Does anyone else struggle with the concept of death?

[CrazyOldMe]

I just don't understand death.

I don't get how a whole personality can just disappear suddenly, leaving nothing material behind.

The fact that I, my loved ones, plus everyone on this planet will die, is just incomprehensible to me!

Anyone else feel like this?

The brain can't comprehend death. It lives on for about 7 minutes flipping through our memories trying to find something to compare it to. Releasing a chemical so we don't feel frightened while it does it. The studies are fascinating.

I don't fear death. I hope we get to meet past loved ones on the other side or whatever it is but I can't stress over something I don't have any control over.

Everyone I’ve ever been close to who has died, I still feel them with me all the time. That gives me comfort that when I die I’ll still be around. Not as a ghost or whatever, but as a presence in the lives of the people who remember me. I also always think that wherever we are when we die it’s the same place we were before we were born. My children seemed pretty livid for the first few months after they were born which makes me think the other place is maybe better!

When I think about it I get quite freaked out by my head and thoughts not existing. That I’ll just stop and I won’t even know it? Then the world just goes on and there’s nothingness anymore… I won’t exist and I won’t know it so what will I be doing? I go round in circles trying to understand how I just won’t BE anymore.

Yes, I can't think about it too long otherwise I get full on palpitations x

I used to be terrified, but since I came to know the Lord Jesus Christ I know that I will be with Him for eternity after death and that brings immense comfort.

See, I would have worded OP's point exactly as she did... but this is the bit that gets me.

The real question is, why do you exist NOW?

If you didn't exist before, why do you exist at all? Where/how do you go from amorphous clay 'nothingness', atoms with no intent, thought, emotions, etc, to something that dreams?

I don't have an answer. This is just where my mind goes.

I'm the exact same and death really weirds me out. I don't understand how one minute someone can be there and then they are just gone. It's not like I haven't been around dead bodies too as I've seen grandparents shortly after dying as in our culture you have them laid out and the family washes them and dresses them and visits, but it's just something I can't participate in, it really makes me feel ill.

You’ve articulated how I felt perfectly. I was never able to put the feeling into words but this is exactly it.

Really? Do you know what this is called?

I do sometime wonder what is the point of it all.

A lifetime of education/learning, working all those years, illness, stress, birthing and bringing up kids, all the funerals attended until you finally pop off.

All that is left of you is memories, then 100 years later you aren't even remembered at all beyond being an entry in someone's family tree.

I think about my wonderful grandparents, what they looked like, what they laughed at etc but once I'm gone, no one will know who they were beyond their names engraved onto a headstone.

Given that i nearly didn't survive being born 3 months prematurely, I cherish life now. It's obviously a very precious thing, but moreso as if I'd not survived, I'd be not appreciating living now

I know this sounds quite twee and mawkish but it's always made me appreciate life a bit more. I remember nearly wiping myself out crossing the road once too, and if it hadn't been for my friend grabbing me, I'd likely to have been seriously injured. That was before my DC, and it scares me if I think too deeply about it all, knowing they'd not exist if I'd died crossing the road.😫😳

I used to struggle with it but as I’ve got older, I’ve sort of come to accept it I guess.

Your own death isn’t hard for you at the end of the day is it, you won’t know! It’s for those around you that have to deal with the grief. I’m struggling with the loss of my dbro and it’s really hard. I grieve for the life he should have had and his family should have had with him in it. It makes me angry.

For me though, I don’t fear death, I just want my dses to be settled and grown enough to cope.

When my dses were very little I had cervical cancer and I faced my own mortality then. At the time I was terrified of dying and thought I just wanted to make it until my dses were 18, they were 1 and 3 at the time. Now they are young adults and I still think they are too young to cope if anything were to happen to me! Maybe I’ll always think that!!

I watched my mother die a really traumatic death. It was horrendous. However, she was just a shell. It really affected me as it was a horrible way to die and I researched where consciousness goes. I truly believe now that we don't just die but we get absorbed into the universe.
I don't believe in a God or an idol but there is something within energy.

Sort of glad I clicked on this as there are some beautiful and wise posts I’ve enjoyed.

It absolutely terrifies me. It’s also so so much worse since I had my children. I can’t stand the thought of my mum and dad dying so the prospect of my babies losing their grandparents and their dad and me is so awful it makes me feel physically ill.

I don’t want to miss everything that’ll come after me. I don’t want to ever not be here. I love my life, my surroundings, my loved ones. I don’t want to give it up. When I hear of people being calm and dignified at the end I can’t understand it, I can’t see myself accepting it should I see it coming, I’ll be very undignified, scared, angry, resentful, unreasonable 😂

We do talk about it, DH and I have wills, life insurance guardianship stuff for the kids, papers are in order. But I’m just pretending I’m okay with it, I’m not.

My feelings on it are that we live on in the memories of the people who love us, and in the way that we've shaped their lives.

I lost my mum when I was 21 and my dad when I was 28. I don't believe in souls or an afterlife, but I see everyday the little mannerisms and traditions that are enmeshed in my actions and behaviours,that I'm passing onto my daughter and sharing with my friends, my husband, my colleagues at work. I see them being picked up in subtle ways and blended with other peoples behaviours, absorbed and passed on subconsciously.

I know that my daughter is having happy experiences that she'll remember, value and want to repeat, because they're experiences I was given by my parents that I look back on with joy. Simple things like picnics of chicken drumsticks, boiled eggs, cucumber rounds and penguin bars at a popular park in our city, of going to Clarks the weekend before back to school to get feet measured and new shoes, then stopping for a cream cake on the way back to the car, of waking up on Xmas morning to a full stocking hanging on the door knob and taking it into mum and dads bed to open before heading down to see the presents under the tree.......

Yes, life is strange. As a Catholic, I believe in judgement day before our Creator when we die. I am a bit afraid of that judgement but I'm looking forward to checking out of this life as life is a tiring struggle.

Some people don't believe in a soul. If we call it 'energy' instead, where does the energy that was driving a person go? You can see that energy/life force in a living person. When people die, its gone. Where did the person/life energy go? It has to go somewhere.

I can’t grasp the concept of what’s afterwards . Like whilst on earth you can just think well there’s always tomorrow but what happens when all the tomorrows have gone .

it frequently messes with my brain , I can’t process it .

Omg yes this is me..ever since I was a child I have a fear of death for myself and all my loved ones.. I just don't want them or me to not exist
The thoughts of knowing nothing , being nothing and six foot under rotting makes me distraught
It’s something I think about every day since I was a kid and I'm in my fifties now..the older I get and the older my parents get the fear really does consume me.. I look around at people sometimes and I think we're all going to die we won't be here in x amount of years
And so it goes on without us.. I try to block it out and distract myself it’s too much sometimes

Nobody knows though, do they? We're all just here by chance because of billions of years of evolution.

I doubt anyone will ever know why.

My Dad has terminal leukemia and has chosen to spend his time with family and friends, instead of invasive useless treatments. It's incredibly hard but also quite uplifting.we spent our day sorting out his entry for a family competition. An awful lot of fun

This is beautiful ❤️

I really needed to read that. Thank you

I'm having a full on anxiety attack reading this thread, I hate it. Sitting here with my daughter. Gahh.

I don't fear death, my Mum died last year and seeing her body just proved to me that she was gone.. if there is a small even one percent chance of seeing her again whenever I die even if it's just fleeting or my subconscious then that is something I can never achieve in life so it's something that gives me comfort now.

Yes. It must be every night that I think about the fact I will die and spiral out! I find it so hard to comprehend that one day I'll have thoughts and the next I'll be gone. Even from minute to minute. I struggle a lot with not knowing when I'll go. But then, I don't think I'd want a date for my diary!

I think a lot of our fear, which is completely natural, comes from not wanting to die young or before we're 'ready'. I think we might all feel very differently when we look back on a good and full life. At least, that's what I tell myself.

(I realise my fear is a little on the 'needs help' side of things. I have that help, don't worry)