I find sex….gross

[Soubriquet]

It’s odd I know. I’m 36 years old and still using the word gross but I do find sex to be really ugh. I do have autism so that probably doesn’t help, but I just don’t like the stickiness and the wetness.

On top of that, I haven’t had proper sex in years due to cervical pain when I’m having intercourse (yes I’ve contacted the doctor. I’m currently booked in). I don’t get turned on easily, and when I do, I tend to find a couple of minutes of rubbing my clitoris through my knickers better. I can’t bring myself to insert my fingers. It…feels unnecessary and yeah gross.

Im weird aren’t I? This isn’t normal is it?

When I saw a gynae for my prolapse, he asked if I wanted him to essentially write me a sicknote for avoiding sex. He said that a fairly large proportion of the women he saw (not all prolapsed) disliked sex but felt they had to do it, so now he offered this to all his patients.

I took him up on it btw.

Also every bit of research I've read has said women rarely orgasm through penetration. So it can't be that great for everyone else either!

Look up asexuality/AVEN. You are not alone and not weird.

Que? But the clitoris is inside you? @NorthernGirl1981 or maybe women’s anatomies vary much more widely than previously acknowledged…?

I feel that way about mushrooms, except I also hate the smell of them unless they are fried. The texture, god no.

The chicken and mushroom pot noodles I have to take out each mushroom before putting in the water and even then I'm not overly keen as there still a whiff of mushrooms in it.

Umm, I haven't got one and even I know thats not true!

Eh?

You might need to Google this.

Sorry what? I’m a bit concerned now.

It's a Pot Noodle, I'm pretty sure nothing in there was ever actually part of a mushroom.

Yes, same. I’m a bit squeamish anyway, and find the fluids, pubes etc all a bit gross.

Yes I also hate anything finger related so I don’t do it, love a dick though.

For some people. Not all, depending on your partner etc

I mean the clitoris is a whole massive wishbone shaped thing that goes right round behind the walls of the vagina and even the external bit takes a bit of digging to get to so I am not sure how you get that it “isn’t inside you”?

I suppose it depends on your definition of "inside", but I'd say most people would define inside as within the vagina, whereas I'm guessing you're counting anything between your labia as inside.

Edit: Just seen your latest post. Ah OK, I see where you're coming from. Still a difference in semantics, just not the one I was thinking of.

You're definitely not alone and there's nothing wrong with you for feeling like this.

I'm asexual and have always felt the same about it too.

yeah I guess
i am just a bit boggled at the idea of being able to masturbate without going “inside”! That would be a lot easier!
edited to say it would probably make walking around interesting too but I think we know what we mean so I’ll just stop talking now LOL

Asexual possibly?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I can quite confidently say that the clitoris is not inside the vagina.

It’s not weird not to like sex. Especially since you have pain during it. Lots of people don’t like sex, for all kinds of reasons.

I wouldn’t overthink it. Don’t make yourself do it if you don’t enjoy it!

I used to have a really high sex drive, pregnancy my sex drive dropped to zero. It’s finally picking up a little 2 years postpartum. I say this because I think sex drive and what is gross or appealing is not necessarily fixed but fluctuates. I used to love being given oral, now it makes me feel sick even to think of it. ‘Bum stuff’ used to gross me out but lately I’ve been finding it very arousing. I think you just have to go with what turns you on at the time and listen to your body - although also we do need to compromise as sex is important to maintain a relationship. By that I don’t mean you have to constantly do things you hate, but I dis feel when I had zero sex drive it was unfair on my DH to just refuse sex for years on end so we did still have sex albeit once or twice a fortnight rather than a few times a week. I also don’t masturbate by putting fingers inside myself - I don’t think that’s unusual.

Well yes but that isn’t what you said. But anyway I think it’s just semantics.

What are you talking about? Obviously there is an internal part but it’s universally understood that people mean the external part when they use the word clitoris. And the external part doesn’t take any “digging” - it’s right there! Are you really a woman???

Maybe you are asexual quite a lot of autistic people are.
Do you experience attraction and desire for others?

This is so unhelpful. It’s only great if you enjoy it. Comments like this will make OP feel like she should keep trying, and that can end up being really damaging if she is asexual or even simply does not like sex. Which she has been clear she does not!

I can really see something liberating in not enjoying/thinking about sex. I’m sure the OP could flip it round and feel sorry for people who do.