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Original poster

They lied about their reason for going on a trip

108 replies

LillylollyAndy · 31/03/2025 19:32

I hope the person this is about doesn’t see this.
someone I met recently mentioned they wouldn’t be here as usual on monday, because they were going to a wedding over the weekend and needed to sleep it off.
they complained they would have to travel back on Sunday with no sleep because their wife has an important job in a role that works with the vulnerable so they can’t miss work on the Monday.
I have found out through publicly available social media posts that they had actually gone on a romantic weekend get away away for their birthday with their wife.
I also found out that their wife currently works as a regular employee, a laborious job in a factory which she presents online.
but I’m just thinking, why lie?

OP posts:
Ubugly · 31/03/2025 22:41

I find this that people mainly men just seen to tell the most random lies, even people I know and am friends with on social media then forgot they’ve lied and either slip up in person or post online with what they’ve really done, it’s just bizarre!

I get the odd white lie if you CBA to go out and have a headache or to WFH etc but just ridiculous lies are strange.

i would have had a nose to OP 😂

ItGhoul · 31/03/2025 22:44

I’d also lie to someone if they were as obsessed with me and my private life as you seem to be with this bloke. He’s probably fed up with you poking your nose into his business and questioning everything he does.

MoonWoman69 · 31/03/2025 23:05

LillylollyAndy · 31/03/2025 22:25

I’m getting roasted on here
I don’t like confrontation so I didn’t want to ask him

Hardly surprising really! You've only recently met him, why are you so invested in what he's up to?
And why are you so bothered that he lied? He's nothing to you, so what difference does it make?!
This is giving off creepy stalker vibes to me I'm afraid. Perhaps a hobby will give you a focus on something other than pondering things that don't really make a difference to you?

ThinkTink · 31/03/2025 23:09

Let it go

beenwhereyouare · 31/03/2025 23:28

LillylollyAndy · 31/03/2025 19:51

I should add he was complaining that his wife was making him go to the wedding but it was all for him anyway

Is it possible she surprised him with a birthday trip? A fictional wedding would be a good excuse to pack dress up clothes.

HellDorado · 31/03/2025 23:38

Possibilities:

  1. He fancies you and wants to let you know he’s up for some fun on the side, but no more than that. He’s sowing the seeds that his wife is a miserable old trout who drags him off to weddings he doesn’t want to attend, but he can’t leave her as she’s some saintly carer and he’s the only light in her life.

  2. He’s completely deranged and makes things up for absolutely no reason. Watch out for him telling you he’s a distant cousin of Gordon Burns, is in training to swim the channel and once walked from Coventry to Carlisle in aid of sufferers of housemaid’s knee.

  3. He thinks you’re showing a little bit too much interest in his life, so is feeding you misinformation to see if you go digging.

Itisjustmyopinion · 31/03/2025 23:46

LillylollyAndy · 31/03/2025 22:25

I’m getting roasted on here
I don’t like confrontation so I didn’t want to ask him

Rightly so as you are coming across as either someone who is having an affair with someone who is in a relationship or stalking the private business of someone you are not involved with

Normal people with no connection to someone would be bothered with a white lie like this

zzpleb · 01/04/2025 00:02

I don't know why OP is getting such a hard time. People post about random shit on Mumsnet for discussion all the time - doesn't mean they're obsessed or stalking anyone. Looking at someone's social media could just be looking at their Facebook account.

OP: was it just you he told about the wedding weekend or other people too? It might not have been you who he intended to throw off the scent.

I had a colleague who came back from a supposedly surprise holiday organised by their spouse. It came to light (not via any stalking behaviour) that our colleague had actually booked the holiday themself, not the spouse.

Why the lie? They were having an affair with someone at work and presumably didn't want that person to know that their marriage wasn't in the bad state that they were claiming it was.

Strawberrycupcakes · 01/04/2025 00:05

I’d probably ask him how the wedding was. Ask if he’s got any photos of the bride and groom. See how he responds 😂

ohnowwhatcanitbe · 01/04/2025 00:09

LillylollyAndy · 31/03/2025 21:08

I’m surprised you wouldn’t be curious about why someone lied to you if it looked like they didn’t have to

Yes, but why would you even care enough to bother checking?

rosehipstalk · 01/04/2025 07:22

ohnowwhatcanitbe · 01/04/2025 00:09

Yes, but why would you even care enough to bother checking?

Show quote history

Exactly- I can completely get feeling a bit bewildered that someone lied to you over something seemingly insignificant - it is odd and you might think how weird, I wonder why they did that?

What people are reacting to in this case are the lengths you seem to be going to sniff out this lie- checking his social media, asking us to figure out why he did it, ruminating about it etc Most people would only do that if the lie was significant and it affected them in some way and the person meant something emotionally to them. What he does in his time off is really nothing to do with you so why worry about it- who cares? You mention not liking confrontation but why do you need to "confront" him about it- what will you gain from that other than sour your relationship with him and cause an awkward situation?

Someone at work lied to me about something tiny and small and I found out but I just laughed it off because it was so ridiculous and silly and I actually couldnt care less about it. I just presumed that they were trying to make themselves look better.

Mickeychampionwhatgoodami · 01/04/2025 07:43

How could you be bothered

SwanOfThoseThings · 01/04/2025 07:48

Sometimes people lie because they can't be bothered to tell the truth about something that's either a bit complicated or might inspire lots of follow-up questions that they can't be arsed with. I wonder if this falls into that category.

TortolaParadise · 01/04/2025 08:17

People look people up on social media all the time - it is the place to gather ammunition and fuel gossip if that is your intention. Same way that some folks are addicted to searching marriage, birth and death records. This is all publicly available I know but .... curiosity killed the cat. 🐈

GameOfJones · 01/04/2025 08:34

You've been given plenty of reasons above why he may have lied. Everything from he got mixed up with the dates to he got a bad vibe from you.

What I would say is it is pretty strange behaviour to look up his social media, and his wife's. It shows a level of investment that most people wouldn't have if just told a story that sounded a bit odd. Most people would say "huh, that wedding sounds weird" and then move on with their day. The fact that you looked them both up online, then created a Mumsnet thread about it is strange.

You don't know that he lied about his wife's job. She may have a second job or not have updated her details online. My Facebook profile shows my old job, not my current one as I haven't bothered updating it. She may be the same but you seem very sure he's lied about it when actually, you don't know for sure. All of that makes me think it's more likely you have given off a weird vibe and something about the way you have acted has made him not want to tell you his whereabouts. I can understand that completely from his point of view.

How exactly do you know this man?

ClemmyTine · 01/04/2025 08:38

It's because some people just lie for no reason.

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 01/04/2025 09:00

LillylollyAndy · 31/03/2025 22:25

I’m getting roasted on here
I don’t like confrontation so I didn’t want to ask him

well, thta's understandable...
It is the most bizarre of OPs to start with; you 'recently' met a man who you were discussing plans for the weekemnd with. He tells you ,I am doing x...' yet for some obscure reason, you took it upon yourself to rifle through his and other associated social media platforms to check whether this was true or not...
Someone you recently met, yet apparently are not having/wanting a relationship with...
That is the most bizarre behaviour, even for good old MN
So yes, you are being 'roasted' because you do not seem to be making any logical sense

Boligrafo · 01/04/2025 09:11

LillylollyAndy · 31/03/2025 21:08

I’m surprised you wouldn’t be curious about why someone lied to you if it looked like they didn’t have to

Most people would just think ‘Weird. I wonder what that was about?’ and go on with their day. The oddest thing here isn’t a white lie which has literally no consequences but your somewhat obsessive interest in ‘checking up’ on it.

Original poster
LillylollyAndy · 01/04/2025 12:33

ive had my arse handed to me

OP posts:
Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 01/04/2025 15:39

You don't want to say why you are so bothered, do you?

which makes it crystal clear why you are obsessing about him. Ignoring questions is answering them you know.

People draw conclusions from questions not answered as much as from those that are.

Original poster
LillylollyAndy · 01/04/2025 15:40

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 01/04/2025 15:39

You don't want to say why you are so bothered, do you?

which makes it crystal clear why you are obsessing about him. Ignoring questions is answering them you know.

People draw conclusions from questions not answered as much as from those that are.

I already explained why I was bothered. He lied to me, and that bothered me. And you are hell bent on telling me, someone you don’t know, that I fancy someone else. Don’t tell me how to feel

OP posts:
rosehipstalk · 01/04/2025 19:48

I already explained why I was bothered. He lied to me, and that bothered me

Ok, so ask him then.

None of us are inside his head and none of us know his true motivation to lie. If this is bothering you apparently as much as you keep telling us it is, then bloody ask him.

We arent mind readers, at this point we're just guessing and all the suggestions I said as to why he might lie, you said no, it couldnt possibly be that.

So, ask him. Thats the only logical conclusion to this.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 01/04/2025 19:49

Dont be so ridiculous. I have not once told you how to feel.

I have told you how you are coming across. And since practically everyone on the thread appears to be thinking the same way... 🤷‍♀️

Telling someone how they appear to others is completely different from telling them how to feel.

For example, to pick something at random, if, say, someone was to say to a person that they come across as absolutely unhinged, they are not ordering that person to feel unhinged. They would be saying the person is presenting in that way.

I'm sure you understand the difference.

Drummergirl1971 · 02/04/2025 17:48

I’m finding people’s reactions to the OP weird. She had an inkling he was lying, he was, would’ve taken seconds to find him on social media - a quick, easy way to check it out cos people tend to post photos & tag people into events like weddings. I don’t know what’s with all this holier-than-thou-shame-on-you-for-stalking schtick. I’m with you OP.

FormidableAnt · 02/04/2025 18:42

Sorry if I missed this, but where is the 'here' he wasn't going to be on Monday, and why was it so important you had to dive into his socials to play Poirot?