Do you want to hear something funny?

[RamsaySnowsSausage]

Not heard from my ex for few years- we broke up about 5 years ago after a few years together.

His parents gave my dc (not his dc) one of those meerkats you get free when using the website to get insurance.

Today I get: 'Hi, how are you? Can I collect my mum's meerkat if X has finished playing with it. Are you still at [address]? I can do any day next week. Ta.'

I mean, they are now a teenager so have indeed finished playing with Sergei.

My guess is he's split up with his latest victim and this was the best reason he could think of to get in touch. What a plonker.

He's not having him!!

So you broke up five years ago and he just abandoned Sergei? Now he thinks he can just waltz in and whisk him off? I don't think so!

What a loser! Blatant (and pathetic) attempt at making contact 🤣

I love this, totally pathetic!

I couldn't stop myself from replying, I'd keep this running for as long as I could.

Are they suddenly worth something? Like those Barclays money boxes from when we were kids.

Dear ex.
Sergei is very happy with his current living situation and my dcs and myself feel this upheaval out of the blue wouldn't be in Sergei best interests , it's been too long and he doesn't know you .
Feel free to go to the local courts and ask them for a Meerkat Arrangement Order so establish some time with him

Noooo. You see them in every charity shop for next to nothing, and the NatWest piggy banks.

Wow no do not enter into a custody battle over Sergei. What did he do for Sergei?

This!!

Uh - and what about all those years of back-maintenance? Where was he when Sergei needed school shoes and university fees?! But now he wants to waltz in and take him to Disney and play the doting father...

At the very least, I'd require a paternity test... 🤨

"Not without a court order".

I mean they’re going for about a tenner on eBay… is he skint?!!

Wow that's so pathetic. Don't respond, that's what he wants - a response - any response!

Aleksandr?? Is that you?

Jeez. My reply would be ‘erm, Sergei died and went to plushy heaven years ago…’

😂😂😂😂😂

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

It would be a nope from me!

Upup..that was ace!!

#savesergei

Lols. I wonder what else is on his list of ‘petty excuses’…

“Can you pay me back that fiver I lent you in 2019…”

Google Sergei in case you have a limited edition, valuable one.

This really made me laugh, what a plonker!

He can pop round mine. My MIL got the whole collection of bloody meerkats which we are now housing in our loft because one day "I'm sure they will be worth something" 🙄🙄 I'd didn't even know there was a collection to get! So we've got a whole family living upstairs 🙄🤣

😂😂😂😂

God what a lame excuse to get in touch. The only answer under these circumstances is absolutely nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Silence is golden.

Haha, loving the replies 🤣

The man is NOT poor, his mum and step- dad are VERY NOT poor.

He is incredibly, incredibly petty. He was/is? very well off and he assumed this made up for any attention/care/empathy/housework.

I will no doubt be written into his scrooge-ledger as a meerkat gold digger.

He enjoys being litigious...if I have to go to court for custody, I hope some of you will be character witnesses!

I raised that goddamn meerkat, I wasn't the perfect parent but he always had a clean smoking jacket and I encouraged him to embrace his culture and watch Meerkat Manor.