2 year old walking the street by herself feel so sick

[Cantthinkofonenow]

I went to the shop with my 6 year old son and my nearly 3 year old daughter was home with her dad. When I was coming home from the shop round the corner I saw loads of people outside my house so I ran home wondering what had happened. My little girl had tried to follow me to the shop but I had gone another way, and got all the way to the end of the street and even crossed the road before a nice couple picked her up and she told them where she lived. I feel so sick and furious with her dad and like a terrible parent. I can’t believe he didn’t notice she had gone. I can’t stop thinking she might have gone with the wrong person. I feel terrible

You can sort this potential issue by keeping a key nearby on a hook or in a container.

We lock our main front door from the inside every night.

Excuse me?

Good grief what a distasteful post and irrelevant to the topic

We used to live in a house with a communal green on an estate. I thought DH took our toddler back inside with him and he thought I was staying out with both of our kids. Nothing bad happened but for 5 mins neither of us were watching our toddler and we never made the same mistake again. Don’t be too hard on yourselves.

Don’t blame her dad necessarily. We were all at home in the garden when our two year old grandchild slipped inside and locked herself in the house. Luckily we had a ladder and an upstairs bathroom was open. Luckily your daughter was safe and you will get a better lock.

I presume they hadn't got the wit to read your updates that you had indeed told the dad that little one was staying behind with him.

JFC, what a ghoul.

I think without more information about what actually happened it is impossible for us to know whose ‘fault’ this accident was, op. Often when someone is told eg don’t run, the message can just be heard as run, it’s better to say , walk. In this case op if you said to your ds I’m not taking dd, did he actually hear, I’m taking dd, did he not realise you were talking to him as opposed to your dd, or did he hear & then forget about her. We are unable to know from the little you have told us. Did you clarify that he’d actually heard. Did he answer you?
Whichever it was, I’m sure nothing like this will ever happen again & it is something to be learnt from.

Ignore this person. Full of rubbish.
There's a lot on here atm who are trolling and/or trying to make women feel bad. MN has been a target for a while.

Your husband was negligent and although your daughter is okay, it could possibly have not been the case.

The fact that he isn't mortified and apologetic is concerning.

Have you actually read some of the replies on here like only a man can make a mistake? The point is it can happen to anyone so maybe give the man bashing a rest.

The exact same thing happened to me many years ago. Slightly different in that I was distracted talking to my MIL at the time; didn't realise my 3 yr old son had worked out how to open the front door. Next thing he had toddled over the road (not main but not a cut de sac either) and onto the other side. I was mortified. He's still alive and now 'adulting' in his own home with his DP. Shit happens.

How is it distasteful? It is factual that anyone can make a mistake and not notice a toddler wander off it’s relevant because the thread is jam packed with man bashing.

@PhyllisWallet it’s his attitude that is part of the problem. If this had happened on either mine or DH’s watch we would have felt dreadful. His excuse that he thought toddler had gone with mum was bollocks ad she expressly told him she wasn’t taking her. So he was in the wrong for not noticing and then lying instead of feeling dreadful.

All is well that ends well.
You have had a fright, and your husband too.

Learn from it ..
To secure your door and garden gate.
To communicate with spouse, precisely, that they alone now have Missthree until you get back. A misunderstanding can occur easily. For example - Freddy and I are off to the shops, see ya. And sometimes Missthree tags along and sometimes not etc etc but has previously always stayed inside.
To assume that Missthree is adventurous, an escapee and a runner. (We have one who is less trustworthy than the others.)

I was just going to post this my Dad's door is the same and 2 year old can fiddle it open. I always say make sure the car is in front of the door on the double drive to break his dash into the road if he was to get to the door.
They are to make it easier for fire safety in newer houses.
Thank goodness DD is ok.

FFS, are people really so lacking in reading and comprehension?
OP told her DH she wasn't taking the nearly 2 year old out with her.
So he should have been watching her.
It doesn't matter if the child can open the stairgate, front door or Pandora's box. He was supposed to be watching her because she told him she wasn't taking the youngest child with her.

Unless he's a useless dad, these things happen.

Instead of "I'll take her everywhere with me" ......
Why not come up with a sure way of making sure you confirm it and lock the door or he comes and locks the door as you leave.

Mums have forgotten their kids in prams, in the car, at home etc.

Just because it's a man, it's cries of off with his head!

Oh god I did this nearly 60 yrs ago. My mum took my brother in his pram to my granny's and I was left home with dad.
I decided I wanted my mum so let myself out.... I was found by a lady with a Dalmatian who recognised me and took me to granny's.

My daughter did a similar thing 20 yrs later - let herself out and ended up in the middle of the village square . I found her surrounded by locals who were watching her do a little song and dance...

Bloody kids!

Can you fit a door alarm that sounds when the door opens?

I'd hate to have a lock like yours, Op.
What if your three year old decided to go out to look for kittens etc?
You should not have to have your eyes on a child at all times when at home cooking, attending to pets, sleeping etc.

I would be going fucking nuclear if that was my husband. I (can unfortunately) can’t believe some of the responses saying it wasn’t his fault or minimising it. You TOLD him you were leaving her with him. I’m sorry if some think this is over the top but I’d never leave her with him again. Or better yet get rid of him full stop. How on earth was he ignoring her presence to the point she left the house, did he not even realise she was gone??? What could have been more important than looking after his own daughter? She’s THREE. She could easily have been injured, lead off by a stranger or much much worse. JFC.

He wasn't listening to you at all, he needs to answer to you because this was his fault and it's pure luck your DD was OK and found safe, we all know the many things this could have ended up a tragedy and he needs to explain himself and apologise otherwise how can you trust him with their safety?

I think this is on both of you too.

You to a lesser extent, but ultimately you’re her parent too and are also responsible for her. You knew before leaving that:

• she could open the door,
• she can open stair gates,
• you couldn’t bolt the door as you were on the outside
• the door doesn’t accept keys

You said all that above? Where was she when you left, was she with him or left to her own devices? He obviously could have played the safeguarding role by supervising her, given her age.

I don’t understand how a situation arises where each of you assumes she is with the other parent but no one has checked and ensured that. Both of you knew there was some risk of her following you out, it just called for extra diligence as a parent.

He also seems like a deadbeat, so you now need to make a decision about whether he’s a capable parent and is safe to remain in the household. Like if you genuinely feel strongly about his ability to look after the children then you should reconsider the relationship.

Op has updated that she told her partner she wasn't taking the 2yr old.