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Original poster

So embarrassed, can’t stop cringing 🙈 period related

78 replies

User7288339 · 23/01/2025 19:48

I know no one can say anything to help, but I just need to get this out as obviously can’t tell anyone!

boyfriend/DP of 18 months was over at lunchtime, due to kids etc we meet up at lunchtime when we’re both wfh and have sex.
There’s a lot more to the relationship than that but we both really enjoy that part! We’re in our 40s. First proper relationship for us both after long marriages.

Basically my period started and I didn’t realise until afterwards 🙈 🙈

there were marks on my (freshly changed, WHITE) bedding.

He’d fingered me a lot and…. Gone down on me 🙈 🙈
he said he didn’t notice

we don’t normally sleep together when I’m on my period, talked about it early on and he’s not really up for that. Nor am I when I have it fully but when it’s very light at the beginning or the end don’t mind intercourse, but he prefers it to be totally gone, fair enough no worries.

It was so embarrassing when I realised. He was nice about it of course but I could tell he was slightly horrified, immediately washed his hands thoroughly and he doesn’t usually.

I know it’s just one of those things but I can’t believe I didn’t realise ☹️, didn’t have the usual signs and only had my last one 3 weeks ago and a couple of days so it’s slightly early.

can’t stop cringing about it ☹️

OP posts:
ItGhoul · 24/01/2025 14:08

User7288339 · 23/01/2025 20:03

No, I don’t think so.
Never had sex with my period without realising.

i was with my husband since quite young, he was the first person I’d slept with: then a couple of casual things after we separated and now this. My xH was more relaxed about us doing it towards the end of my period, but he never went down on me anyway, I think I’d be feeling less awkward about it if it had just been intercourse.

can no one understand why I feel embarrassed about it?

I know it’s natural but it’s also not something I’d particularly want to expose other people to.

Honestly? I genuinely can't understand why you'd be embarrassed about this when it happened with someone you've been dating for 18 months and you're in your early 40s.

If you were 17and you'd got your period during your first shag with someone, then maybe I'd expect you to feel embarrassed, but I really, really cannot fathom what the embarrassment factor is about a period issue when you're adults in a long-term relationship. Fine if you and/or your partner don't want to have sex on your period, it's not for everyone. But if it happens to start mid-shag it's just one of those things. Not a big deal at all and not embarrassing.

It's only a bit of blood. It's not like you shat the bed FFS.

housemaus · 24/01/2025 14:09

Costcolover · 24/01/2025 12:52

We realllllllly did not need to know about the fingering ffs OP. That's what teenagers do not fully grown adults. Yuck

This just in: foreplay is for teenagers??? Weird take

ItGhoul · 24/01/2025 14:10

Costcolover · 24/01/2025 12:52

We realllllllly did not need to know about the fingering ffs OP. That's what teenagers do not fully grown adults. Yuck

You've led a very sheltered life, haven't you?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Women's health
ItGhoul · 24/01/2025 14:18

Itrytobesensible · 23/01/2025 23:11

The implication that he wouldn't have washed his hands after fingering OP unless there had been period blood on them is absolutely disgusting.
He must only be selective about which bodily fluids disgust him and selective about his hygiene.

Edited
Show quote history

The OP says he does usually wash his hands: and he does normally wash his hands, that came out wrong, he just doesn’t normally jump out of bed afterwards to do so.

OP, I would assume the reason he washed them more quickly this time is because blood is simply a bit messier and would stain anything else he touched if he didn't wash it off straight away.

Glitchymn1 · 24/01/2025 14:25

Yeah I get you, I wouldn’t like it either. He needs to wash his hands though!
😆Dirty boy.
I don’t like blood at all, DH isn’t bothered but period sex is a no for me.

@niadainud Horrific- that would give me the ick.

Lolski28 · 24/01/2025 14:34

I think people are being very harsh
the OP and her partner has agreed that it was something they wouldn’t do.
so she presumably feels like she has gone against his will all be it unintentionally
he seems to be ok with it so try to not be so hard on yourself .

OldTinHat · 24/01/2025 14:35

If it makes you feel better, I was on top of a partner once and suddenly had explosive diarrhoea.

Now THAT was embarrassing!

We've long split up!

Ameliepoulainandthephotobooth · 24/01/2025 14:43

If he’s a keeper then I seriously doubt that he will care.

Always remember that it could be so much worse!

Itrytobesensible · 24/01/2025 14:56

Lolski28 · 24/01/2025 14:34

I think people are being very harsh
the OP and her partner has agreed that it was something they wouldn’t do.
so she presumably feels like she has gone against his will all be it unintentionally
he seems to be ok with it so try to not be so hard on yourself .

Sorry but it doesn't explain why a woman in her 40s who is having a very intimate relationship should be embarrassed by a natural bodily function.
It's a throw back to when the advertising of period products was not allowed on tv. When women's menstruation was a " dirty secret".

Lourdes12 · 24/01/2025 14:57

Couldn't get embarrassed about this. Loads of women have sex during period

WitchesCauldron · 24/01/2025 15:19

User7288339 · 23/01/2025 19:48

I know no one can say anything to help, but I just need to get this out as obviously can’t tell anyone!

boyfriend/DP of 18 months was over at lunchtime, due to kids etc we meet up at lunchtime when we’re both wfh and have sex.
There’s a lot more to the relationship than that but we both really enjoy that part! We’re in our 40s. First proper relationship for us both after long marriages.

Basically my period started and I didn’t realise until afterwards 🙈 🙈

there were marks on my (freshly changed, WHITE) bedding.

He’d fingered me a lot and…. Gone down on me 🙈 🙈
he said he didn’t notice

we don’t normally sleep together when I’m on my period, talked about it early on and he’s not really up for that. Nor am I when I have it fully but when it’s very light at the beginning or the end don’t mind intercourse, but he prefers it to be totally gone, fair enough no worries.

It was so embarrassing when I realised. He was nice about it of course but I could tell he was slightly horrified, immediately washed his hands thoroughly and he doesn’t usually.

I know it’s just one of those things but I can’t believe I didn’t realise ☹️, didn’t have the usual signs and only had my last one 3 weeks ago and a couple of days so it’s slightly early.

can’t stop cringing about it ☹️

Guess it's true what they say about working from home..

WeightLoss2025 · 24/01/2025 15:40

Oh for gods sake... OP, this has happened to me too and I've been mortified, I completely get it.

To all those saying 'I couldn't get embarrassed about this, he's a grown man, this is a natural bodily function, grow up etc, etc'...

Defecating is also a natural bodily function, but if I shit myself unexpectedly during sex, I'd also be embarrassed.

Having a man go down on you and emerge with blood on his face and lips is embarrassing or awkward whatever way you look at it.

WeightLoss2025 · 24/01/2025 15:42

But it sounds like youve both dealt with the awkwardness as best you could OP! I'm sure you'll have a laugh about it in time 🤭

Bloom15 · 24/01/2025 16:01

This happened to me when my now DH and I first lived together. I was mortified while he just changed the bedding.

I mentioned it a while ago (about 10 years later) and he had no clue what I was talking about! So he definitely hadn't remembered.

TheFormidableMrsC · 24/01/2025 16:06

It's happened to us all at one time or another! My worse cringe was having dinner at a boyfriend's home with his quite staid parents. I was about 16. I had wrapped a sanitary towel in paper and put it in my bag to take home for disposal. Their dog came trotting into the room with it hanging out of his mouth 🙈. Horrific.

Winterdazy · 24/01/2025 16:06

I don’t understand why you’d be embarrassed, no. Bizarre

madamweb · 24/01/2025 16:09

ItGhoul · 24/01/2025 14:18

The OP says he does usually wash his hands: and he does normally wash his hands, that came out wrong, he just doesn’t normally jump out of bed afterwards to do so.

OP, I would assume the reason he washed them more quickly this time is because blood is simply a bit messier and would stain anything else he touched if he didn't wash it off straight away.

Show quote history

Exactly

madamweb · 24/01/2025 16:09

WitchesCauldron · 24/01/2025 15:19

Guess it's true what they say about working from home..

Show quote history

People can still take a lunch break when WFH

Fawn87 · 24/01/2025 16:15

Costcolover · 24/01/2025 12:52

We realllllllly did not need to know about the fingering ffs OP. That's what teenagers do not fully grown adults. Yuck

If that's what you really think that's a shame you've been with some unskilled men.

madamweb · 24/01/2025 16:16

Fawn87 · 24/01/2025 16:15

If that's what you really think that's a shame you've been with some unskilled men.

Show quote history

I know! Bizarre take.

Endofyear · 24/01/2025 16:23

I can understand you feeling a bit embarrassed but honestly, it's a perfectly normal bodily function and we all have them! He'll get over it and so will you. Just carry on as normal and breeze past it.

Original poster
User7288339 · 24/01/2025 16:27

WeightLoss2025 · 24/01/2025 15:42

But it sounds like youve both dealt with the awkwardness as best you could OP! I'm sure you'll have a laugh about it in time 🤭

Thank you, we did have a bit of a laugh when he asked me if it was all over his face like Dracula (it wasn’t at all!)

and for those concerned for our work productivity he particularly is a super strict time keeper! All within the hour 😆

OP posts:
thebignewtvsbroken · 24/01/2025 16:48

OldTinHat · 24/01/2025 14:35

If it makes you feel better, I was on top of a partner once and suddenly had explosive diarrhoea.

Now THAT was embarrassing!

We've long split up!

Oh bless you!

What's shame, but that did make me laugh Grin

What happened? I hope he was kind about it?

Pancakewaffle · 24/01/2025 16:57

OP is it worth taking a pregnancy test just to be on the safe side? I could be way off but I would want to check bleeding a week after ovulation (assuming your cycles are average length) to make sure it wasn't implantation etc

Pilgrimgirl · 24/01/2025 16:59

@TheFormidableMrsC Oh no, your poor 16 year old self! That's exactly the type of thing that would happen to me. When I was 14 I used to pad my bra out with cotton wool and one day, whilst staying with my pen friend on a school exchange trip to France, I was playing badminton in her garden when it all dropped out. Her dad had been watching us and proceeded to pick it all up and hand it back to me, whilst asking what it was in very puzzled French. I just pretended I couldn't understand him!