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Original poster

How to say 'No dogs'?

189 replies

LadyPamelaH · 09/01/2025 09:02

I belong to a local friendship group for women. It works on the basis of anyone arranging events and putting up the announcement on our social media page.

I may arrange a walk (I did a survey and there was some interest.)
However, I've seen that when another member arranged a walk, some women took their dogs along.
I noticed from the chat that one dog was 'lively'.

The venue allows dogs on leads only but nevertheless there is a cafe etc...for a drink afterwards.

I'm not scared of dogs and I don't dislike them, but I admit I don't like them jumping up, slobbering over me, or barking. Is there are nice way of saying 'No dogs' because it may not just be me who feels like that.

I want a relaxing walk where we can all chat and get to know each other, not women trying to control their dogs.

OP posts:
ABunchOfBadBitches · 09/01/2025 09:59

Hmm it’s kind of like saying, ‘people don’t need to post on AIBU when their post would fit more on the Relationships board.’ Even if there’s an alternative, people can still do what they want.

You can state no dogs because there is other events where people can bring their dogs. But if they want to bring their dogs to come along to the cafe (and it’s allowed) then you can’t exactly stop them

mrsm43s · 09/01/2025 10:02

LadyPamelaH · 09/01/2025 09:46

Kindy, I can do what I want as it's the organiser's decision. No one is forced to come, with or without a dog.

The walk is not the main point- it's more 'let's walk for 30 minutes then get together in the cafe.'

It's not a 'dog walking event'. Those are arranged by other members usually over open fields and public footpaths in the countryside.

This is a stately home venue, with smallish grounds. It's also expensive to get in (unless you're a member) so not exactly a 'cheap' dog walking venue.

I've had enough helpful suggestions, so thanks.

Edited
Show quote history

Ah I see, you're a "I can do what I want" person.

If this is about meeting for a coffee, why not arrange and advertise a Cafe visit rather than a walk in a dog friendly venue?

If you organise a walk in a dog friendly venue and ban dogs (that are perfectly entitled to be there), you aren't likely to have many people take you up on the offer. People who want to go on walks without dogs there don't tend to want to go to dog friendly walking venues, because there will be loads of dogs there.

If what you really want is a coffee meet up in a cafe, then arrange just that. And choose a dog-free cafe if you don't want dogs there.

Tisthedamnseason · 09/01/2025 10:02

Sprig1 · 09/01/2025 09:17

Why should your preference for no dogs trump those who are happy for dogs to be there?

Because this event is one that OP is organising.

She's not trying to control other events.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Dogs
Rachmorr57 · 09/01/2025 10:04

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 09/01/2025 10:05

Sprig1 · 09/01/2025 09:17

Why should your preference for no dogs trump those who are happy for dogs to be there?

Because if I’ve read the OP correctly she’ll be the one organising the walk. So of course she should set it up according to her preference - people can choose to come or not.

I’d just say clearly “no dogs” on the post.

Nevergettheusername · 09/01/2025 10:08

The idea that because dogs are allowed in the venue means you cant ask people not to bring them on this womens only get together doesn’t make sense to me. Thus argument followed logically means you could bring husbands, male partner’s, children, whatever…

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 09/01/2025 10:09

I never understand why so many people complain about dogs ‘jumping up’. Do they keep sausages in their pockets, or what?

I walk nearly every day in a big park with lots of dog walkers, dogs usually off lead - and it so very rarely happens, even though as a dog lover I often stop and have a word with them.

LarkinAboot · 09/01/2025 10:14

Some of the responses on here are intense.
OP doesn't want to cleanse the entire site of dogs for her visit - some serious over reactions.
No dogs is perfectly reasonable and appropriate.

I love the suggestions for just being really clear.
As someone who isn't always I'd probably frame it as a cafe visit with a stroll around the grounds before / after.

BarnacleBeasley · 09/01/2025 10:19

Nevergettheusername · 09/01/2025 10:08

The idea that because dogs are allowed in the venue means you cant ask people not to bring them on this womens only get together doesn’t make sense to me. Thus argument followed logically means you could bring husbands, male partner’s, children, whatever…

She could limit it to female dogs?

I think the issue is more likely to be that it's a group for getting to know people, and being generally friendly, so imposing restrictions feels less friendly and welcoming. Especially when people have already indicated their interest in a walk (some of whom may be assuming they can bring their dogs, due to precedent) without having been told it would be dog free.

It also depends on how much authority the group normally feels the organiser should have - for a casual event like a walk, I'd normally assume the organiser is more there to make the initial suggestion, set the date, and commit to being there so people know they won't turn up and be the only one. I would be slightly taken aback if the organiser expected full ownership and set rules around what would otherwise be a very casual event in a public place.

BlueLu · 09/01/2025 10:25

My mum is part of a small walking group that started in a wellbeing kind of meet up. She has a dog but has no problem not taking him, even when they go to places she would usually take him. Her group specified from the beginning no dogs and no grandchildren so that the women could chat and get to know each other without the distractions of looking after anything else. I think it's a lovely idea to arrange a time for anyone might not want dogs in the group for any reason.

CoubousAndTourmalet · 09/01/2025 10:25

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 09/01/2025 10:09

I never understand why so many people complain about dogs ‘jumping up’. Do they keep sausages in their pockets, or what?

I walk nearly every day in a big park with lots of dog walkers, dogs usually off lead - and it so very rarely happens, even though as a dog lover I often stop and have a word with them.

I don't understand it either. It's like an obsession on here that every dog jumps up/slobbers/smells/barks/is reactive. It's very weird. The reality of actually being around dogs is nothing like that. I have a puppy so I'm walking every day in areas with a lot of dogs, I honestly can't remember the last time a random dog jumped up at me or slobbered on me...

CouldItBeAnyMoreObvious · 09/01/2025 10:30

LadyPamelaH · 09/01/2025 09:02

I belong to a local friendship group for women. It works on the basis of anyone arranging events and putting up the announcement on our social media page.

I may arrange a walk (I did a survey and there was some interest.)
However, I've seen that when another member arranged a walk, some women took their dogs along.
I noticed from the chat that one dog was 'lively'.

The venue allows dogs on leads only but nevertheless there is a cafe etc...for a drink afterwards.

I'm not scared of dogs and I don't dislike them, but I admit I don't like them jumping up, slobbering over me, or barking. Is there are nice way of saying 'No dogs' because it may not just be me who feels like that.

I want a relaxing walk where we can all chat and get to know each other, not women trying to control their dogs.

You assume the women cannot control their dogs. Very arrogant of you. They may have perfectly controlled dogs.

HappyNewFeckingYear · 09/01/2025 10:30

You are not arranging a walk, you are arranging a wander around to view a garden and a jolly good chat at the cafe. Bill it as what it is and say 'no dogs'.

eightIsNewNine · 09/01/2025 10:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

She can't dictate what they DO.
However, she can dictate that they DON'T join this specific meeting with a dog.

Of course she can't stop them from accidentally being in the same place in the same time with their dogs, but that would be a bit obnoxious.

helpfulperson · 09/01/2025 10:33

If you organise a walk in a dog friendly venue and ban dogs (that are perfectly entitled to be there), you aren't likely to have many people take you up on the offer

But surely that's the point of this type of group to offer a wide range of activities so people can attend those that suit. So even if one other person who would prefer no dogs comes it's still a successful outing.

eightIsNewNine · 09/01/2025 10:36

BarnacleBeasley · 09/01/2025 10:19

She could limit it to female dogs?

I think the issue is more likely to be that it's a group for getting to know people, and being generally friendly, so imposing restrictions feels less friendly and welcoming. Especially when people have already indicated their interest in a walk (some of whom may be assuming they can bring their dogs, due to precedent) without having been told it would be dog free.

It also depends on how much authority the group normally feels the organiser should have - for a casual event like a walk, I'd normally assume the organiser is more there to make the initial suggestion, set the date, and commit to being there so people know they won't turn up and be the only one. I would be slightly taken aback if the organiser expected full ownership and set rules around what would otherwise be a very casual event in a public place.

Edited
Show quote history

There is no neutral position.
Having dogs on the meeting feels less friendly and welcoming for non-dog people.

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 09/01/2025 10:37

I’m puzzled by the number of people who seem to be upset by the thought of a “no dogs” meet-up.

Surely you can’t expect everything in the world to cater for dogs? As long as it’s clear, what exactly is the issue?

Tisthedamnseason · 09/01/2025 10:39

Because if I’ve read the OP correctly she’ll be the one organising the walk. So of course she should set it up according to her preference - people can choose to come or not.

I agree. OP's preference on date, time, location also trump other people's, because she's organising it.

It sounds like the kind of thing where people suggest events, and if you want to go you go, and if it doesn't suit for whatever reason (you're busy, it doesn't appeal, you don't have childcare and can't take your child with you etc) you don't go. I don't see why dogs have to be allowed at every event, any more than every event needs to be at the weekend because most people work during the week, or whatever other stipulation some people might want to insist on so that they can always go.

If it turns out everyone hates the idea of no dogs and so no one shows up, oh well, OP probably won't suggest it again. Doesn't matter.

ChristmasKelpie · 09/01/2025 10:51

Just say "DOG FREE WALK" if Dog owners take offence, tough. I am a dog owner and it wouldn't bother me because i understand many people are fed up of badly trained dogs and their poorly mannered owners.

WhatNoRaisins · 09/01/2025 10:52

Agree with PP, if it's no dogs then I'd make it very clear. People do make assumptions about dogs.

Beekeepingmum · 09/01/2025 10:53

mrsm43s · 09/01/2025 10:02

Ah I see, you're a "I can do what I want" person.

If this is about meeting for a coffee, why not arrange and advertise a Cafe visit rather than a walk in a dog friendly venue?

If you organise a walk in a dog friendly venue and ban dogs (that are perfectly entitled to be there), you aren't likely to have many people take you up on the offer. People who want to go on walks without dogs there don't tend to want to go to dog friendly walking venues, because there will be loads of dogs there.

If what you really want is a coffee meet up in a cafe, then arrange just that. And choose a dog-free cafe if you don't want dogs there.

Show quote history

To be fair - she is not likely to have many people with dogs take her up on the offer, which is presumably one of the objectives. Not everyone like dogs. National Trust places are child friendly doesn't mean its not reasonable to have an adults trip .

Kbroughton · 09/01/2025 10:56

People saying you cant say no dogs as a public space is not right, You are organising a dog free dog walk as part of a friendship group, so that's fine, stipulate whatever you want. I am part of a number of walking groups that organise walks, and some of them are dog free. I don't go to them, as I have dogs! But they are attended. Just be clear, don't lie - you don't actually have to explain yourself. Just say I am organising a walk 'sorry no dogs'. Most reasonable people will understand. As a dog lover, I totally get that some people don't want to go on walks with dogs, and I wouldn't want to inflict my dogs on them. If anyone gets offended then that's on them.

DogInATent · 09/01/2025 10:59

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 09/01/2025 10:37

I’m puzzled by the number of people who seem to be upset by the thought of a “no dogs” meet-up.

Surely you can’t expect everything in the world to cater for dogs? As long as it’s clear, what exactly is the issue?

As per usual, it's the OPs tone that generates upset rather than the no dogs but. For some reason the anti-dog sisterhood can't resist using 200 words when 20 would be sufficient. So every dog is an out of control, jumping-up, slobbering monster that would eat a small child as soon as look at it. Plus, she's never witnessed any of the problems she claims occur on these walks (she's never been on one of the walks before).

And it's a goady post in any case. Surely no one is so deficient in the adulting department they can't figure out how to put "No dogs please" on an invite.

Maddy70 · 09/01/2025 11:01

Wait ... You're trying to restrict digs in a walk (which will definitely have dogs on it anyway) and you are going to a dog friendly cafe ...

It's a weird suggestion leave it be

Nevergettheusername · 09/01/2025 11:03

BlueLu · 09/01/2025 10:25

My mum is part of a small walking group that started in a wellbeing kind of meet up. She has a dog but has no problem not taking him, even when they go to places she would usually take him. Her group specified from the beginning no dogs and no grandchildren so that the women could chat and get to know each other without the distractions of looking after anything else. I think it's a lovely idea to arrange a time for anyone might not want dogs in the group for any reason.

Absolutely!!

I am a five pet owner and I would enjoy this too