Do your parents know your salary?

[nosyposy]

Name changed as could be outing.

Me and DM almost had an argument today over her wanting to know my salary.

I have been offered a new job and my mother asked me how much the salary was. I said to her I wouldn't ever dream of asking how much she or my father earns. She was very persistent and very offended when I wouldn't tell her.

She then went on to say she knew roughly how much DH earned as he works for the NHS and he must be in a particular band and she had looked.

It made me feel really uncomfortable.

She is now not really talking to me because I refused to tell her. Is it really typical to discuss so openly?

I'm really close to my mum so would definitely tell her, tbh she wouldn't need to ask cause I would of spilled the beans already 😂. I guess if you don't have that kind of relationship with a parent, then it's none of their business

They do. I get paid on a salary grid and since they know how long I’ve been working for and the level of education I have it’s not exactly rocket science to figure out.

Even if it wasn’t that easy I would probably tell them. They are both financially savvy and care about me a great deal so although I don’t necessarily have the same financial priorities as they do I do trust and value their opinion on things.

I'm a mother and have known my son's( early 30s) salary ever since his first grad scheme job. I've never asked but he has shared it when discussing career moves and promotions. I also know his wife's salary, she told me when they recently moved and could afford a much larger mortgage.
They've never asked my income and with my own parents we never discussed financial matters so never knew their salaries either. That was until my father died a few years ago and my mother asked me to do the probate for her and help with various administrative things. At that point I discovered that my mum and dad had well over a million in various savings accounts, I was quite shocked as although they never wanted for anything they lived quite frugally, neither had inherited anything at all, they had accumulated it by their own careful saving over 60 years together.

I knew what my parents earned and I know what their pensions are.

They know what I earn.

Only when I was living at home until I was 18 and left, if I had lived in their house past that I would expect them to know so I could contribute fairly to household expenses. Likewise we knew DS's salary when he worked while at university as we were still contributing to his living expenses. We don't know DS's salary now as he is independent from us.

If you work in a public sector job, it's fairly easy to find out anyway

My mum constantly says how much I earn and how I must be loaded and I earn more than she ever did. I've said it's not comparable as I have a huge mortgage to pay, which she didn't. My dad paid it and then when they divorced she was given the mortgage free house. Nothing wrong with that but in relative terms I'm a lot worse off financially and really struggle but she insists on making intrusive comments about how much money I earn and how loaded I am. You literally have to look at me to see I'm not loaded! I have a house and my children have what they need but I clearly look a state all the time and don't have any spare cash for things I would like/ need.
I'm a single parent but have a lodger to help with bills. Not something she has ever needed to do. Again great and I'm pleased for her but why go on about how loaded I must be when I don't have a lodger for fun. It's a nuisance. I have a lodger to help pay the bills.