So embarrassed, can’t stop cringing 🙈 period related

[User7288339]

I know no one can say anything to help, but I just need to get this out as obviously can’t tell anyone!

boyfriend/DP of 18 months was over at lunchtime, due to kids etc we meet up at lunchtime when we’re both wfh and have sex.
There’s a lot more to the relationship than that but we both really enjoy that part! We’re in our 40s. First proper relationship for us both after long marriages.

Basically my period started and I didn’t realise until afterwards 🙈 🙈

there were marks on my (freshly changed, WHITE) bedding.

He’d fingered me a lot and…. Gone down on me 🙈 🙈
he said he didn’t notice

we don’t normally sleep together when I’m on my period, talked about it early on and he’s not really up for that. Nor am I when I have it fully but when it’s very light at the beginning or the end don’t mind intercourse, but he prefers it to be totally gone, fair enough no worries.

It was so embarrassing when I realised. He was nice about it of course but I could tell he was slightly horrified, immediately washed his hands thoroughly and he doesn’t usually.

I know it’s just one of those things but I can’t believe I didn’t realise ☹️, didn’t have the usual signs and only had my last one 3 weeks ago and a couple of days so it’s slightly early.

can’t stop cringing about it ☹️

he said it didn’t matter washed his hand and didn’t make a fuss doesn’t sound to me like he had a problem

Yep. Was pretty grim.

I totally understand how you must feel OP, I would be mortified too. But like everyone has already pointed out, nothing you can do about it now.

The implication that he wouldn't have washed his hands after fingering OP unless there had been period blood on them is absolutely disgusting.
He must only be selective about which bodily fluids disgust him and selective about his hygiene.

No offence but you're at the age where perimenopause could be starting and periods being irregular/ different/unpredictable could be a factor. This might happen again.

I used to be regular like clockwork and always knew when it was coming,and then I didn't and it's happened a few times during sex now. It's only a big deal if you make it one. My dh was more mortified that I apologised. He said my apologising for getting my weird made jt more awkward because he thought it's just common sense that these things happen, especially as women get older and it's not like I can prevent it from happening again.

It's totally normal. Are you sure he was horrified and that's not just you projecting.
Of course he washed his hands (presumably he does normally though!).... Thats just a practical step not a sign of horror.

We realllllllly did not need to know about the fingering ffs OP. That's what teenagers do not fully grown adults. Yuck

I was once tutoring a boy so sat on his parents' dining room chair. Just freshly applied my mooncup minutes before but it flooded and stained the chair. I was so embarrassed I knew I had to say something but... couldn't! So didn't.

The next week I walked in the dining room and the chair has been swapped for one with a plastic cover!!!

He got a grade 7 so hopefully they forgave me.

First proper partner after divorce, I was really enjoying having sex again, thought my period was finished a couple of days earlier, had sex and flooded all over HIS bed and duvet!! I was SO mortified but he was lovely about it - that might have been the point I realised I had fallen in love with him . Everything washed out of the sheets and duvet cover but he replaced the duvet itself.

and he does normally wash his hands, that came out wrong, he just doesn’t normally jump out of bed afterwards to do so

Yeah but if he had blood on them that makes sense. Not necessarily because he thought it was gross, but because it's blood, it stains. And some people are phobic of (or just a bit squeamish about) all blood, period or otherwise.

Worse things have happened op let it go.
I farted duing sex once (loud it never happened before or since) i never got over it thank god it was a one night stand while on holiday in thialand.
I still think today i must have put that thia man of british woman for life.
My face still goes red when it pops in my head.

Is it?! Why?

TBF I wouldn't read too much into him jumping up and washing his hands. I would too - with any blood on them, not just period blood.

I'm surprised he couldn't taste blood when he went down on you.

I can understand why you're embarrassed, but try to shrug it off and move on.

Period sex is fantastic! Orgasms are much more intense I find. I'm surprised you haven't tried it before?
A good man won't be bothered at all. You can wash the sheets, or just put down a towel. Or even do it in the shower.
Enjoy it! It's not embarrassing and it must have happened with other women in his past. X

Happened to me this weekend. DP just said afterwards 'oh I think your period has started' and I replied 'thats annoying' and neither of us thought anything more. Try not to worry, it's a natural occurrence you have zero control over

My old flatmate had a night of passion with his new girlfriend, with the lights off. When they woke up in the morning they realised she had got her period and there was blood absolutely everywhere!

Despite it being a very normal bodily function, it was still quite an intense thing to wake up to for them both!

If it’s been 18 months I presume it’s serious? You’ve had a child right and so has he? Don’t be embarrassed about it.

Really,is that what you think? 😂

OP,he washed his hands as they had blood on them,you would do the same,wouldn't you?

I think it's a bit odd that you are so embarrassed, you're in an intimate relationship with him!

Agree. The awkwardness seems to be coming entirely from OP.

If he had blood on his hands obviously he would want to wash it off to avoid smearing it everywhere, I wouldn’t take that as evidence of anything. The rest of it is him acting completely normally but OP insisting she can “tell” he is secretly revolted.

Seriously?

Lots of adult women need manual stimulation during sex in order to orgasm.

Presumably you think adult women should be far too grown up to want to orgasm, and should just lie there thinking of England?

Are you a man (or teenage boy) because literally what the fuck.

Get that bedding into a cold soak. You will recover much quicker if your bedding recovers.

Perimenopause can do dreadful things to the timing of your periods, they just turn up every 3-6 weeks as the whim takes them. Big deep breath, you will be fine.

I would be embarrassed too OP but I can also see that it's silly to feel like this. It happens, it's just the way our bodies are. To be fair it sounds like he handled it well but if he was a bit grossed out i think that's forgiveable too.

can no one understand why I feel embarrassed about it?

No, we can't.