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Original poster

Do Neurotypical people identify with traits on this list too?

168 replies

mimblewimble · 09/01/2025 10:51

Having sat through DS's autism assessment and seeing myself in a lot of his traits, I'm now in the process of seeking an autism assessment for myself. I've been spending a lot of time reading about autistic traits in undiagnosed/high masking women, and I really identify with a lot of them.

When I read some of these things though, I am surprised that this wouldn't be how a lot of fairly intelligent, slightly anxious people feel. The people I know well enough to ask are all some kind of neurodivergent themselves. So I thought I'd ask on here.

This is an example of a list I found. I read it and just thought well obviously, that sounds quite like me but would a lot of women not see themselves in a lot of this, autistic or not?

https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-and-aspergers-a-checklist/

I would genuinely love to find out I'm autistic at this stage, I'm probably overthinking it... 😆

Females and Autism / Aspergers: A checklist

This list is meant as a springboard for discussion and more awareness into the female experience with autism. By Samantha Craft Females with Autism: An Un

https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-and-aspergers-a-checklist

OP posts:
LittleGreenDragons · 09/01/2025 11:51

This reply has been deleted

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Hard agree.

And yes, some of them impact my daily life but I'm definitely not ND.

thesaskedminger · 09/01/2025 11:52

I'm autistic and don't relate to many of these.

It's just some nonsense put together by yet another 'voice'

iPreferBooks · 09/01/2025 12:02

Yes I do relate to a lot of that list. I got diagnosed around the end of 2023, I've also got a couple of other diagnosis which fall under neurodivergence as well.

You might want to check out the raads-r test. It's long but it's quite interesting. My assessor requested me to do it not as part of my assessment but afterwards, as I think they were doing their own research on it (I'd already done the raads-r several times by then, but I'd usually always end up getting quite a high score!).

https://embrace-autism.com/raads-r/

Original poster
mimblewimble · 09/01/2025 12:07

Thanks for replies, it's all interesting to me.

I've done lots of those online questionnaires and generally come out as borderline to strongly autistic depending how I interpret the questions and how I'm feeling on the day.

I find it really hard to answer questions about things like whether I can read between the lines when someone is talking, or notice more details than other people, or tell if someone is getting bored when I'm talking to them, because I don't know what is happening in someone else's head so I have no idea whether my interpretation is accurate! I guess that's why I've been trying to find other lists of traits or explanations.

I kind of function generally as an adult but my life is set up in a very particular way that I can deal with. I'm educated and conscientious but I've never had a full time job for any length of time because I get frustrated or bored or overwhelmed and choose to leave. I've had periods of Not Coping in my life that feel more like overwhelm than depression or anxiety. I'm currently really struggling to stay regulated and just do basic life tasks, but that could be perimenopause. 🤷

OP posts:
devilspawn · 09/01/2025 12:07

I'm NT and maybe have a quarter of this list, although some are very general so I guess it means if you experience them to a certain level or something (in the same way that everyone has feelings of worry or gets anxious but doesn't actually have an anxiety disorder).

RareMaker · 09/01/2025 12:09

These things can be very undermining to the painful struggle it is like to have adhd and autism. Aside from the quirky social posts etc it's actually awful. Takes over my life. Isn't fun, isn't quirky, is all consuming.

mondaytosunday · 09/01/2025 12:10

Sure - I see a lot of A, quite a bit of C, less so B and D, maybe a bit of E....
I'm not autistic.
A friend says she is and goes on about 'oh that's my autism' when she slightly misspeaks or doesn't pick up on something. But I know her pretty well and I'd not consider her autistic in the sense I know it (she has a masters, raised three children as a single mother and runs a successful business, has a partner and loads of friends), but I guess that's why it's a spectrum, though I can't see how it affects her ability to function as she dyes very well every day.
My niece is autistic, non verbal with cognitive issues and physical disabilities. She is very friendly and fortunately happy. She has no problem looking at people and is very tactile. But she is at a special school and will never live independently. I guess my view is skewed.

JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 09/01/2025 12:11

I mean that list was exceptionally long and I suspect everyone could identify with multiple points on there. I would say that if you are identifying with 50% then it is probably an indicator and would maybe investigate furher. IANAD though.

RuffledKestrel · 09/01/2025 12:11

Autism is a spectrum. You can be diagnosed as "neurotypical" and present with some of the markers for autism. These check list things on the internet are mostly pointless in my opinion.

I am friends with many people diagnosed autistic and also not diagnosed but over the years have came to the conclusion they probably are.
Everyone is different in their presentation of autism. Just as much as every "neurotypical" people differ from each other in life.

(Side note, I hate the term neurotypical but I am refusing to say normal, cause that's even worse I think. There is nothing abnormal about autism in my opinion. Simply for centuries people who thought or behaved a little differently were ostracised and only recently have we discovered as a society that we don't all need to be perfect little drones who think, react and respond to situations in the same way. )

Getting an autism diagnosis can be life changing for some people, as it can help explain why they react or feel the way they do to things. It can also open up the ideas for how to cope with situations that are troublesome.

Adhdsucks · 09/01/2025 12:13

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Isn’t this just, like, … dismissive of the struggles of people who are ND?

Snowfall11 · 09/01/2025 12:14

This website lists being philosophical and all associated behaviors and traits as signs of autism. Preposterous.

Petitedress · 09/01/2025 12:15

I'd say loads of people have the traits in the 'deep thinkers' list. I have those and I'm not autistic.

Hohofortherobbers · 09/01/2025 12:15

Wow that's a long list. I am NT (as far as know) and identify with very few these. Perhaps a maximum of 4 and not significantly.

HeadNorth · 09/01/2025 12:16

Adhdsucks · 09/01/2025 12:13

Isn’t this just, like, … dismissive of the struggles of people who are ND?

Show quote history

No, it is acknowledging the struggles of those who have not been diagnosed (or self-diagnosed) as ND.

Snowfall11 · 09/01/2025 12:18

RuffledKestrel · 09/01/2025 12:11

Autism is a spectrum. You can be diagnosed as "neurotypical" and present with some of the markers for autism. These check list things on the internet are mostly pointless in my opinion.

I am friends with many people diagnosed autistic and also not diagnosed but over the years have came to the conclusion they probably are.
Everyone is different in their presentation of autism. Just as much as every "neurotypical" people differ from each other in life.

(Side note, I hate the term neurotypical but I am refusing to say normal, cause that's even worse I think. There is nothing abnormal about autism in my opinion. Simply for centuries people who thought or behaved a little differently were ostracised and only recently have we discovered as a society that we don't all need to be perfect little drones who think, react and respond to situations in the same way. )

Getting an autism diagnosis can be life changing for some people, as it can help explain why they react or feel the way they do to things. It can also open up the ideas for how to cope with situations that are troublesome.

But autism is abnormal because the majority of people do not have it.

Upstartled · 09/01/2025 12:20

It would be interesting to see how many boxes that the wider population would typically tick, for sure.

Adhdsucks · 09/01/2025 12:22

HeadNorth · 09/01/2025 12:16

No, it is acknowledging the struggles of those who have not been diagnosed (or self-diagnosed) as ND.

Show quote history

Didn’t realise I’d quoted you

HeadNorth · 09/01/2025 12:25

Adhdsucks · 09/01/2025 12:22

Didn’t realise I’d quoted you

Show quote history

You didn't quote me - I just jumped into reply anyway Grin

HPandthelastwish · 09/01/2025 12:29

The problem is that so many people have a voice and make up their own lists because they need to make content. Or take things from other people's list. Having these long, spurious lists isn't going to help anyone.

It's like writing your dissertation solely from Wikipedia.

Yes, I can identify with many of those things but DD is diagnosed autistic and highly likely that my DDad and DBro are too and generally through my paternal tree you can see lots of people who have struggled with social and communication issues. But whilst I identify with these things they don't impact me negatively or substantially. Whereas my DDad and Dbro have struggled all their lives with keeping jobs and relationships and I'm hoping as DD has got support and understands herself that she won't struggle later on.

OTannenbaumOTannenbaum · 09/01/2025 12:30

I'm NT (as far as I know). I identify with nearly all of A and bits of the others.

amicisimma · 09/01/2025 12:31

That list seems to list just about every human trait.

I recognise about 75% of them in myself, some to a lesser degree, some impact me so I have to adjust my life around them. With age I have found that easier. I have no reason to believe I am not NT (apart from recognising traits from a list this afternoon).

Beamur · 09/01/2025 12:35

Lots of autistic children have undiagnosed autistic parents...
Awareness has come a long way for people to recognise their children's behaviour or personality isn't the same as their peers but there might be a reason for it.
During the assessment period they then realise how much reflects them too. My DD has recently been assessed and for a lot of the questions it made me think about my own assumptions of what's 'usual' as she and I are very alike.
There are other aspects of being ND other than ADHD and ASD and I suspect lots and lots of people do have some aspects - maybe sensory issues or executive function but don't tick all the boxes to being diagnosed as ADHD/ASD
The degree to which these differences affect.you are also highly variable.
Add in menopause which also changes your receptors..

Oreyt · 09/01/2025 12:37

Shit lists like this aren't helpful.

Oreyt · 09/01/2025 12:38

My dd has been waiting 3 years for an assessment. She's nearly 13.

Printedword · 09/01/2025 12:40

OP, I feel that website is like a catch all. A lot of NT people will have experienced many of the emotions and feelings listed. There's a lot of diagnosed if you do/diagnosed if you don't on that list. The Comorbid list is missing items and adds in some that aren't usually considered applicable.

One thing about lists as a means of diagnosis is that diagnosis is much more than a series of checklists. We are currently uber focussing on the whole topic of heredity for ASD to the extent that parents almost feel obliged to find someone in the family who might be ASD. Hence massive checklists