When is it okay to hold baby in the air? Told off at baby playgroup

[GuiltyGiraffe]

Hi, feeling very guilty and wondering if I've accidentally caused some damage to my baby!

My baby is 4 months old and we have been going to a baby group for the past few weeks. This morning we were there and I was holding my baby above my head and lifting her up and down. She thinks it's great fun and smiles the whole time.

One of the women who runs the playgroup told me to stop and that my baby was too little for that. This was in front of everyone and it was very embarrassing. Think I turned quite red! And now I feel guilty that I may have been damaging her neck?

I've only started doing it the past week or so. Definitely not when she was a floppy newborn. She has good neck control and holds her own head up. To be clear, I'm not throwing her in the air, like some people do with older babies! She never leaves my hands and it's a slow and controlled up and down.

Is this really bad?

This is the only thing that really makes my baby smile and giggle… the woman was being ridiculous!!

It sounds fine to me. Playgroup woman sounds bossy and interfering.

You would know if the baby didn’t like it and as you say she’s got good neck control and you’re not throwing her in the air yet!

My baby is exactly the same age. I’ve been doing this for a few weeks at least. His neck is controlled now, but it is also strengthening his neck. I’ve never been told not to. I’m sure baby is fine! Ignore her.

I’m sure you were very gentle with her. Ignore that silly woman.

Find a new playgroup. She sounds unhinged.

She is nuts. As long as you don't jolt them it's fine. Mine loved it.

Honestly people like that need to catch onto themselves. You could have made a superhuman effort to get yourself and your baby out to the group. Being told off is hardly supportive and I hope it won’t put you off going again (or to a different group entirely if one is available).

Oh gosh I'm sorry OP what an awful woman and what a horrible thing to do to embarrass a mum at a baby group. She's chatting shit of course you wouldn't be trying to hurt your baby, my second born likes to be swung from side to side held under his arms. Hope you are okay, I'd be minded to send a message to whoever runs the group letting them know this person has an awful manner

You did nothing wrong!

Just be careful you don't get a face full of puke from a jiggled baby! Ask me how I know...

I was just about to say this !

Woman’s a fruitcake. I’d be looking for a new playgroup.

Sorry she made you feel bad.

Playgroup woman is mad. Ignore.

If they can support their head then all good

Agree she sounds nuts. My only advice to you is make sure you close your mouth whilst doing it...

Thank you everyone! That's very reassuring!

And yeah, definitely not after she's just been fed 😂

Watch out for the dribble too, mine got me in the eye this morning 🤢😂

The playgroup woman was completely unprofessional and I'd be raising this with her superiors over how she made you feel and I'd also be looking for a new group. It really isn't okay - like PP have said, for some mums, it takes a lot of courage to go there in the first place and then to have this harridan get on her high horse........ if she had genuine concerns, she should have come over to you and discussed it with you - not humiliated you!
I bet the other mothers were probably horrified at her unprofessional behaviour and probably all felt for you.
I hope you're okay x

It helps me tremendously to have phrases ready for things like that. For ex, when someone tries to interfere with your parenting choices: "I've got it, X (interferer's name here)." "We're fine, thanks." "That's my call."'

What I would not do is offer any explanation or defend your choice because that is making it like she has a rightful place in that decision, when she does not.

However, not responding is at all a good choice too, especially when you're caught off guard.

Ah yes, stringy dribble, I remember it well!

try not to feel too bad @GuiltyGiraffe doesn’t sound like did anything wrong. Enjoy those baby smiles and giggles

U should’ve embarrassed her and told her to bugger off

I do that with my four month old. Surely as long as they have good head control it’s fine?

Wee oo wee oo it's the baby police 🚔

My son had great head control and was a nosy bugger from day one, so I had him front facing in the sling from about four months if he wasn't sleeping. He loves to hold a finger in each fist.

Some nosy, sanctimonious cow in the park had the audacity to point me out and say loudly, "now that's really not supposed to be done at that age".

Crazy! I took my 4 month old to a group yesterday and one of the bits in a song the action was you lifted them above your head, everyone did it with their babies older and younger