How to say 'No dogs'?

[LadyPamelaH]

I belong to a local friendship group for women. It works on the basis of anyone arranging events and putting up the announcement on our social media page.

I may arrange a walk (I did a survey and there was some interest.)
However, I've seen that when another member arranged a walk, some women took their dogs along.
I noticed from the chat that one dog was 'lively'.

The venue allows dogs on leads only but nevertheless there is a cafe etc...for a drink afterwards.

I'm not scared of dogs and I don't dislike them, but I admit I don't like them jumping up, slobbering over me, or barking. Is there are nice way of saying 'No dogs' because it may not just be me who feels like that.

I want a relaxing walk where we can all chat and get to know each other, not women trying to control their dogs.

I like this one. And @Cloacina's. Most of the other 'polite but firm' formulations would make the organiser sound a bit weird and passive-aggressive, and would put me off even if I didn't have or want to bring a dog. Which is not the goal if you're trying to get to know new people.

But why would you want that dog walk to be in exactly the same time and location as a meetup you know about and that you know is intended to be dog-free? Assuming this is not part of your routine and you’re just doing it to make some kind of weird protest about group organisers being able to decide what kind of event they want to arrange,

Yes it does matter, surely that is obvious?

I have 2 dogs. It would not bother me to leave them at home for a social event such as you suggest. I rarely take them to cafes anyway, it’s torture for them, we are all eating and talking and they have to lie quietly. Defeats the purpose of their walk 😀.

That said, I would be as likely to poll the group to see if anyone wanted to do a hill walk with me, plus dogs, as that sort of thing is right up my street ( at a different time, )

Don’t overthink it. The point is that you meet people you have things in common with surely.

Just call it a 'dog-free walk with a tea and cake', when asking others if they are interested . The dog owners will know to leave their dogs at home or pass on it.

These people have the same mentality as people on a plane who eat numbers when asked not due to allergies. Entirely self centered and entitled.

And that just shows you have no understanding of other people's fears and dislikes.

I think this a great way to say it.

Dogs, however lovely they can be, are distracting. The meet up group is about a group of women getting together, getting to know one another, free from distractions.

If several people start bringing dogs, I can guarantee it will turn into a dog walking thing & the talk will turn to the dogs! (I know this from first hand experience!!)

Hmm, I meet a friend where there are lots of off lead dogs - she’s really not keen on dogs and a bit nervous - but she’s ok with venue. I have taken my smaller, older dog who is a dream and responds to head and hand signals. My friend loves her. I’ve never taken my big, young dog as although he doesn’t jump up or lick, I do need to focus my attention on him in case of on lead dogs.
If the owner in your group doesn’t have much awareness of her dogs impact on the group dynamics then only polite but blunt will work. This might mean she won’t attend; it wouldn’t stop me but some dogs can’t be left alone.

I agree with the OP. Her event so she can specify no dogs if she wants to and doesn't have to give a reason either - someone else can organise a muddy ramble with wellies and spaniels and assorted cockapoos if they get the urge.

You could specify it's a dog-free event to ensure those with allergies/phobias/dislike of dogs are able to participate.

Because she is arranging the event. You might as well ask the question, “Why does your preference for a walk trump other people’s preference to go to the cinema?”. 🙄

Some people are allergic to dogs or phobic, others just don’t like them much or find they detract from the walk, some people love dogs but can’t have a pet and would love a walk with dogs, some people think their badly trained dog is more important than anyone else… 🙄 There is a place for dog walks and dog free walks.

This first bit!

Could you say "well behaved, well controlled dogs on leads welcome" instead?

1. Why should she, if what she wants is no dogs at this particular group event?
2. Most dog owners think their dog is well-behaved and well-controlled. They aren’t all correct about that (or have different interpretations of what it means in practice)

Agree with every word. As for making new friends, dogs being allowed would sort it for me.
Dog lovers? Yes.
Soppy dog owners who refer to their fur babies and take them everywhere? No

If you've got a social media group where you chat, could you not just start a discussion. Say that you have been wondering whether it is worth organising a walk without dogs and were wondering if there would be much interest. If there are large numbers in the group, you could perhaps arrange two different walks., one for dogs to join and another dog free one and people could join whichever they prefer.

Because nobody is adversely affected by not having a dog there (assuming not a guide dog). The opposite is not true.

My not having a pet dog does not affect anyone else in any way, Other peoples' pets definitely do affect me.

Even if everyone on the walk is ok with it, what happens if dogs don't get on? How do you decide whose dog is allowed and whose isn't? it also ends up dominating the conversation.

I know it's a strange concept, but it is ok to go for a walk and have a chat without having encumbrances along (kids, dogs, husbands).

Absolutely agree and it’s lovely OP is getting this space going for a group of women

I often go on walks with friends. These friends know I and another friend are uncomfortable around dogs, so while my friends might ask the group if they could bring someone else, they wouldn’t ask to bring someone with a dog. They may go on another walk with a dog owner without me.

I feel like if you organise an event in a public area and say no dogs when dogs are allowed you are going to come across as unfriendly.

Would you feel the same about an adults-only meet up somewhere that children are allowed?

Or indeed a women-only meeting somewhere where men are allowed?

@ViolinsPlayGentlyOn no they are all reasonable and I'm not sure why.
Maybe because there's so many dog people around
I have a dog but he is quite high maintenance so I wouldn't take him on an event like that.

I just wanted to thank you @LadyPamelaH for organising this, I would be much more comfortable to come to a meet up like this and at this time of the year if it’s no dogs event. I wouldn’t be keen on sitting inside the cafe while people trying to manage dogs/ talking about dogs but at the same time I wouldn’t be keen on sitting outside at this weather.

No because everyone either thinks their dog falls under this category or they have some sort of exemption because the owner thinks they're cute and not problematic.

I tried to enforce this at a Airbnb I run and you'd be amazed what owners think constitutes "well behaved".