I hate my cat. I did not sign up for this

[Ragcatdoll]

3 year old male ragdoll. Bought from reputable breeder as a kitten. Researched the breed before buying. Consensus was I was signing up for a “living breathing teddy bear who will follow you everywhere”.

Reality is an unfriendly bored cat whose only aim in life is to leave his home. He has a 3 storey house to explore. Cat trees. Multiple toys. His 3 year old sister from same litter to play with. Attention all day from my grown up DS who works from home and my DH.

Did I mention I spent 4k professionally cat proofing my garden which he has access to 24/7 via a cat flap? Still not happy.Sits by front door screaming day and night to go out. Tries everything to get out the front including leaping from 2nd floor window which he did on Saturday. I’ve had enough.

Hes spent all day crying at the front door to go outside even though he has a secure back garden!!

I can’t cope with him anymore. Didn’t sign up for this. Not sure what else I can do except let him go outside the front where we have a road, a quiet road, but a road none the less. All I see on social media are ragdolls who lay around the house sleeping all day quite content.

His sister is lovely, loves her back garden & is a content little thing. He on the other hand is making the whole family miserable,

Good for you

OP is asking for advice - as it stands, she has a young cat who currently lives indoors with garden access and who is still miserable. What's she supposed to do? Keep it trapped and miserable for another 15 years?

At the end of the day, cats are bred and designed to roam. Creating a designer breed doesn't negate that.

You do know not all cats want to roam? Mine was happy with his cat proofed garden and we were happy knowing he was safe.

Some might want to roam, others will be happy indoors or with a catio or cat proofed garden.

Bengals and Burmese are the Dogs of the cat world.
A Bengal gets walked on a harness locally, much to the surprise of our Whippet.😂

You hate him because he does what cats do? Cats can be annoying, it doesn't matter what breed or what you've spent. They're an animal, not a cuddly toy. I post cute pictures of my dog, but behind the scenes she's a menace. Don't believe what you see on social media, half of the time it isn't the reality.

Burmese are geniuses. Bengals not so much. Neither would appreciate being compared to dogs…

Try taking a walk with him. Let him get used to the smells and sights of your street. He might be happy with something like a supervised walk, which you or your son could do.

But OP's cat isn't happy and is desperate to be out - that's the difference.

A Neighbour did have an exotic cat stolen- A Maine Coon.

The Maine Coon we have locally would probably not be as easy though steal -
The stolen one was very friendly and stunningly marked.
She was also spayed, but the thief probably didn’t realise that.

A lot of Whippets live with Burmese and Bengals- they seem to gel very well, grooming a d playing together
Whippets are very feline-
My Brother’s cats retrieve like dogs.

I'd let him out- can't see why a Ragdoll would be any different to the average moggie in terms of streetwise behaviour. Sure, occasionally cats wander off or get run over, but most don't. The only cat I've had that got lost was an indoor cat that had never been out before because she was not used to it and escaped. Let him out for short stints at first, making sure it's just before meal time then call him back for food. Within a few days he will have explored the immediate area and decided on his territory boundaries and will most likely not go that far, especially if you are in an urban area where other cats live as that limits their territory size as they have to share with the neighbours cats.

You don't know that until you get the cat though. You can't bank on your cat being happy to be inside - and if they're showing that they're unhappy, it's very cruel to prevent that natural instinct.

Also, the truth is that many pet owners simply don't recognise the signs of stress or unhappiness displayed by different species.

The problem is, that you never know what kind of cat you're going to get.

I'm an antisocial bastard who can happily go days without leaving my house. Doesn't mean my mental health isn't going to take a nose dive if I suddenly find all the doors are locked.

Having a house cat is fine if you own a cat who is happy to be a house cat. If you've got one who needs to roam then not letting them out is bordering on animal abuse.

IMO you should let him out. He clearly wants to roam more freely than the catproofed garden allows him to, and it's more than likely he will be OK. I know you're worried about the road, but cats are generally cautious animals and it's more than likely he'll be fine. He's not fine now - he sounds bored shitless tbh.

Presumably he's chipped? Get a collar and an ID tag on him, even a tracking tag if it'll help you not to worry, and let him do his thing.

No! Poor cat! I always feel sorry for cats on leads- they are territorial animals and most become stressed in unfamiliar environments.

it's stressed because it wants to go out

OP you need to stimulate him, not rely on him picking up his toys and play. He won't unless he sees something as prey. Indoor cats need playing with, making a fuss etc., especially when they are still young and energetic.

You need to wear him out, sorry if that wasn't made clear to you. Young cats don't lay around and sleep all day. The fact that you have a 2nd cat does not always mean they will entertain each other enough. I have two young cats and spend a chunk of my mornings and evenings entertaining them. They also play with each other. But if I am busy and haven't bothered for a day I can tell they don't know what to do with their energy.

Indoor cats are not such an easy pet as some people think they are.

If you love him, set him free!

Let him out OP.
If you do he will do what most cats do. Sit outside the house for 10 minutes and then yowl repeatedly until you let him back in and then repeat, so that you turn into a roman slave of letting him in and out constantly so he can stare at the wall outside the house. I doubt he will hunt IMHO.

We didn't know if ours would be but what was worse, him being run over or killed by a catapult or being safe in the back garden with toys to play with (when he wanted), bushes and warm places to snooze? He lived until he was 18 so we did something right.

I would not at all think the main risk is of theft. I have had pedigree cats for 30 years and used to worry about them being stolen but it has never happened. They have faced other severe risks though - traffic, dogs, and getting lost. If you want a cat to have a relatively 'natural' life then those are the risks you (and they) take. Some cats are happy being confined but your cat is not.

It sounds like he needs to go out.
I’m not ideologically against indoor cats like some people, because my cat refuses to go outside. She is the first cat I have had who is like this though. Most cats do seem to want to roam. I would let him out if he were mine and if he fucks off to someone else’s house so be it.

I wonder if your cat is on a forum where he's posted "I hate my slave! I did not sign up for this!"

Joking aside, the poor lad wants to go out. However make sure you've already covered some of the other ideas already posted, like making sure he's had some entertainment with you!

Let him out, he wants to be out.

IMO cats should never be indoor cats unless something is physically wrong or they don’t want to go.
Keeping any animal in a cage (house / cage all the same to me) is intolerably cruel.
Either don’t get a cat at all (too late in your case) or live somewhere with plenty of open green spaces and small quiet roads and let them out.
I would rather my cat lived 5 happy free years than 20 miserable ones looking oh the window, imprisoned in a human home fighting to get out.

I say let him out too. Having access to a catio or whatever doesn't provide the stimulation cats get from being free to roam. I have two cats (not pedigree) and one in particular is obsessed with going outdoors and always has been. If he can't get out he will cry and meow at me for hours.
I don't know what type of outdoors environment you have, but he might not even go that far. My cat is happy spending hours watching a compost heap or overgrowth in the hope that the mice will come out. The things he likes to do might not be available in a fenced in area.
The tracker idea sounds good for a Ragdoll.