Do you want to hear something funny?

[RamsaySnowsSausage]

Not heard from my ex for few years- we broke up about 5 years ago after a few years together.

His parents gave my dc (not his dc) one of those meerkats you get free when using the website to get insurance.

Today I get: 'Hi, how are you? Can I collect my mum's meerkat if X has finished playing with it. Are you still at [address]? I can do any day next week. Ta.'

I mean, they are now a teenager so have indeed finished playing with Sergei.

My guess is he's split up with his latest victim and this was the best reason he could think of to get in touch. What a plonker.

He's not having him!!

Have you replied??

😭😭😭 that's the best excuse he was able to come up with, you're well rid of him!

😂😂😂 that has cracked me up

Is he a bit (…shoots cuffs, winks to camera…) simples?

Do NOT hand over poor Sergei to this monster, Sergei deserves better.

Nice😏

The only reply is surely, "Who is this?"

“Can I have my mum’s meerkat!!??!”
😂😂😂😂😂

What a loser! Tell him you gave it to the charity shop. Or just don’t reply.

I'd have some fun with this one OP. Maybe tell him you had to send it to the Vatican to be exorcised. Or that someone gave him clothes so he's a free meerkat these days.

#justiceforsergei

🤣🤣🤣

Can I collect my mums meerkat is not a phrase I expected to hear today, lol. Seriously though, I’d ignore him. Very strange request, ship has sailed, etc.

Just ignore it.

Get your DC to do their best compo face pose while cuddling the meerkat and send him a picture asking how he could be so heartless as to part DC from their treasured friend.

I mean...
did you end in a friendly way?
It's been 5 years, could you not just say ' it went to a charity shop years ago, hope all is ok?'

I'm

Congratulations on winning the best post of the day. This is brilliant

Sounds like he may have another gf with a child.

In this house, while a cuddly toy may indeed not be played with, the idea of parting with any cuddly toy has been greeted with disbelief and incredulity. The cuddly toys moved out with offspring!
Sergei is for life, not just for a period of car insurance.
If his parents wanted it back, they should have asked you directly, a long time ago.
Block and ignore him.

Exactly

😂😂😂 that’s hilarious!!!

I think you at least need to discuss it with Sergei OP. Won’t somebody think of the meerkats?

Haha, no, I haven't replied. I don't think I will- see if he double texts over mummy's meerkat.

He is mid forties by the way. It was a bit of a rough break up but it calmed down quickly and he moved on...and on...and on.

He can't cope with being single- I imagine he has a spreadsheet of petty excuses to contact exes when a vacancy arises.

His mum was very nice btw, I'd hate to think of her heart aching for Sergei but it was very much a gift and not a fostering situation!

Pickings must be thin on the ground if that's the best he can come up with.
He's surely exhausted all options on tinder and you're his last hope op.
What a loser.

mummy's meerkat.
Sounds like a twee euphemism omg 😆

This is very funny indeed. And does make him sound very simples!