Inconsequential things people say that ^really^ disproportionately and irrationally piss you off.

[JanetSaysYouGotTidyHair]

My mum jokingly calls me a "tight arse" and it really, really makes me want to throw things. I'm not a tight arse. I love Iceland Food Warehouse. I love charity shops. I love Savers. I love vinted. I love a bargain. None of this makes me a tight arse.

Another one is concerning my home office which is in a converted outhouse in my garden. It make me absolutely murderous when people ask "Isn't it cold?" like I didn't employ a professional builder, didn't get it fully insulated, didn't get good heating installed.

Both of these things happened today. And my period unexpectedly arrived. I want to throw things and hurt people.

Tell me what other completely inane, inconsequential things people say that make you want to throw things and hurt people.

Ugh yes, and in a similar vein when men (it's always men) look at me and pull the corners of their mouth upwards then look at me expecting a smile. 😡I've got a touch of what some would call 'resting bitch face' but I don't love that expression either. I try to look friendly and approachable when it matters. But no, random bloke, I do not owe you a perennially smiling countenance.

And specific to here but I irrationally hate it when people post their one line opinion on something and then just put discuss. Makes me feel like I've been set an exam question.

I think oranges are the best fruit.
Discuss.

I always want to put back no, shan't in the style of Emily Blunt in The Devil Wears Prada.

Ahh yes, and " - go!" instead of "please". "Best hotels in Venice - and go!"

On the Cubs WhatsApp group: "Sorry I can't take my turn volunteering this week, Brian's working away so I'm a single parent".
Well I don't have a fucking Brian, I've been a single parent for 14 years and always volunteer when I'm supposed to, so you take your turn Susan 🙄

"Thanks for being so flexible/understanding" following a request for me to do something extra, usually at work.
How about waiting till I've agreed to do it before thanking me? I'm not actually fooled, I know it's a demand rather than a request, I know I don't really have the option to refuse, and it sounds looks like fakeness and manipulation. I'd prefer them to be upfront, and then thank me when I've complied. Or even not thank me.

If you have nothing to hide, then you have nothing to fear

Such am utterly stupid and dangerous thing to say, especially now, given the current world climate, and even just looking to the world’s recent historical past.

I was a university lecturer and was often told I wasn't living in the 'real world'.

Well if it wasn't real, then I wasted 10 years talking to an empty room.....😮

I really hate it when people say they have a side hustle!

I had something similar; work colleagues had a collection for a wedding present for me; quite a bit was collected, one of them said patronisingly "You ARE lucky!" I thought "No, people like me, they wouldn't have given otherwise!!"

When talking about presents, people who say “I got (this) off”. No. You received it from. Grrrr

Sorry…I’m sorry or something with the word sorry. This may be an American thing but I refuse to say it. It truly is so reflexive ( I’m made that word up) I’m not sorry I’m busy I’m not sorry you had to wait I’m not sorry I forget to pack your gloves I’m not sorry you are unhappy with the registration staff. If I make a mistake I prefer to say…my apologies. I have a senior serious healthcare role and yet am expected to say I’m sorry as a way to smooth things over with my patients. I think sorry is meaningless

"People have been saying"
I lost it with my neighbour this week after my tree fell down in storm and blocked access..
So I texted back:
"Who are these people?
FFS, can't they come to my door and say to me?
And then I said, "Is it you who's been saying?".
Felt good to call them out.

Or… after asking if someone had a nice birthday being told “yeh, she done really well” ie lots of gifts from people. Sounds fucking grabby and entitled

"I've got mental health"

No. You mean that you have poor mental health.

"Have you lost weight?" No, skinny woman at the gym (who's said the same thing to me every time I see her in the class for the last ten years) I haven't. Stop scrutinising my bloody body thinking you're being kind/paying me a compliment that I don't need 🤦‍♀️

People saying they were gifted something.
I know it's not bad English but it enrages me.

Ooh aren't you small?!

Oh me too. I see this a lot on MN - gift and holiday as verbs. Like you said, I know its grammatically correct but I absolutely hate these phrases. I can't explain why.

I have a resting miserable face and people occasionally said this to me. A neighbour said "cheer up, might never happen" . My mum had just died and I took nasty pleasure in telling neighbour. I hope she felt awful and never said it again.

My SIL always has to disagree with me about DD2 but in a patronising way.

'Oh of course shes not lactose intolerant, you'd know about it if she was, she's definitely not, she's fine!' - I'm not buying the super expensive tiny tins of LF formula formula for fun??

When DP brought up DD2 eye issues, SIL told me I'm so silly to worry and babies shake their eyes and have one giant blown out pupil when they're trying to focus... (specialist says otherwise but what do they know?!)

And said to me by my ex and also a parent at my job (nursery teacher) 'oh I wish I had an easy sit down job like you!'

People saying about a baby being “ good” as if by crying, they are being naughty. Actually I hate it being said to or about older children too. “ Be good for Granny”. Oh, also can’t stand Granny or Nanny!

Yes! Or a "friendly reminder" or even worse "I am kindly reaching out". All passive aggressive bollocks that means I usually respond with a very terse email.

Makes me think of drug dealing or some other illegal activity.

Great thread OP - finding it quite therapeutic!

Absolutely this! I have to whizz past those threads so I don't accidentally post a smart-arse reply.