I hate my cat. I did not sign up for this

[Ragcatdoll]

3 year old male ragdoll. Bought from reputable breeder as a kitten. Researched the breed before buying. Consensus was I was signing up for a “living breathing teddy bear who will follow you everywhere”.

Reality is an unfriendly bored cat whose only aim in life is to leave his home. He has a 3 storey house to explore. Cat trees. Multiple toys. His 3 year old sister from same litter to play with. Attention all day from my grown up DS who works from home and my DH.

Did I mention I spent 4k professionally cat proofing my garden which he has access to 24/7 via a cat flap? Still not happy.Sits by front door screaming day and night to go out. Tries everything to get out the front including leaping from 2nd floor window which he did on Saturday. I’ve had enough.

Hes spent all day crying at the front door to go outside even though he has a secure back garden!!

I can’t cope with him anymore. Didn’t sign up for this. Not sure what else I can do except let him go outside the front where we have a road, a quiet road, but a road none the less. All I see on social media are ragdolls who lay around the house sleeping all day quite content.

His sister is lovely, loves her back garden & is a content little thing. He on the other hand is making the whole family miserable,

@colachive beautiful cat 😍😍

@MadKittenWoman what is that cross breed like we were looking into it

Hmmm. Cats are pretty savvy animals. Why not let him out? You could put a tracking device in his collar. I live on a busy enough street and there’s loads of cats that roam. My favourite is “Ginger Balls” (as me and the hubs have named him). He owns the street. Lies on everyone’s cars, suns himself in the footpath. He won’t even move when you encounter him, I have to walk round him!

It’s even more irresponsible to buy a cat and then insist on keeping it locked up inside your house 24/7.

IMO, illness and disability aside, if you’re not prepared to allow your cat to act like a cat and go out to roam and explore, you shouldn’t have one.

It’s the equivalent of getting a dog and never walking it, or buying a bird and locking it in a cage, or keeping a rabbit shut up in a hutch. It’s cruel.

What about keeping the cat safe? Should I have let mine out so the little bastards that catapult wildlife could get him when he was having a snooze? He had the run of the flat or the back garden and was safe from the local arseholes. They killed the male of a pair of Egyptian geese and tried to hit a woman and child so a cat having a sleep on the window sill would be fair game to them.

Hi, I have a Siberian cat so understand the hesitation letting them out. It's not just the road... Also more likely to be stolen etc (maybe you'd like that though 😆). If you're going to let him out maybe take him out on a lead around first so he doesn't get lost. We only adopted our indoor cat at 2 and the vet said to be very careful letting her out as no road sense etc

Obviously circumstances change and people have to adapt, but personally I wouldn’t get a cat knowing that I wouldn’t be able to let them out to live as natural a life as possible.

If your home area becomes unsafe or you have to move then of course a cat-proof garden is better than nothing and many cats will adapt just fine - but I can’t agree that it’s kind to do what OP is doing - keeping a miserable, stressed cat locked up indoors for potentially another 15 years is just cruel.

Either the cat needs to go outside or if it’s unsafe, then it should be re-homed somewhere where it can get outside.

I wouldn’t say the area is unsafe in general, it’s just a feral minority. I live in hope that the little bastards fall in the river and drown while they are catapulting the wildlife but sadly not so far.

Anyway I digress - as you can tell it’s a pet hate of mine! I am planning on getting another cat ASAP and will be keeping the cat in the cat proofed garden. I’m looking for an older one who doesn’t want to roam or one who is FIV+. The cat proofing also keeps the neighbours cats out of my garden - I don’t mind clearing up after my own but I don’t want everyone else’s cat!

One thing I don’t understand about this thread is usually on a cat thread posters are whinging about roaming cats, how owners are inconsiderate for letting them roam etc. etc. This thread is the complete opposite!

One thing I don’t understand about this thread is usually on a cat thread posters are whinging about roaming cats, how owners are inconsiderate for letting them roam etc. etc. This thread is the complete opposite!

I think the first few responses often set the tone for the thread.

But also, MN has a rather small (but vocal) group of people who hate cats (and dogs!) and if they get hold of a thread, other people can't even get a word in, lol.

That is exactly what my Vet says. She tells her receptionist this, as she has two ‘house cats’. We are in the UK, so don’t have to worry about predators. I have had Siamese cats for 43 years. I had a 10 year period without them. After I lost one, I moved to a house on a fairly busy road. I planned to move again to a house in a quiet area for cars, with a garden. I have always let my cats out. Over the 43 years, two (out of about 20 cats) have been killed by a cars and that was horrible. My vet told me better a shorter happy life, than a long neurotic one. From what I can tell, by the age of 2, they tend to have gained ‘street smarts’ and understand about cars. Of course it cannot be entirely risk free outside for a cat, but it isn’t for humans either.

Very very annoying to have a miserable distressed cat. What on earth is he so miserable about. Seems as though he isn’t happy at all. Must be a him problem.

maybe let him out.

For what it's worth I'm very much pro indoor cats but if they are miserable and just trying to escape all the time then I don't think it's fair for anyone to live in that situation. After exhausting all options to try keep them as an indoor cat I would end up letting them out even though that comes with a risk. I think not doing is cruel but I understand it comes from a place of love and wanting to protect them.

I found I was more frustrated and anxious when I was trying to convert my cats into indoor/garden cats than I was when they were allowed out again and they were too. Their stressed behaviour was stressing me out, my stress was likely stressing them out so it was a vicious cycle. Once I gave up and took the cat proofing down everybody calmed down and they were quite happy to spend time inside whereas before they just wouldn't settle, especially one of them. She was so desperate to get out that she would climb upside down to get over the cat proofing and it was really hard getting her back in again. Typical when she was the one who got hurt and made me do the cat proofing in the first place but that's cats for you!

Let the poor cat out!
Mine is the same all he wants to do is roam...
I would never keep him in.
With a cat you have to take the lead from them.

UPDATE - situation going from bad to worse. At my wits end now. Bought a GPS tracker & cat has been going out. I let him out in the morning and afternoon for an hour or so. Keep him in after 4.

The man whose house is behind mine has just shouted at me over the garden wall. Very rude and aggressive. Said my cat has been in his house and he had to chase him out. I apologised. He was really unpleasant and quite nasty. I apologised repeatedly but he said I need to stop my cat going in his garden.

Don’t know what to do now. Obviously can’t let cat out again but keeping him inside means back to original problems. Only thing I can think to do is try and rehome him. So so down about it all.

Not having an easy time either of you!

I would be wary of letting him out after that too...

Have you tried "catifying" your house with walkways and do you have a wheel he can run in? Obviously these things are expensive and might not solve the problem but it could be worth considering?

Your neighbour is BU. He is welcome to cat proof his garden or buy a cat scarer ( they don't work btw... It annoys me more than the cat).

I would ask neighbour how he suggests you achieve A cat not going into HIS garden. Our neighbour is actually plagued by cats who avoid our garden but ours gets the blame for the poop. Our cat tends to use a litter box so it's almost definitely not hers (and the sheer volume suggests she isn't capable of producing it!)

If he shoos the cat, I'm sure yours will get the message. It sounds like your cat is loving being outside.

Your neighbour is an arsehole. Ignore him and try not to get so upset by him, cat's are free spirits and can't be controlled, it's literally the law.

The cat probably won't try and go in his house again if he shouts and carries on at it. So that problem will probably sort itself out.

I say give the cat a week or two to get used to his newfound freedom. Things will be fine, give it a chance.

I don't agree with this at all, are you in England? What wildlife are you talking about - mice and rats and robins? This isn't Australia, with its native wildlife unevolved to deal with European predators...

well actually, yes, i am from Australia

Cats are allowed to roam.
However I'd be worried about kitty and safety with the man.
Can you go with kitty to his house and spray him and see if that helps deter?

Don’t think the man will take kindly to being sprayed!