a posh mum. I think because of her sweary nan character 😂

Bastards. Go to the Co-op, they have a brilliant selection, seriously..

What's a brioche? Is it like a bap? 🤔

I felt like a right middle class wanker this
morning. Camping in motorhome but partner made scrambled eggs, smoked salmon and avocado on sourdough for breakfast, followed by fresh baked pain au chocolat and a cafetiere of fresh ground coffee.

FFS what's happened to the bacon butty and mug of builders tea days?

I was once helping a friend’s mum prepare Sunday lunch (I was in my late teens). Friend’s boyfriend was there - very Oxbridge - he watched me, then nodded approvingly when I cut them into batons and said “I was waiting to see which way you cut them”. Well thank goodness I passed the test

In our house there’s an everyday way (rounds) and an occasion way (batons) tbh even Sunday lunch counts as an occasion - batons just taste nicer, I swear you can taste the extra effort!

Very sweet, you can get them cheap in Lidl.

There’s a very (very) middle class cafe in Hay-on-Wye that has “mug of builder’s tea” on the menu. Even that is being poached by the middle classes. Insidious.