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She was supposed to be MY dog!

127 replies

Mydogisamassivetwat · 09/01/2025 10:36

Lighthearted! Ish. My feelings are crushed.

Finally got out of rented and bought a house a couple of years ago so we were in the position to own a dog again.

We got a beautiful golden retriever puppy last year. She’s almost 1 now. I grew up with goldens and had two myself when I was younger and in my first marriage. I love the breed, wouldn’t consider another. Dh has never owned a dog (I met him after my dogs had passed away). He wanted one too, so did the children - my younger two are 10 and 4 so have never had a dog. But, you know, getting a dog was for me, really. I’m the one with the time to spend training, walking.

She loves dh. Dh loves her. It’s like something out of a Disney movie.

I’m at home all day. But does she sit with me? No. She sits in dh office, under his desk, happily pressed up against his legs, “chatting” to his colleagues and their dogs on video calls. When he leaves the house, does she sit with me? No. She stares out the front window, like a fisherman’s wife looking mournfully out to sea until his return. I walk her everyday; take her to lovely places where she can run and sniff to her hearts content. She lives for the moment she can dart back into the front door and literally jump into my husbands arms.

She is very much my husband’s dog and I’m not okay.

Oh and my username - she badly injured me a while ago darting after a squirrel and pulling me over in the process. She has never pulled dh. She trots along side him, looking up at him adoringly. So I stand by calling her a massive twat.

OP posts:
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Theperenniallaunderess · 09/01/2025 14:15

We also have a female golden retriever and she and my husband are the exact same. I get a kiss when he comes home from work and the dog then gets 10 minutes of strokes and tummy rubs and sweet nothings.

Hoppinggreen · 09/01/2025 14:17

Goldies choose their person and thats it. Growing up ours chose My Mum (with me acceptable if she wasn't around) and now ddog has chosen DD (with me as 2nd choice)
Could be offended if I tried harder i suppose

ManchesterLu · 09/01/2025 14:18

I had similar when I got a cat growing up, she preferred my brother. In fact she still prefers my brother, as she's now an old girl living with him! I didn't take her when I moved out because she'd have missed him like mad, and didn't even notice I'd gone! That hurt me sooooo much!

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Toddlerteaplease · 09/01/2025 14:20

Get DH to shave his beard off. And you try a stick on one. And see what happens. 🤣

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/01/2025 14:20

DH didn't want a dog, fought against it for ages. We finally wore him down. Rescued a poor, sad, traumatised doggy from certain death. I convinced them all to not only get a dog, but get a rescue.

Little fucker. We have Life360 which bings when we're near home. If the dog hears the bing he barks and rushes to the door. If it's DH, he runs out and covers him in love. Ditto DD. Me? He rushes to the door, looks down the stairs, turns around and goes in.

He's ALIVE because of me. Warm, fed, walks, treats, everything. Ungrateful arsehole.

And DH LOVES it. There is no love like the love of a man for a dog he didn't want.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 09/01/2025 14:22

I understand when I think how devastated I would be if my dog had chosen DH. Fortunately DH has his own dog which could not be more different from mine in size, shape or character and although I love him I have no desire to steal him or win his heart.

There is of course a simple solution to your situation. Dog number 2 - one each. It works for us.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 09/01/2025 14:24

This happened to me but with my DD (now 14), our DDog sits by the front door waiting for her to come home from school, he literally sleeps on the pillow next to her at night. I just pay the bills and pick up the poop. Gutted.

HellofromJohnCraven · 09/01/2025 14:25

Oh yes. That's our dog completely. Dh lives dog, dog loves dh. I am the second human.

Hoppinggreen · 09/01/2025 14:26

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 09/01/2025 14:22

I understand when I think how devastated I would be if my dog had chosen DH. Fortunately DH has his own dog which could not be more different from mine in size, shape or character and although I love him I have no desire to steal him or win his heart.

There is of course a simple solution to your situation. Dog number 2 - one each. It works for us.

What if BOTH dogs love him best ?

Daffodilpup · 09/01/2025 14:27

MoonDruid · 09/01/2025 10:42

This!

Yes. My male retriever loves me the most - although still pulls on the lead, so not perfect.

Daffodilpup · 09/01/2025 14:30

Mydogisamassivetwat · 09/01/2025 10:52

YES HE DOES!

Should I get a stick on one? I’m that desperate for the validation.

Edited

Or shave his off when he’s asleep?

Mydogisamassivetwat · 09/01/2025 14:31

There will be no second dog!

I did have two together once (pup and her older sister, who the breeder decided not to keep for breeding). That was great but they were crufts style obedient.

While massive twat dog is adorable, training is ongoing and hard (shes more reactive on walks than my previous goldens). I couldn’t imagine another dog in the mix until dh and I have cracked the walk training with her.

I’d be in the corner rocking and crying after a walk and I bet that it would prefer dh and his stupid beard too.

OP posts:
ElaborateCushion · 09/01/2025 14:33

My DH shares your pain! We got two cats so we could "have one each".

Now I have two cats and he has none! He gets to sit alone on a massive 4 seater sofa every night, while I sit on my little 2 seater sofa on the other side of the room, with one cat on my lap (or chest) and the other snuggled up on the sofa beside me! 😂

One of them will sit on his lap if I'm not there, but the minute I get home it's "see ya later, sucker!"

DH is gutted. He just wanted a little mate!

I'm secretly delighted though - most animals seem to prefer me over him - perhaps he smells odd?! 😂

The only dog I've ever come across that preferred him over me was one owned by relatives of DH, they were a gay male couple that had had their dog from a puppy in lockdown and we met them shortly after. The dog was super wary of me, but loved DH. I don't think she'd ever met a woman before!

PiggyPigalle · 09/01/2025 14:37

You love it really, their relationship.

Mydogisamassivetwat · 09/01/2025 14:42

PiggyPigalle · 09/01/2025 14:37

You love it really, their relationship.

Of course I do, which is why I said it was lighthearted.

She’s got a lovely little life, with me, her walk and treat bitch and dh, her one true love - and the children who she absolutely adores too.

OP posts:
MothershipG · 09/01/2025 14:49

When I went to bed last night the dog was sleeping snuggled next to DH with his arm around her & her little head on his shoulder & her front leg across his chest.
Talk about feeling usurped!
Photo to illustrate her supreme cuteness!

She was supposed to be MY dog!
PocketSand · 09/01/2025 15:25

The dog loves me - this is his face when lying on my lap - when he doesn't have his head on my shoulder and face pressed to mine

She was supposed to be MY dog!
NewYorkherewecome · 09/01/2025 15:50

My dog is my dog and will want to sit with me and follows me around. However, when my sister visits a couple of times a year he ignores me and worships her. In the morning he sits on the sofa crying until she gets up, then does a happy dance and sits on her lap.
As soon as she leaves to travel home he immediately comes and sits on my lap, little tart!

Lickityspit · 13/01/2025 09:57

Awww I feel you. My DH isn’t an animal lover and I love all animals. We got a cat and he wasn’t keen at first and now it’s a love story. And like you, I am not ok with it!!! 😂

AnnoyinglyOptimistic · 13/01/2025 10:01

I can't sympathise, as I'm the 'usurper' in our household!

When I met my partner, he had three Labs that were aged 9, 4 and 6 months. He'd had the eldest since she was 8 weeks old, and bred the other two.

Fast forward 3 years and the now 12 year old has abandoned all loyalty to him and is mine, the now 7 year old is still firmly his but the youngest (now 3) is our daughter's best friend. My partner has gone from having 3 dogs to just one! It's the eldest that he's most amused by, for 9 years she was his absolute best friend but now if I'm around it's like he doesn't exist 😂

SnappyDenimHedgehog · 13/01/2025 10:44

I've had dogs all my life,the walker,the feeder,the girls are all dad and my boys that have sadly passed were all me,We currently have 2 girls and a puppy boy, the boy is all of us. My boy that passed last February who I'm still heart broken for,would sit beside my on my sofa,not one dog since has sat there,they all pile next to dad on his sofa,I don't know whether its the fact they knew it was Sam's spot,well the 2 girls knew that,they both grieved for him too,but I totally get where your coming from. My friend has dogs and one of hers absolutely adores me,she will travel 2 miles and leave her mom just for a cuddle with me,and when the dog goes past our house mom gets pulled down the drive,to see me,so strange,.It's a dogs life🤣

RafaFan · 13/01/2025 10:50

My husband and I have had three dogs over the years. We spent equal time doing things with them. The first two always thought I was okay, but he was always top dog in their eyes. It's only now, on our third dog, where the dog thinks I am THE ONE, and my husband is okay. Finally!

MrsMoastyToasty · 13/01/2025 11:05

Toasty Girl Cat (TGC) actually prefers my DM, who hates cats . DM visits about twice a month. As soon as she sits down TGC is inching her way onto her lap. DM doesn't even stroke her - just sits there looking scared.

lessglittermoremud · 13/01/2025 11:35

The only thing to do is to get another dog, a male one would probably fit in well.
We have three dogs, 2 medium sized and one tiny one.
The oldest is all for me, the other (male) adores my husband and the 3rd just loves whoever is charge of food at that time 😂
One of our previous dogs was a Labrador, she was a total Daddy’s girl, so gooey eyed and adoring…. He was the one that picked her up from the rescue centre so we figured she thought of him as her saviour. It didn’t matter what I did, he was the object of her adoration until she passed away.

DuchessDandelion · 13/01/2025 11:50

Having a bad day & this thread is cheering me so much 😆

I'm my friend's cat's favourite person - much to her chagrin as I only actually see him a couple of times a year lol