I'm not good at saying no, how do I approach this and keep my job?

[MmmmmmmToblerone]

I have been doing my job for 6 years. I am a PA for an adult disabled client. I work for them 3 days a week and I work on a self employed basis (at their insistence).

The job was advertised with a car to take my client out and about. My client has a mobility vehicle which I have always used to drive them to their appointments, sports and social clubs and when we go out shopping etc.

My client usually receives a new car every 3 years and their current one is up for renewal in April, they decided around 6 months ago they will not renew the contract in April as they want the money in their pocket, fair enough, I have no issue with that.

The problem is that for the last few months they and their mother (who is heavily involved in their lives) keep asking me what will happen when they give up their mobility car and how will we get about. I have replied saying we can get the bus or a taxi to our destinations, the reply to this is always a "Mmmm?"or a "Oh, ok".

Anyhow, it transpires that they want me to use my car, several times now the mother has asked if I can use my car once the contact ends. I have always replied that it's not big enough (Fiat 500) to get the wheelchair in but now she has come up with the idea that my client can use their sticks which tbh will make getting out and about quite tricky and restrict the places we can go.

Regardless if they can use their sticks or not, the truth is that I don't want to use my car, it's 14 years old and has 100,000 miles on the clock, I only use it to and from work and I don't want to put any mileage on it. The mother seems to think simply paying me mileage will suffice and when I told her a few weeks ago that I really don't want to put extra mileage on etc she has been really off with me since. I am getting a bit fed up, the job was never advertised as needing to use my own car and I have never in all the time I have worked for them offered up my car as part of the service. I feel they already take the piss out of me for other things at times and I do not want to be pushed into using my own car just because they want to save themselves some extra money.

But I am crap at saying no and sticking to it, especially when they create such an atmosphere over it all.

How do I continue sticking to no and hope they get the message without feeling awful about it and without them getting funny about it as they seem to be taking it personally.

Thank you erinaceus, I will take a look.

DeliciousApples Sadly AA does not go up if I were to drop the CA, Mum already claims the higher rate of AA.

OP, you seem confident you are genuinely self employed but have you done the online HMRC 'test' of that? (on the .gov.uk website) Because on the face of it, you may well not meet those criteria. You have scheduled work hours that you need to adhere to, cannot control the location work is complete and almost certainly couldn't send a substitute.

I suggest you look at going through an agency in future. That way yes you pay PAYE but the agency is your employer and must pay statutory holiday pay and offer you a pension scheme with employer contributions. It also keeps the client and their family at more of an arms length.

You are in a field desperately short of good carers and have 6 years experience. I'd be very surprised if you didn't walk into a job. Also worth looking at part time jobs with housing associations and charities who offer supported living for people with disabilities.

Are you insured for taking clients in your car? if not you shouldn’t be using to transport them.

I am registered as self employed with HMRC via my government gateway account etc.
The substitute was always agreed as my client's mother. I have a contract with them stating this. Although up till now I've hardly taken any time off so it's not been an issue.

I won't bother with self employment in the future as it's too much hassle for the amount of hours I do. I have always been employed in the past and much prefer it that way.

In all honesty, I'm not certain that I want to continue in the care industry right now as it's very hard work and I need to concentrate on my own family atm, my mum's entering the next stage of her dementia journey and that's hell in itself. I'm struggling with perimenopause and some other health issues and I think I'm going to take some time out.

Look after yourself @MmmmmmmToblerone .

Don't stretch yourself too thinly trying to be everything to everybody. I really do hope that you're able to get through the next while with the least amount of upheaval to you.

Thank you LookItsMeAgain

@MmmmmmmToblerone a thought just occurred to me that if you started to use your own car they'd have to reimburse your petrol costs which I'm sure they wouldn't want to do!

there's no such thing as 'registration as self employed' that can be relied upon. Basically you tell H M Revenue & Customs that you are self employed and they go along with it until they (sometimes) decide you're not.

Your 'client' is at risk because of H M Revenue & Customs decide you have actually been an employee all along, they can be forced to pay the tax and NIC as if you were an employee. It's up to the employer to assess the relationship and account for PAYE properly. I

Disabled adult here who gets PIP and has no mobility vehicle and spends PIP on taxis (as that is what it's for)

As a PA you are having the piss taken out of you here @MmmmmmmToblerone

You need to be firm. No, massive Cheeky Fucker, you won't be giving up your car so you can be racking up the petrol and mileage on my car, and I don't have business insurance

You are going to have to say :

We won't be using my car period, and if this becomes an issue/discussion I will have to look for other work.

Stand firm.

I've read through your posts and I see you've decided to move on from this job. Don't feel guilty here OP whatsoever the absolute piss was being taken.