Do Neurotypical people identify with traits on this list too?

[mimblewimble]

Having sat through DS's autism assessment and seeing myself in a lot of his traits, I'm now in the process of seeking an autism assessment for myself. I've been spending a lot of time reading about autistic traits in undiagnosed/high masking women, and I really identify with a lot of them.

When I read some of these things though, I am surprised that this wouldn't be how a lot of fairly intelligent, slightly anxious people feel. The people I know well enough to ask are all some kind of neurodivergent themselves. So I thought I'd ask on here.

This is an example of a list I found. I read it and just thought well obviously, that sounds quite like me but would a lot of women not see themselves in a lot of this, autistic or not?

https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-and-aspergers-a-checklist/

I would genuinely love to find out I'm autistic at this stage, I'm probably overthinking it... 😆

Yeah I identify with a lot of them to be honest although I do have a diagnosis of dyspraxia (which used to be considered by some an autistic spectrum disorder) However I am unsure about as I am not clumsy and am in fact highly dexterous and able physically. I am also not sure about autism as I think I am able to read other people and understand what they are thinking and feeling quite well, i.e. I have a well developed theory of mind.

I am also quite able to regulate my emotions well and fairly stable in that regard. However I don't think I am neurotypical either as I do relate a lot to what is on that list quite strongly and am very much a bit of a misfit in my real life.

I'm almost certain my mum is autistic and there are quite a few children on her side of the family who have a diagnosis of autism.

I really don't know about the list, I would think most people would have some of those traits so perhaps its more if you identify with more than half of them over a long period of time?

@BlueSky2024

Look, in all honesty, If I was accessed I’m pretty sure I would also be diagnosed as ND ( for a number of reasons I won’t go into) but even if I was I doubt I would tell anyone as I think most people would just go ‘ oh here’s another one’

You are the one who thinks that though. But yeah, I'm just 'another one'

If you genuinely think you have a disability, you would not be ousting the comments you have on here.

I don't think that's NT in general just a small amount of ignorant people.

no, I have heard other people say it

In response to your last comment…. why not?

You must mix with horrible people. When my friend was diagnosed, none of us thought that.

It wasn’t friends who said it, I have seen these types of reactions on social media

Autistic woman here - lots of them apply to me but not all

I think the ones about not understanding lying and manipulation by others sticks out, as well as liking to know the origin of words

I've had a hard time accepting my autism and look forward to one day being able to tell other irl about it

I imagine that I qualify as NT and I don't identify with those items at all. I kind of despair of people who take themselves too seriously. It's strongly cultural for me, too, my birth culture despairs of people who are too intense.

I may have been a lot more narcissistic & navel gazing when I was 15 or so, though.

Do people with ASD or autism ever relax or have fun? There's nothing positive or fun or uplifting in that list, is there? Does the list have to be so darn negative?

I think that piat is silly.
I have a lot of those traits some very pronounced but I am not Autistic.

I think being an individual and different from each other now means your Neurodivergent. No we are all different and Unique.

@LoveThatDog I kind of get what she means though and I think these days people do think that and I say that as someone with an ND diagnosis which I've found useful to have to some extent.

I think that for me diagnosis was useful in that it helped me make sense of certain things and just accept that this was the way I was and so I should lean into my strengths, find coping strategies for my short comings and just give up on certain things that were more in the category of what I should do. Overall though as an adult I don't really expect too much sympathy or adjustments for these issues because as a reasonably intelligent person I need to deal with my own stuff and not put it on others or expect a lot of special treatment.

I also dislike the notion that people who are neurotypical find all the stuff that ND people find difficult so easy because I don't think they do. Most people struggle with focus, motivation, planning and organisation even if they would be regarded as NT. Sometimes they way the dialogue goes is that NT people are like these happy focused robots who breeze though life and I just don't think that is true at all.

Overall I think if people want a diagnosis then great get one if you can and use that info to help you, to be honest there isn't much help available unless you can pay for coaching or private medication. There might be some adjustments in a work place but remember those will be "reasonable" adjustments and they usually don't amount to much think things like a filter on your PC Screen for example!

It might help for close friends and family to know but be prepared for some negative attitudes or fears, my mum was concerned I'd just blame it all on my diagnosis and give up for example and at the end of the day, other people just won't care that much either way if they like you and were making allowances for you then they will keep doing that and if not a diagnosis will be unlikely to change that. The information is really for yourself to help you accept yourself a little more, find coping strategies or play to your strengths, the diagnosis for me isn't a badge but a form of self knowledge.

From the ignorant idiots on social media, much like the ones on this thread then.

Do people with ASD or autism ever relax or have fun? There's nothing positive or fun or uplifting in that list, is there? Does the list have to be so darn negative?

It has some focuses on what some ASD people find challenging, but I would say that it’s all about adjustments. When you get in a car after someone else has sat in the driving seat, you have to make adjustments to be comfortable before you can drive, and it’s not just about comfort, but it’s a need, as in the mirrors need to be visible to your eye-line, you need to reach the pedal and the steering wheel. Life as an autistic person can be a bit like that, but for lots of things NT may not think twice about.

The poster had had comments deleted so mumsnet obviously thinks they weren’t ok. The poster sounds ignorant and uneducated about this and lets not gorget than mumsnet has said they have an autism troll or two that they regularly ban so they could be posting on the thread too.

If you’re ok without adjustments, that’s fine, but by law, people can expect reasonable adjustments in education and work settings. Some people need them. My friends workplace have made lots of changes for her under reasonable adjustments which have really helped her .

I don’t think many people think all NT people don’t struggle with anything, that’s just trotted out by NT people as apparently something ND say (I’ve never heard a ND person say it) as a way to minimise ND from certain people.

I keep away from arseholes and their negative attitudes.

I don’t think you are capable of accepting that some people’s opinions may differ from yours and that you may sometimes be wrong

I did a version of this along with some spectrum my friends. I think I ticked but one all of A and maybe one other question in the whole of the list. My spectrummy friends each had about half or more ticked. I think you are right, anxiety and trauma produce cross over symptoms.

Opinions are fine, but you have had posts deleted that are based on complete lies.

Lies about what exactly?

It's on the list.

What’s on the list?

Do you not remember what you wrote? I screen shot and reported and they’ve been deleted. I’m hardly going to repeat your lies being as they have been deleted.

I accept opinions, I don’t like lies. I reported the posts because of the misinformation. Mumsnet doesn’t allow stuff like that, especially when it’s inflammatory and harmful so they’ve deleted.

There were no lies, they were opinions, you need to understand the difference

No, there were lies. I have the screenshots. I wouldn’t report differing opinions as I prefer to let people debate.

That list looks like a pile of tosh. Don't believe everything you read online about ADHD and autism. There's loads of rubbish out there. If you are getting to grips with what autism could look like, I'd stick to the diagnostic criteria for now.