I hate my cat. I did not sign up for this

[Ragcatdoll]

3 year old male ragdoll. Bought from reputable breeder as a kitten. Researched the breed before buying. Consensus was I was signing up for a “living breathing teddy bear who will follow you everywhere”.

Reality is an unfriendly bored cat whose only aim in life is to leave his home. He has a 3 storey house to explore. Cat trees. Multiple toys. His 3 year old sister from same litter to play with. Attention all day from my grown up DS who works from home and my DH.

Did I mention I spent 4k professionally cat proofing my garden which he has access to 24/7 via a cat flap? Still not happy.Sits by front door screaming day and night to go out. Tries everything to get out the front including leaping from 2nd floor window which he did on Saturday. I’ve had enough.

Hes spent all day crying at the front door to go outside even though he has a secure back garden!!

I can’t cope with him anymore. Didn’t sign up for this. Not sure what else I can do except let him go outside the front where we have a road, a quiet road, but a road none the less. All I see on social media are ragdolls who lay around the house sleeping all day quite content.

His sister is lovely, loves her back garden & is a content little thing. He on the other hand is making the whole family miserable,

Don’t listen to advice here about letting him out. They are not ragdoll owners. Ragdolls are not like normal cats and don’t have street smarts. Post in a ragdoll group for advice like Ragdolls UK on fb, not here.

My first thought is take him to a vet. He might be stressed, does your insurance cover a behavioural therapist?

mumsnet is not the place for advice when so few people will have any experience of Ragdolls

Some cats need to roam. I had a British blue who was desperate until allowed out of the garden, then perfectly happy and stayed close to home.

Why on earth don't you let it out?

I would let him out too.

When my cat was younger she somehow got herself run over so that was it, her and her sister confined to the house and homemade cat proofed garden. It was absolute hell, all she did was escape, if somehow she couldn't she would sit and yowl at doors and windows and wee everywhere instead of the litter trays. She fought with her sister until everyone was so miserable that I gave up and let them out.

When we moved she lasted a week before she was desperate to go out and she started weeing everywhere again so we gave her a couple of days on a lead to get her familiar then out she went.

10 years later she's less of an outdoor cat now, rarely goes out but I can guarantee if I tried to keep her in all hell would break loose.

Some cats just can't be kept inside and ultimately it's better to have a happy cat than a miserable one. It's not always guaranteed they will get stolen/run over and it's the same with kids. We have to take a deep breath and let them go and hope they return in one piece and really kids can get into way more trouble than a cat can!

Try baby steps, harness and walks for now and see how you get on. If he still wants to go out then he's familiar with his area from the harness walking so less likely to get lost.

Why wouldn't you just let him out then? So much drama over nothing.

I have two pedigree cats whom I let put despite having a very large house as I think it's cruel keeping them in. They never leave the garden.

My boy cat would probably smother me in my sleep if I put him in a harness. I’m also watching girl cat prowl around the garden climbing on and off the garage roof chasing goodness knows what. They need stimulation and exercise. And I have lived in a mouse-infested house pre-cats, so I’m very pleased when the cats catch mice.

He sounds like my colleagues cat. Also a rag doll. We call him asbo cat. She had to shut him in and escape proof her garden otherwise he goes around the neighbourhood bullying and attacking all the other cats. She’s had legal letters put through her letterbox from neighbours trying to claim vet bills from where he’s attacked them. She’s also been sent photos and videos of him getting into other people’s houses through the car flap and attacking their cats in their own homes!

Multiple ragdoll owners have posted on here about how they let their cats out.

Ragdolls aren't some special breed that are too fragile for the big wide world.

He's a cat, and regardless of the breed, he wants to go out. Cats are not meant to be indoors all the time. Let him go. Get yourself a bloody teddy bear.

Have had cats for the past 44 years - all of them were allowed out

Just let the poor thing out.

Some cats may be content to stay at home, but some will be in for an absolutely miserable life. And they'll make sure you join them in their misery 🤣

No - get it! I love animals but sometimes you encounter a horrible one. My neighbour's cat just would not stop weeing on her bed, whatever she did.

That would make me hate a cat.

Try plug in Feliway it's meant to help de-stress cats. We used it in the past before DD was born and when we moved away, seemed to work.

OP I understand completely as I feel the same about my beautiful boy but we use Tractive GPS collars and they are a godsend. He also doesn’t really go very far and the neighbours know him as he’s so distinctive, so everybody keeps an eye out for him!

I was just going to suggest this!

Our cat (just a domestic shorthair) kept sneaking out the front door, once he's seen what's actually there he's not interested anymore.

Pretty sure the cat didnt sign up to spend its short life jailed either.

I had a Persian at one time and she was like that. I let her out she wouldn’t go past the property line meowed to be let back in. Try it and see what happens. I wish you luck with your master.

They are known to be an indoor cat due to the way they’ve been bred and I said few people, not none. So I’m suggesting she get advice specific to Ragdolls instead of a load of replies saying how cruel it is to have indoor cats

I'm not a massive believer in breed traits in cats - they're all generally the same in my experience. Yes, some will be wilder than others, and some more placid, but at the end of the day, they're still cats and still need to be able to practise their natural behaviours.

Our two exotic shorthairs roam for miles! They are meant to be house cats 😂 Personally I think all cats should be allowed to roam.

Do the poor cat a favour and perhaps take him to a vet first to be checked for any underlying issues. They are living things not toys - he is clearly distressed and he will be feeling it from you too. I would seriously think about contacting a rescue to see if he can be rehomed because it's not working out for you and it isn't fair on him. Stress can make them ill and they can get UTI conditions from stress.

Which is why I wouldn’t take advice from you on how to keep my little dumb dumbs safe

This. I'm sorry to be harsh, but you should have done more research on cats' instinctive drive to roam. It's really cruel.

The reason he's crying is because he's desperately unhappy.

That's why moggies are better than expensive breeds 🤷🏼‍♀️ nobody wants to steal my cat. Let the cat roam. It's in their nature.

I hate my cat.

For being a cat and wanting to do cat things.

His sister is lovely, loves her back garden & is a content little thing. He on the other hand is making the whole family miserable,

Because she complies to your idea of what a cat should want?

How is wanting to go outside 'making the whole family miserable'?

You sound dramatic, entitled, unempathetic and an utterly shit cat owner.

Let the poot thing out FFS. Hopefully he'll find a better owner and never come back.

I'd like to see someone try with ours. I know who would come off worse and it would be a doctor they'd need, not a vet!

(Also moggies)