I hate my cat. I did not sign up for this

[Ragcatdoll]

3 year old male ragdoll. Bought from reputable breeder as a kitten. Researched the breed before buying. Consensus was I was signing up for a “living breathing teddy bear who will follow you everywhere”.

Reality is an unfriendly bored cat whose only aim in life is to leave his home. He has a 3 storey house to explore. Cat trees. Multiple toys. His 3 year old sister from same litter to play with. Attention all day from my grown up DS who works from home and my DH.

Did I mention I spent 4k professionally cat proofing my garden which he has access to 24/7 via a cat flap? Still not happy.Sits by front door screaming day and night to go out. Tries everything to get out the front including leaping from 2nd floor window which he did on Saturday. I’ve had enough.

Hes spent all day crying at the front door to go outside even though he has a secure back garden!!

I can’t cope with him anymore. Didn’t sign up for this. Not sure what else I can do except let him go outside the front where we have a road, a quiet road, but a road none the less. All I see on social media are ragdolls who lay around the house sleeping all day quite content.

His sister is lovely, loves her back garden & is a content little thing. He on the other hand is making the whole family miserable,

just llsten to him and let him out the front door as soon as he yowls.

Then it's up to him. He wants to go out there, he wants to explore, to hunt, to be free. Ok. Off he goes. And hopefully he comes back. That's it. You can't do any more. Clearly he feels imprisoned in the garden that he can't get out of. So just let him roam, it's his natural instinct, bless him.

I have to say this thread makes a change. Usually people have a go at the OP for letting their cat out to roam whereas on this thread apparently the OP is wrong for cat proofing her garden!

You should have got 2 females, male cats want a much bigger territory. Didn't you do any research? Your cat probably hates you too.

You need a much much older cat if you want a male, one who has current preferences for lounging and not roaming.

I’m not a cat owner but it is in their nature to explore. I would let him out.

Not true. I felt the same and all my cats preciously have been free to wander. 4 years ago I got 2 rescue cats who had been used for breeding and always lived in a cage. The rescue told me they needed to be indoor cats. One had a serious heart condition and has since died. The other one simply can’t go out - not equipped. And she doesn’t want to either - she’ll sit inside the open back door but won’t go out unless I do.
Indoor cats are a pain because they are much more work than wanderers, but some need that security.

I have four cats, most of them are happy to be in either all the time or 90% of the time. One female cat just will not be kept in, she gets very distressed by not being allowed out, she tries to dig the floorboards up and scratches at the walls etc - the call of the wild is very strong in her. It does worry me to let her outside but on balance I think it is a risk that is worth it for her (she does come in at night).

Was he neutered young? I've heard but not sure it true that if they are neutered late and have had the hormone exposure they can still have some of the behaviours.

I had a cat that had been outdoor and then adapted to indoor, then readapted to outdoor when we moved to a very safe road. We had a tracker and she roamed quite far at first. However after getting chased by a spaniel and possibly other incidents she now only sits under our car out front and watches the world go by. I keep her in overnight and she is fine with that.
So it might be worth letting him out front and giving him a bit of a fright (not nice but may be the best compromise if he has freedom to go out there, but stays closer to home, so you worry less).

He will of course always be the wrong side of the door as he's a cat!

Worth trying the catsite .com too, as there are some super cat experts there

I let my male neutered ragdoll out. Vet agreed it was unkind to keep him in and I live in a quiet area.

He doesn't go far by choice. Hops the fence to neighbours either side but is quite often chilling on my lawn.

Mine hates the catflap though. I bought one for small dogs but I think it's still too small for him. He will use it as a last resort but prefers his slave to open the door for him.

Yes, this is what I do with my bog standard tabby boy. We rarely use the front door, preferring the back door, which is always open for him. But no! Only the front door will do. My DH slavishly gets the keys out and laboriously opens all the locks. Me? Pick him up and take him to the back door. He's 18 now and getting more and more demanding with age.

I can't decide until I see a photo of the cat.

Obviously I'm lying but still.

When you say you’ve spent £4000 cat-proofing your garden, what do you mean - is it that you’ve prevented him from exiting your garden? If so then that is the problem and, rather than let him out the front, just enable him to roam into other gardens.

IME cats never go far, but they do need to have the possibility of freedom and roaming and I think this is what is upsetting your cat. It would also be a lot safer than letting him out the front.

Cats don't care about your feelings lol

This really made me smile as we had a gorgeous giant maine coon and he used to do this too. Our dog was terrified of him and would stick to the wall giving him shifty side eye to get pass him on the stairs - it used to crack the kids up 😂

Another vote for just let him out.

Not liking an animal doesn't mean you'd be happy to find it writhing about in agony in a road having been hit by a vehicle, or stolen for unsavoury purposes, or abused by some idiot or dying in unbelievable pain having swallowed antifreeze etc etc

I’ve got a ragdoll that goes outside, she’s fine. She doesn’t go far but she isn’t friendly with strangers so she would run and hide anyway.

They aren’t all typical ragdolls, mine is as far from a lapcat as you can get although she follows me around. She’s a menace to my aim at a peaceful life quite frankly, poking me when I’m sleeping, constantly demanding attention but only on her terms🤪

We love her to bits and we forgive her because she’s a rescue but she’s a crap cat😜🤣

Just let yours out op, see how it goes.

There’s no such thing as a natural indoor cat. It’s wishful thinking by people who want or have indoor cats.

I have 3 cats, girls 7 and 3, Boy 2 years old.
They live in a large 3 bedroom house with garden which they can access 24/7 by catflap.

The younger 1 will often leave through the front door when it’s opened. I don't fret, as they are instinctively programmed to wonder. He without fail reappears at feeding time. The 2 girls did this too when they were younger, but after a couple of weeks of exploring they got bored I guess, and now happily stay within our boundary.

Even though they have the garden, cats have a natural instinct to explore the neighbourhood. Yes, I would prefer them to stay within the confines of my property, but I understand their need to roam.

All 3 are happy as can be, even more so when i installed a catflap into my bedroom door, as they would cry outside at 2am to get into my room and onto my bed.😬

Please let him out, allow him to explore. You never know, once he has satisfied his curiosity he may prefer the sanctuary of his home and garden.

I beg your pardon?!?

What are you interpreting as cruel about my post??(

Let him out fgs! I have a 20 year old cat who goes out and about quite happily still. It would have been a living death to keep him inside. Do you actually know anything about cats OP?

I mean, seriously, grow up for a start. And let the cat out. Obviously going outside presents risk but I would rather my cats were able to explore outside than be begging to be let out.

Let him out. We live next to a busy road. Our cat would be miserable cooped up inside.

You are miserable, he is miserable, the whole family is miserable. He is not going to change, that is his personality. Let him out for goodness sake and work on your anxiety.

I have an indoor cat. She is entirely an indoor cat. She stands in the open back door yelling at me when I'm out in the garden. She chose to be an indoor cat. Not all cats are created equally.

@Ragcatdoll What size is the cat flap? If your garden is secure, try a bigger doggy door. Ragdolls are nosey. Can you put high window perchs up so he can see out the front of the house?

Sooo many comments saying “but he wants to go out”…he goes out! The garden IS outside

My cat wants to eat soap and plastic, should I just let her do that because it’s what she wants to do, even though I know it isn’t safe for her?

Being trapped in a garden is still being trapped. It's not remotely comparable to roaming and exploring and hunting and establishing a territory.

I'd also argue that if your cat is eating soap and plastic, they're bored and channelling unnatural behaviours.