How to say 'No dogs'?

[LadyPamelaH]

I belong to a local friendship group for women. It works on the basis of anyone arranging events and putting up the announcement on our social media page.

I may arrange a walk (I did a survey and there was some interest.)
However, I've seen that when another member arranged a walk, some women took their dogs along.
I noticed from the chat that one dog was 'lively'.

The venue allows dogs on leads only but nevertheless there is a cafe etc...for a drink afterwards.

I'm not scared of dogs and I don't dislike them, but I admit I don't like them jumping up, slobbering over me, or barking. Is there are nice way of saying 'No dogs' because it may not just be me who feels like that.

I want a relaxing walk where we can all chat and get to know each other, not women trying to control their dogs.

Dog lover here, and I think you absolutely can just say " sorry no dogs on this one" if you are arranging it. People might ignore you of course and if they do, maybe this is not the group for you?

Just say ‘no dogs.’ And accept that some people might not come. And others will. I think that’s probably the end of it isn’t it? Not much more to do or say.

Are you dog allergic? I'm allergic to both dogs and cats.

Dog allergy is nothing like peanut allergy. Most dog allergy sufferers could be in a cafe with a dog and not react unless it was right in front of them, but if your allergy was more severe than that you wouldn't go to a dog friendly venue at all.

FWIW, I agree about cinemas though. My dog would hate being taken to places like that. I don't take her in cafes or shops either, she's much happier walking in the woods or on the moor.

I have been in a few hiking groups over many years, in the past dogs just didn’t appear. These days it’s different. If you are the organiser it’s ok to put sorry no dogs. Some won’t come but then others like you will think great no dogs. I’m one of the great no dogs.

In my little town about half the cafes do not welcome dogs. The most popular cafe in town is dog friendly but is by far the most expensive so I’m fine not going in for both reasons.

I know it’s not the same. But the attitude of some dog owners is unbelievable. I don’t blame bars and cafes for allowing them in, but the attitude of “just go somewhere that doesn’t allow dogs” just doesn’t apply. They’re everywhere. And I live in a city, not talking about country pubs where the dog gets a walker then the owner gets a pint. I’m talking busy, noisy places that aren’t suitable for dogs. But their owners see them as a fashion accessory (or as a substitute for having a personality, but I digress) so insist on bringing them everywhere.

Actually if it is an explicitly dog-friendly venue, dog owners don’t ‘think’ they have the right, they’ve been informed that they actually have it.

The only dickheads are people like you. Your allergy - don’t go. (I have life threatening asthma inducing allergies to small pets and also anaphylaxis to quinoa… my issue to manage, no one else’s).

That’s fine. But applying the same logic in going to eat peanuts on planes. People with allergies can just not go.

But if you're truly dog phobic or allergic then surely you wouldn't want to go to a dog friendly cafe. It would be very easy for the OP to choose a dog free venue but it is odd to choose a dog friendly place to visit then decide No Dogs. The dog allergic/phobic members of her group are still likely to find themselves encountering dogs on the walk or in the cafe by virtue of it being a dog friendly place.

@Sprig1 well, because OP is the one organising it and she is inviting other humans to join her, but not their dogs.

As has already been stated - your logic is flawed: peanut allergies are airborne and airplanes are enclosed spaces with a recycled air system. Pet allergies require significant exposure to danger etc and are not in any shape or form similar, especially in out door and public spaces. Hence airplanes ban the eating of nuts.

And yes, if an airline stated that they do not/will not manage or prohibit the eating of nuts on their crafts and I had a nut allergy, I’d chose an alternative airline…

But other people's dogs are allowed - by dint of the fact that the cafe the OP has chosen allows dogs!

Why do people always lie ?

Did you not see that I agree regarding cinemas and shops?

But this post is about a walk at a NT property, which are often dog friendly places and always have been. That's the issue. It's not about a stroll around John Lewis or a walk through the middle of London followed by dinner at an expensive restaurant. It's about a walk at a place that is very suitable for normal dogs, like mine, who don't get dressed up and fed on cake and taken to the shops and the hairdressing salon.

But of course, this being MN, dog allergy equates to dog phobia and dog hate - if you come within 500 metres of a dog you will instantly die. Because all dogs jump up, slobber and smell and all dog owners are idiots.

I'd love to go on a designated dog-free event. Well, ALL my events are dog-free, as I just veer off getting friendly with dog people, and avoid dog-friendly places.

I'd say:

Meeting on x day, no dogs this time, for the comfort of all.

They totally change the dynamic.

@SirChenjins yes of course, that’s fine. There will be other people in the world with dogs, including in that cafe.

But if I am organising something I think it’s perfectly fine to organise it in line with my own preferences (e.g no dog under the table that I’m sitting at, no stopping while friends pick up dog poo, no worry about dogs getting too close or slobbering near me). If others want to come to that meet up, that’s fine. If not, they can go do something else. Obviously some people might not want to come to that type of event but that’s the risk op is happy to take.

It is no different to saying “I’m organising a girls night at the pub, no boyfriends this time…”

I would say it’s about the OP wanting to arrange a walk and not have dogs there. Which I think is fair, others don’t.

I will say dog owner aresholery is something I’ve only noticed post covid. And some dogs do sit fine and not bother anyone. It’s not the dogs I have a problem with, it’s the owners.

I go to a similar group & there are often dog friendly walks & 'no dogs' walks arranged. No ones ever complained & it's just stated in the organizers post.

There's very different groups that go to dog v no-dogs groups. The dog ones are longer country walks & tend to be more outdoorsy people regardless of whether they bring a dog or not & the 'no dogs' walks tend to be mums with babies or preschool children & they do shorter walks in parks etc.

With our group if you advertised an 8 mile weekend walk in the country but said no dogs you probably wouldn't get much uptake as it would split the regular crowd, same as if you did a weekday walk in a park with a playground but put 'dogs welcome' the usual crowd wouldn't go

I'd say organize your walk & just state 'dog free' but be clear on the activity level as 'dog free' in our group means child friendly, then see how many people sign up & turn up - then you can gauge whether it's worth making it a regular thing.

I think it is unreasonable to say no dogs for a walk at a park. Very likely cafe is dog friendly.

Not unreasonable to not pat the dog and definitely would expect friends to prevent any jumping up/slobbering on anyone. I would address it on the day if any dogs misbehave "can you keep dog away from me please"

Which is fine, but there may be dogs sitting under the next table, getting close to the OP and slobbering(!) over her (unless the group is very small they won't all fit round one table so are likely to be spread out across multiple tables - and certainly none of the NT cafes I've used over the years as a member allow bookings). It takes a moment to pick up dog poo, so the others can carry on walking and the dog owner can catch up.

The no boyfriends analogy doesn't work here as boyfriends are likely to talk and will take up a seat at the pub. They can take themselves off to the loo, so there is that difference...

Can't disagree regarding post-covid dog ownership. I've come across more antisocial dog behaviour in the post-covid years than I ever did in the previous 40 years of walking with my dogs. Yes, it's down to clueless, irresponsible owners, I do agree.

Agree with this - and/or redo the survey where you gathered interest and just ask whether with or without dogs would be a deterrent.

Unless you ask you can’t gauge what the response might look like.

I was in Austria over Christmas and the contrast was stark. All dogs were well behaved and under control. On transport the legally have to be muzzeled and on a lead. Far fewer places allowed dogs inside and the expectation that they would be well behaved much stronger. The type of behaviour you see here wouldn't be tolerated.

No because I joined on the basis of it being a woman’s only group. This is an additional rule, for this specific walk. As I also said, the op can do what they like but it would be less c complicated if they simply chose a place where dogs were not permitted.

But nobody is being forced to join this specific walk - this is what I don’t get people being so upset about. Sounds like there are plenty of events dogs are welcome - why is it such an issue if there is one that they aren’t? People can just… not go? And if nobody goes, then presumably OP won’t arrange another dog-free walk.

@SirChenjins

Really, my point isn’t so much about whether OP should / should not have any issue with dogs in her group at the cafe… my point is more that people should be free to arrange their own life in the way that they wish. If their actions aren’t harming anyone, then with sensible communication we should be able to do the things that we want.

It doesn’t matter if our actions aren’t understood by everyone, we shouldn’t have to explain and justify ourselves all the time.

Simply saying “is anyone interested in joining me at this place to do x and y without dogs as I’m not a huge dog lover” is perfectly reasonable. Then everyone else is entirely within their rights to say yes that suits me or no I’m not interested.

Fwiw, I like dogs, don’t mind sitting next to them in cafes. It’s just that OP said she’s not keen and I think that’s ok. So my response has nothing to do with being anti-dog in any way.