I find sex….gross

[Soubriquet]

It’s odd I know. I’m 36 years old and still using the word gross but I do find sex to be really ugh. I do have autism so that probably doesn’t help, but I just don’t like the stickiness and the wetness.

On top of that, I haven’t had proper sex in years due to cervical pain when I’m having intercourse (yes I’ve contacted the doctor. I’m currently booked in). I don’t get turned on easily, and when I do, I tend to find a couple of minutes of rubbing my clitoris through my knickers better. I can’t bring myself to insert my fingers. It…feels unnecessary and yeah gross.

Im weird aren’t I? This isn’t normal is it?

There’s no normal when it comes to sex. It’s normal for you to feel that way. It’s okay to not enjoy or ever want sex, regardless of what society tells us.

True..but I’ve never heard anyone else feel like this. Maybe people aren’t comfortable talking about it like this

I feel the same. When you think about it, it isn't a pleasant act. It's supposed to be though and the media hype it all up. I have a DH who has a far higher sex drive than me and I feel guilty not wanting to dtd much. I have to work myself up to it and it feels like another job to get out of the way!

You're not weird - what does it for me, doesn't do it for you, and that's ok

Sex can be gross, when you think about it

I feel sorry for you. It's one of life's greatest activities imo.

Could you be Asexual?

The thought of sex with the wrong person is gross but when it’s the right person it’s amazing!

There's no normal; whatever works for you. It's fine not to like sex.

I absolutely love sex, but I can not put my fingers inside myself, it really, really freaks me out. So no, I don't think that's weird at all.

Not a huge fan myself if I'm honest

I'm the exact same! It feels uncomfortable to me. I don't mind so much when my partner does it but I don't particularly enjoy that aspect.

You’re autistic, you do not have to conform!
Everyone has their joys and dislikes where sex is concerned and, unless you’re with a partner, this concerns no one else bar you! If you have a DP then they do need to be aware of your discomfort with the whole process.

You are not weird - you are you. We are all different.

Sex is over-hyped. I have had wonderful loving sex with my late OH and times when it was a bit of a bore. And if you analyse it it is pretty crude - this is why children find it so puzzling when they first learn about it - why the heck would you do THAT!!??

It is lovely and it is also messy; it is satisfying and it is also gross! But without it we would not be here!

You are allowed to like and dislike whatever you want. People's attitudes to sex vary over their lifetime and depending on who they are with. At this point in life you find it gross - then don't do it and own that happily!

And I am sure you are not alone!

My (male) best friend thinks sex is gross. He says he hates the smell and that it’s grubby.

Me and the other hand I love everything about it and so does my partner 🤣

I think the way you feel is very unusual. I don't want to use the word 'normal', but it's not...'the norm'.

There are lots of different sexual techniques and ways to be touched.

Have you had much experience, to have an opportunity to find out what you might like?

Sometimes life is just too chaotic already to add in more mess ime!!

There’s no right or wrong way to feel as long as you are honest with any partner.

There a large asexual community, might be worth looking into that and seeing if it resonates.

I do find it a bit weird to find it gross to be honest....but then again I'm bit of a (sex deprived) nympho so don't listen to me 😂😭

Try OB Yes lube and a bullet, give it a go, you might enjoy it.

I love sex but there's definitely parts I find gross. I masturbate but I don't like putting my fingers inside . I don't have any issue with my husband penetrating me but when I was younger and inexperienced it was a bit of a daunting prospect.

A good friend of mine from school felt the same way. She married a homosexual. They've been married around 30 years. Whatever they are doing or aren't doing works for them.

Or more accurately, we're all bloody weird, everyone in a unique and interesting way.

@Soubriquet I feel much the same way about Bananas that you do about sex. The smell, the texture, the colour, the sliminess, the fact they go mushy and black if you look at them funny. (Not the taste oddly enough, I actually like the flavour of banana, it just has to be completely divorced from all other banana-ey characteristics.)

As far as I'm concerned, anyone who likes bananas must be some kind of sick freak, yet on the balance of statistics I must be the weirdo.

But you're no weirder than me OP. And no weirder than the billions of other people in the world with an utterly different opinion on something compared to the majority.

And you're not that unusual really. There are entire dating platforms dedicated to people who have no interest in sex. That's more than us banana haters have got, I had no hope trying to find a partner who would understand its unacceptable to eat a banana when I'm confined in a car with her.

I have been masturbating for the past 25 years and I can honestly say that not once have I ever inserted my fingers into myself and the thought of it does not appeal to me at all. I’m all about clitoral stimulation.

So don’t be thinking you’re unusual in that sense.