Evening all. I'd have been here earlier but I've done a lot of sleeping today because yesterday was sort of full on and knackered me out, but it was all rather bloody wonderful.
The weather was pretty good, good enough for us to be happy to be sitting on haybales in a beautiful field. I was on a posher chair that was slightly throne pimped and very comfortable. We had a marquee that was decorated so beautifully and fully of tasty food and drink and flowers that actually had a scent which was lovely to smell as we all sat around. It felt like the number of people was perfect, around thirty-five, not too many but not too few. Groups within those numbers knew each other, so no one was alone and felt awkward but by the end of the day everyone was talking to each other and everyone knew a little bit about someone they'd never met before which was just what I wanted. I went to sit in a car for a while to close my eyes for a bit and all I could hear around me was talking and laughter and it made me so happy.
One of the things I loved was that five of my friends from sixth form were there and who'd think you'd still know that many over forty years later? I could honestly have had about twenty more but I didn't want it to be another school reunion! We all got back in touch in February 2020, and it was so successful and we all like each other so much that we're all now just back in touch and meet up a few times a year.
You find out what people think about you and who you are to them. I am apparently cooler than I ever thought I was although, how? What? I was told of things that had happened in the past that I have the vaguest of memories off but I do pity my poor 4th and 5th form maths teacher although if he'd actually been even able to teach a little I maybe wouldn't have pretended to be madly in love with him and about to throw myself out of the window if he didn't declare his love for me. Nobody in his class passed maths and most of us got a U. Man, he was shit.
Anyway, so much love around, such a beautiful day and I would highly recommend it. There isn't going to be an official funeral although if family or anyone wants a memorial or a mass I'm happy for that to happen. I got what I wanted to celebrate my life with a group of people I care about and I'm glad the numbers were limited because it could have become all too much.
I got to see my horse woman again. We just kiss on the lips now as though we've been friends for years or as though we're falling in love. I can't explain the connection, but she's joined my last tv crush as proof I still have that sort of love inside me even if I'm happy that it's not going to go anywhere just make me smile.
I'm getting photos and film coming in, but for now just to tell you I was wearing a shoulder-padded, long red sequin dress with an open back. For the beginning of the funeral I wore a mantilla and black paper roses in my hair and then when we moved on a little I put on my glorious red turbon (and ridiculously expensive new, were brand new but bought on a designer site for a lot, lots less than the £200 I never would have paid. DKNY, Leather and lace invsible platform nonsense trainer). I looked and felt fabulous.
My friend E was my voice for the day. She read what I'd written the night before and an extract from my unfinished book from over a decade ago: Ruby Darling, Single and Loving It. Other people now want to read a bit more, so there's that too!
I'm tired, achy and in need of looking after today but oh so very happy and I loved yesterday so much that I'd stay in bed for a week on the back of it if I had to but I don't think that will be necessary!