What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve read in a Trip Advisor review?

[peppermintgreengrass]

Currently on a lovely holiday. The Trip Advisor reviews of our resort are unrecognisable. Which has inspired me to ask: what’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve read in a Trip Advisor review?

Here are mine:

That the hotel had no private beach. When it wasn’t by the sea.

That the breakfast food was all cooked on request so you couldn’t see it before you ordered it. It was a tiny boutique hotel where they cooked you anything you wanted from an extensive menu so, no, it wasn’t a buffet.

That the kitchen area had a different worktop to the granite worktop shown in the photo. Because that definitely matters if you’re on holiday and not renovating your kitchen.

That it was hypocritical to promote fitness while simultaneously pushing junk food by - wait for it - selling ice creams beside an outdoor pool.

I recently went on a cheap-as-chips coach holiday in the UK. I mean, REALLY cheap, cheaper than staying at home type of thing. Stayed in a Britannia hotel, half board, taken out to sites of historic interest every day but entry was included - for the price it was BRILLIANT.

And people complained because there 'wasn't enough choice at dinner.' Three courses, buffet style meals with meat, fish and veg for each course. Two choices for pudding. People were asking for ice cream, different puddings, etc etc. I really felt for the staff. And I wanted to shout 'what did you EXPECT for the price?'

More courses and more choice, evidently.

This is always a joy (Josh Groban sings TripAdvisor reviews):

This is just what Dublin is like now, so at least they got the authentic experience! If they wanted oldschool 'Irish Irish' charm they'd have been better off in rural Mayo

Richard III museum - where he was found and dug up from a car park and they made a museum there - someone complaining that the car park isn't big enough now.

Hotel review where a guy said the hotel wasn't close enough to a hospital.

This has to be one of my all time favourites

Yeah we had that at my last job

Or the one who moaned as we didn't serve pork roasts, just lamb, chicken, beef or nut roast

It would be funny if it wasn't so annoying when it's a hard time for hospitality.

I love the bad reviews. I always look at them first when looking to book somewhere as quite often it makes me want to book there even more. If it detracts a certain type of person then it is the type of place for me. Things like moaning about no English food, too quiet, etc.

I saw one yesterday for a hotel where a family hadn't checked what time to check out and had jauntily gone on an excursion on the last day. When they returned back at 6pm they were HORRIFIED to discover checkout should have been at 12pm. The hotel then kindly offered to not charge them the usual late check out fee if they quickly removed all their belongings but they then whinged that they were SO tired and they couldn't shower and they had to sit in a bar to wait for their transfer at 10pm and how could they possibly know that they couldn't remain in their room until this time.

In my experience, even late check out is usually only until around 6pm at the very latest. Or how do the rooms get made up for the next guests?

Hotel we stayed at had a lovely outdoor terrace which looked over the gardens, where you could eat breakfast. One review complained that birds flew from the garden onto the terrace whilst they were eating. There was an indoor area you could eat in if you didn't want to be outside

Not a TripAdvisor review, but a guest comment to me that left me 🤔

"There are too many black people in the hotel, I don't think they should let them in" - in Nigeria.

There are different rules in different countries, I think.

We stayed at a 3 in Turkey, which transpired to be a very luxurious 5 that had only just opened, and couldn't be advertised as 5* until they had been open a certain length of time.

My Favorite one was a review for Pontins Camber Sands which likened it to a 1970's version of auschwitz

To be fair, all of the reviews on it are absolute horror stories, and the photos are grim

Lovely wetherspoons near us is 'disgusting' because unlike most Spoons it won't let people go in, buy nothing and sleep in the booths all day.

OMG - I worked there for a summer when a student - I think it was 1977. It was grim then. Especially if you knew what went on behind the scenes!

I help manage an air bnb.. Guest left a bad review as they had been unable to fully close the bedroom door and therefore hadn't slept much.. Reason given was the coat hook prevented it closing properly.. A row of 4 hooks that slips over the top of the door...
Also reviews of people who check in hours before the alloted time and it actually hasn't even been cleaned yet!!

wasnt a review but trip advisor/holiday lettings cancelled both my villa bookings to the canarias because 'they were changing their operating platform'. And still took the money for one of the bookings (though then did then refund a week or so later). Caused a lot of stress and inconvenience....wont ever use them again

Went to Egypt about 10 years ago. The reviews raved about the hotel. It was horrid so I posted a review just to give another opinion; I was roasted for it by numerous regular patrons saying that I wasn't posh enough to appreciate it which left me feeling we were in some weird timeslip/dystopian event.

Was browsing Tripadvisor reviews of a boutique hotel and read a scathing 1* review:

"Service sucked... we were discriminated against because they were pandering to [bigwig-with-a-title's] group... Waited ages for meal service and it was only [basic dish]... When we asked why the other guests were having [fancy dish], staff replied that those guests ordered it... We paid the same price as them so I don’t see why were we being mistreated badly..."

The very next review was 5*:

"...The very best part and reasons that makes me wanting to come back more was the loving and caring staff... awesome people who make you really feel welcome... We were very grateful because they fulfilled our wish to have [fancy dish] for our meal ...they are just awesome!! Signed, [bigwig-with-a-title]"

I can't decide whether the second review was a pisstake or not!

It's obvious...a review of a beach near Benidorm😁

"..the hairdryer was too weak. It felt like someone trying to breathe my hair dry" is a sentence I periodically remember, always makes me laugh anew.

At the same place (an exquisite old traditional ryokan in Japan)- "the floor is a slope, when I woke up I was very tilted" 😅 The building is handmade, probs hundreds of years old, I mean...

Also the bread and butter of annoying reviews- "I could hear trains!! All night!!1!! Shame on you Bereton Train Station Hotel!" or "absolute shambles, none of the lights would work until they said I had to put my key card into some sort of slot" "there wasn't a 32 piece chefs knife set and fifteen person dinner set" (in a one bedroom Airbnb) "LOTS of street noise, sort it out!" (City centre apartment very obviously surrounded by nightlife) etc etc.

Or even the hard/soft/thin/bouncy bed/pillow/duvet brigade. I like a helpful description, eg soft pillows, not enough pillows, firm mattress.. But to go on about your personal preference, who cares?! "In my country we are used to softer beds so I suppose that explains the plank of wood I slept on in Bali"

Someone who wrote a long review detailing the anaphylactic reaction her DH had to some nuts that were hidden in a dish and the awful hotel staff who were more concerned about where her car was parked than helping her deal with her husband who couldn't breathe and may have died.

Response from the hotel was very telling. The nuts were clearly advertised on the menu and her husband had completely downplayed his nut allergy. Her car was blocking the ambulance's entrance to the car park which is why the staff had asked if she could move it.

We were going to stay at the hotel and when I read the review from the customer I had been on the verge of cancelling it - until I read the hotel's account.

Oh and another- a review of a mid range perfectly pleasant aparthotel- "there was dust behind the washing machine, disgusting!"

This aparthotel being in Tokyo, in my.opinion the greatest city on earth. Where you could spend a thousand lifetimes and still have fun every minute of the day. Who tf would have the time or inclination to root the bloody washing machine out and assess the levels of dust behind it, and then take to the internet to moan about it?! Insanity.

Not done as a TA review as far as I know but we were on holiday in Barbados years ago and another guest complained that ‘my bedspread doesn’t match the curtains’ and ‘they don’t have burgers on the dinner menu’.

So you’re in Barbados staying in a beachfront hotel with stunning views, there’s beautiful fresh fish and local food and you want a bloody burger and you want a matching bedspread in your large, very comfortable room 🙄

I was a holiday rep for years in the Canaries.

The odd day it rained we'd arrange indoor activities and open kids club for parents to use with children.

Often wasn't good enough - and when we asked for feedback about what would be better to provide - often it was just "we want to use pool" - no one's stopping you despite rain or "we want kids club we don't have to supervise" - ok then, but it'll be shorter sessions, bookable because we need to stick to ratios so will limit the time you can use it. Often we then had people saying it wouldn't as no one was going to stop them booking every session. We did