I'm not sure how I feel about this.
For various reasons when we "stay in" it's mostly at my house. I like to cook. I also like to host (anyone) and always have drinks, biscuits cakes etc, that I am more tham happy to share with guests. As a child whenever anyone arrived at the house, my mother's first action would be to put the kettle on and get the cake tin out and I receive visitors in the same way. Always cook plenty for everyone etc.
However, most visitors are occasional and/or reciprocate. DP does occasionally buy a takeaway, but I doubt it matches my costs for having him here. That wouldn't bother me for any other friend, but with him I sometimes feel he should acknowledge he does very well out of the arrangement and hence, point 2.
When we go out, we either take turns or split the bill. If we're away, for example, we'll put everything on one card and settle up afterwards. He's always very quick to pay, needs no prompting but it is always exactly 50/50. However, he also has a big appetite, so he will almost always have ordered more food than me. Again, with other friends this wouldn't bother me at all, I can't be doing with paying for exactly what you had and am more than happy to split, on a swings and roundabouts basis, but this is always one-sided. I also think it wouldn't hurt if he offered to pay occasionally to acknowledge how often I "host" him. Otoh, I really don't want to "make" from him and I do want to pay my way, just for things to be right.
I'm better off than he is, but to a large extent that's due to the life choices we've made, he could earn more if he wanted to (or I could earn less if I lived like he does).
Anyway, this is alien to me, I'm a generous friend, but in most of my friendships, that's a moot point because they always pay their way too, someone who ordered an extra dessert would make sure they paid a bit extra when the bill is split etc.
So, it's bugging me, but I don't know if I'm unreasonable or not. He comes to mine mostly because I like it that way, I'd rather be here than at his and I cook because I want to, which probably saves me money despite cooking for him because he'd eat out (and I'd pay half) every day left to him. I'm not in any financial hardship and I'm always generous with guests, but he's here so frequently he doesn't feel like a guest iyswim.
Anyway, I'm not a person who keeps a close tally normally, but something about this is bugging me and I don't like that, but also not prepared to be taken advantage of. Is he?
What would you expect to happen if I tried to say I need our financial arrangements to reflect that he does very well out of spending so much time here? Should I?