Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

So embarrassed, can’t stop cringing 🙈 period related

78 replies

User7288339 · 23/01/2025 19:48

I know no one can say anything to help, but I just need to get this out as obviously can’t tell anyone!

boyfriend/DP of 18 months was over at lunchtime, due to kids etc we meet up at lunchtime when we’re both wfh and have sex.
There’s a lot more to the relationship than that but we both really enjoy that part! We’re in our 40s. First proper relationship for us both after long marriages.

Basically my period started and I didn’t realise until afterwards 🙈 🙈

there were marks on my (freshly changed, WHITE) bedding.

He’d fingered me a lot and…. Gone down on me 🙈 🙈
he said he didn’t notice

we don’t normally sleep together when I’m on my period, talked about it early on and he’s not really up for that. Nor am I when I have it fully but when it’s very light at the beginning or the end don’t mind intercourse, but he prefers it to be totally gone, fair enough no worries.

It was so embarrassing when I realised. He was nice about it of course but I could tell he was slightly horrified, immediately washed his hands thoroughly and he doesn’t usually.

I know it’s just one of those things but I can’t believe I didn’t realise ☹️, didn’t have the usual signs and only had my last one 3 weeks ago and a couple of days so it’s slightly early.

can’t stop cringing about it ☹️

OP posts:
VividBlue · 23/01/2025 19:49

Oh well, he’s presumably a grown man? I’m sure he’ll get over it.

Original poster
User7288339 · 23/01/2025 19:54

He will of course. He’s been communicative and messaging like normal this afternoon, BUT WILL I?!

OP posts:
Itrytobesensible · 23/01/2025 19:55

I don't see why you should feel so embarrassed.
You are both adults and you both know about menstruation: it's a natural function of a woman's body.
If you are not embarrassed to have sex with this man why should you be embarrassed that your period had started? It makes no sense.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Women's health
VividBlue · 23/01/2025 19:58

I can’t believe you are in your 40s and not a teenager. Has nothing like this happened before? 🤨

Original poster
User7288339 · 23/01/2025 20:03

No, I don’t think so.
Never had sex with my period without realising.

i was with my husband since quite young, he was the first person I’d slept with: then a couple of casual things after we separated and now this. My xH was more relaxed about us doing it towards the end of my period, but he never went down on me anyway, I think I’d be feeling less awkward about it if it had just been intercourse.

can no one understand why I feel embarrassed about it?

I know it’s natural but it’s also not something I’d particularly want to expose other people to.

OP posts:
Lowcarbonated · 23/01/2025 20:03

Itrytobesensible · 23/01/2025 19:55

I don't see why you should feel so embarrassed.
You are both adults and you both know about menstruation: it's a natural function of a woman's body.
If you are not embarrassed to have sex with this man why should you be embarrassed that your period had started? It makes no sense.

I agree with this. It's hardly embarrassing. He's an intimate partner. He sounds a bit weird about it all really.

bakewellbride · 23/01/2025 20:05

Similar happened with my dh recently op and I was not happy either op!! I get it!

Original poster
User7288339 · 23/01/2025 20:08

Thank you x
and I think I’d feel different with someone I live with or had been with longer.
and maybe it is partly because I can see he’s a tiny bit awkward about it but knows he shouldn’t be and tries not to show it. But that’s the vibe I get.

OP posts:
Lyn348 · 23/01/2025 20:09

He needs to get over himself tbh. You're a woman you have a period every month. This is a him problem, not a you problem OP.

2025willbemytime · 23/01/2025 20:10

You should be over embarrassment about bodily functions by now. As for him washing his hands when he doesn't normally, well done him.

Msmoonpie · 23/01/2025 20:10

I agree - kindly I’m surprised it’s not happened before.

I’ve had it happen a few times. Some men also like it …

Original poster
User7288339 · 23/01/2025 20:12

I can normally tell when it’s coming, but not this time.

and he does normally wash his hands, that came out wrong, he just doesn’t normally jump out of bed afterwards to do so

Thanks all, just talking about it is helping, plus I’m probably getting it out of proportion as I’m all hormonal

OP posts:
CreationNat1on · 23/01/2025 20:12

Happened to me too, yes, mildly embarrassing, but I don't control how human bodies work. So be it.

Itrytobesensible · 23/01/2025 20:13

User7288339 · 23/01/2025 20:08

Thank you x
and I think I’d feel different with someone I live with or had been with longer.
and maybe it is partly because I can see he’s a tiny bit awkward about it but knows he shouldn’t be and tries not to show it. But that’s the vibe I get.

You are happy for him to finger you and you are happy for him.to perform oral sex on you. Nothing much could really be more intimate than these actions.
But you are embarrassed by a bit of menstrual blood?
I don't understand how you can bring yourselves to have sex with each other if you are embarrassed by this.

TenderChicken · 23/01/2025 20:14

I also can't believe your in your 40s and still embarassed by period stuff. It's fine OP x

BlondeMamaToBe · 23/01/2025 20:15

If this makes you embarrassed then he isn’t the right one.

yogasam · 23/01/2025 20:17

He was more likely to realise what was happening than you were... surely it tasted different or he noticed blood on his fingers?

Did he stop until he was done? No!

I wouldn't worry one jot about it.

MissMoneyFairy · 23/01/2025 20:17

You're both in your 40s , has he got kids, witnessed a birth? Honestly it's no big deal, him washing his hands is a good thing, doesn't he do that anyway before he goes back to work. Maybe he's got a bit of a blood phobia.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/01/2025 20:21

I'm more grossed out that he wouldn't normally wash his hands after fingering you before he goes off back to work. At least it's not to the office.

I get why you're embarrassed but honestly, it's just one of those things. You will both just never mention it again and it will be fine
Or he'll make a massive deal out of it and you know he's a dick who isn't worthy of your lunchtime shennanigans

Jillybloop393 · 23/01/2025 20:24

I'm older than you, and five years into a new relationship after my previous partner and I split up. I also would be embarrassed if I found out after being intimate with each other that my period had started - I think it's not so bad if you've at least warned your partner of the situation, but for him to find out afterwards ..... yep, I'd be cringing with embarrassment!

Fawn87 · 23/01/2025 20:25

It's not a big deal. You've been with him 18 months, if you're going to be together long term then at some point you just have to get over this sort of stuff.

Greyish2025 · 23/01/2025 21:00

User7288339 · 23/01/2025 20:03

No, I don’t think so.
Never had sex with my period without realising.

i was with my husband since quite young, he was the first person I’d slept with: then a couple of casual things after we separated and now this. My xH was more relaxed about us doing it towards the end of my period, but he never went down on me anyway, I think I’d be feeling less awkward about it if it had just been intercourse.

can no one understand why I feel embarrassed about it?

I know it’s natural but it’s also not something I’d particularly want to expose other people to.

I can understand, it happened to me before and I was mortified but boyfriend at the time although a bit surprised didn’t seem too bothered by it

niadainud · 23/01/2025 21:12

I once finished giving someone a blowjob only to realise he hadn't wiped his arse properly. That's something to be embarrassed about (him, not me), not something you can't control and didn't expect to happen.

Fawn87 · 23/01/2025 21:16

niadainud · 23/01/2025 21:12

I once finished giving someone a blowjob only to realise he hadn't wiped his arse properly. That's something to be embarrassed about (him, not me), not something you can't control and didn't expect to happen.

That is disgusting. Poor you.

YourHappyJadeEagle · 23/01/2025 21:20

I’m more concerned about your bedding than him. Wash it in cold water as hot water will set the blood. Then you can re wash if you want at 30 or 40c if all ok.