The number of people going on and on about their wonderful alcohol free lives

[Eastie77Returns]

It’s a bit boring now. Every other Opinion essay or online article today is written by someone waxing lyrical about their decision to stop drinking and how incredible their lives are now followed by judgy comments about the poor saps who still drink, use it as an emotional crutch and are too wine addled to realise they are drinking themselves into an early grave. It’s all a bit sanctimonious and honestly…who cares?

People do notice though. They buy a round and ask you what you'd like, I'd reply a juice or a coke or whatever and then they'd say are you sure/have a proper drink or whatever. Why can't people just accept my choice of drink?

Yes..this. You’ve written the point I wanted to make. A lot of these articles are written along the lines of “now I no longer drink I no longer suffer from crushing anxiety, have 4 day hangovers, drink 2 bottles of wine every evening, engage in self destructive behaviours..etc. As if everyone who drinks lives like that!

But surely this is indicative that their target audience are exactly those people who HAVE lived like that and want to make a change and so would find such an article inspiring and helpful which is a good thing.

If this isnt you, then why on earth are you constantly reading all these copious articles you claim are everywhere if they dont apply to you?

What a weird post and what a weird thing to get annoyed about. People are suggesting its touched a nerve because there really is no other explanation why you keep reading articles that apparently make you so angry 😂

Exactly! I would love it if people STFU about what I choose to drink but they dont. If you go out with a group of people who love to drink you inevitably get snarky comments and pressure to join them. I have never once said to anyone "why are you drinking wine??? why dont you have xyz instead?- much more fun" and yet non drinkers get this crap all the time which is exactly why push back is needed. Its the drinkers who should bore off with their alcohol breath and unwanted pressure!

I agree with live and let live, eh? But don’t see what’s it’s got to do with my view or comment that I made.

My comment was in relation to what the OP said about the influx of articles about going alcohol free. These are much like the influx of articles about going meatless etc. I don’t feel many of these articles are true journalism about the dangers of alcoholism, which was based on the comment that I made.

Its fine that you disagree with my point and I’m very sorry for your experiences.

There's an awful lot of defensive comments from both sides.

I think some people could do with reading the Dry January thread over in Chat. People do it for a number of reasons and it's not to be smug or sanctimonious or to post all over social media.

I did it last year because I found myself drinking more and more, a couple of gins on Friday night became 4 doubles on a Friday night and the same on Saturday or I'd get through 16 bottles of beer a weekend. The worst thing was I was sitting drinking on my own sat watching tv not out with friends. For someone who could take it or leave it that was the turning point for me. I'm very much a social drinker but I realised it was becoming part of my every day life.

I never have people trying to force an alcoholic drink on me, I think some people need better friends and colleagues if that is happening to them.

If your skin shows distress like that after a drink, think of it as your body’s way of saying please don’t have this.

This. Alcohol flushing means your body cannot process alcohol well and its releasing histamine into your system causing redness and inflammation. Alcohol is regarded as a poison by the body regardless of how nicely it's packaged up which is why your liver works hard to get rid of it so quickly.

I’m actually really sorry if my earlier (1st comment) did seem really negative and invalidating. I really appreciate that lots of people’s experiences with reducing or cutting out alcohol is different.

my original comment came from frustration at social media and magazine platforms that foist this stuff on us nearly every year.

I think that for some, if not many people, the reality is that a) no ordinary person eats ortho, is precisely the correct weight, is teetotal, exercises religiously, sleeps precisely the right amount etc etc and b) I think quite a few people have taken serious steps to address whichever of these things which are 'wrong'- and have been disappointed in the result.

I, personally, in my early 30s, went to the gym 2-3 times a week, did 2 classes, cycled 15kms every day, went vegetarian, minimal processed foods, minimal alcohol for a period of 5 months. I was a zealot.

And, to my disappointment, it made all but no difference to me. I lost a small amount of weight, I was a little fitter although I didn't develop any new muscle definition, and my general mood wasn't magically elevated.

This can come as a surprise to those who are apparently 'transformed' by dropping a 7 unit a week alcohol habit!

I agree with this. I think part of it is the idea that you've been denied something you like. When I was injured and couldn't run, I thought about it all the time and wanted to do it a lot more. Even though I run about once or twice a week normally.
I've never managed more than a couple of days without sugar, but no one says I'm addicted to sugar or exercise. I've lived with an alcoholic. It was the worst period of my life. But now most people deal with alcohol is very, very different. He didn't drink to have fun or a treat or to wind down; he drank because he couldn't get through a day without it. Unless of course, it was the following day and he was hurling bile into a jug all day.

I don't see these. I assume algorithms send them your way. Maybe it's a hint?

I quite like that not-drinking is the new drinking. I now know loads of people who've given up, and as I've never been a big drinker myself I now feel I fit in better.

Well obviously. The poster I asked mentioned it alongside peri, as I'm unsure if I'm peri or not and it was a new occurance I wondered if it could indicate peri 🙂

I think it's almost inevitable at this time of year.

I consider myself very lucky to not have to be all or nothing about alcohol.

I certainly notice a difference between the kind of consumption I have on high days and holidays v not at all but for me there is no discernible health advantage from my usual moderate drinking to none at all, and a considerable overall wellbeing disadvantage and I just enjoy actually two drinks in a sitting and can leave it there. Don't feel any need to do dry January as I never carry on with Christmas levels of drinking and revert to my usual couple of drinks on a Friday and Saturday evening.

It must be really tiresome for people to have to justify their low or non consumption. It would irritate the hell out of me.

I'm not on Social Media so I'm not served any articles via an algorithm. I see this influx of moralising 'journalism' in magazines and newspapers that I subscribe to which is why it's a bit annoying. But obviously I can just scroll past them, which I now generally do. I'd just prefer it if the space was taken up with more interesting articles.

Any good examples?

I find it really boring too. I do dry January regularly easily, for years. I don't harp on about it though. Nor at any other time of the year. If I fancy 4 drinks one day, none for a month or so, I will. I don't feel any better from cutting back. No weight loss, no better sleep. I don't feel any better health wise, I don't have any anxiety anyway, so how's that gonna improve? Wish everyone would just stop going on about it.

Thanks for your reply 🙂. I think perhaps I misunderstood your post.

To be honest I think I'm just fed up with constant lectures about almost everything these days and the suggestion that if you do not adopt the suggested improved lifestyles you are somehow deficient.

The anti UPF experts who tell us we will all develop diabetes and drop down dead unless we put down the Quavers and chocolate biscuits NOW.

Greta scolding anyone who steps foot on a plane instead of taking 2 months to travel by boat to other countries like she does (we don’t all have the free time you have, Greta)

The parenting gurus who’ve convinced a generation of parents that they will raise an emotionally stunted child unless they adopt child led rearing, remove all screens, make all interactions a learning opportunity and monitor the kids every fucking move.

I could go on.

I think all the advice makes people anxious and defensive. There are experts everywhere telling you how to manage every aspect of your life.

How on earth did the human race survive before all these influencers shared their wisdom on SM?

I think I'm just old and grumpy😅

Oh, well, I do look at some newspapers and magazines but I don't subscribe to any. I'm pretty sure they still use algorithms to decide what to push at you though. But maybe you need to choose different publications?

Also, I flew five times last year and never got a single memo from Greta.

Maybe I'm just better at ignoring stuff I'm not interested in.

See I see quite the opposite. Pre social media there was a paucity of information so you were expected to do things the same way as others through word of mouth or a not very diverse press. Whereas now you see lots of different approaches and a plurality of information. Makes me less anxious to be able to find others that share my ways of seeing the world and doing things rather than being expected to conform as I felt back pre social media. The world feels far more live and let live now.

I don't feel scolded, or told to do things one way, or deficient. Maybe social media would suit you better than subscriptions?

It's really boring and embarrassing listening to grown ups bang on about 'wine o'clock' too, though.

To be honest I think I'm just fed up with constant lectures about almost everything these days and the suggestion that if you do not adopt the suggested improved lifestyles you are somehow deficient

If you view someone feeling healthier and happier from adopting a sober lifestyle as a "lecture" then thats entirely on you. I have seen articles on being teetotal and never have I ever seen one that literally scolds people for drinking or lectures them. Usually its just someone being vulnerable and honest and explaining why they did it and how much better they feel - often its a result of their previous problematic drinking so they should be applauded for making such a change.

I would ask yourself why you seem to feel so apparently judged and "deficient" constantly by others lifestyle choices. Thats coming from within you, not from other people......

If you get your information online OP the topics you dislike, that you think you are being lectured about are easy to avoid. Same if you stream TV, you are no longer beholden to what is actually on live.

What do you want to read about? Because it's probably out there somewhere. Which magazines/newspapers do you subscribe to? It might be time for a New Year change to see if a different publication is more your fit.

I find the development of society fascinating. So quite enjoy the crazy parenting strategies, one thing is nowadays is it's much more acceptable for dads to be just as mushy about their babies which is lovely in real life. And that there are scientists going after the industrial food companies with research to back up their claims. I don't find any of this a waste of time reading about. But it's not for everyone I understand that.

I skip over interior design (our own bores me anyone else's is irrelevant), gardening, wouldn't know a Strictly or Love Island dancer/contestant if I tripped over them in Selfridges, skincare has gone beyond my understanding and opinion columns on what people would do if they were the PM are very predictable and unrealistic.

There are great articles in The Economist, New Scientist, Financial Times, some broadsheets if you want a more heady, calmer, more balanced and informed bunch of articles. To get away from the shallow lifestyle lecturing ones.

It's the drinkers who should bore off with their alcohol breath and unwanted pressure!

Yes! 8 times I was searched out at an event once, by the same person, who, the more pissed they got, the more times they felt they had to remind me how boring I am.
Erm, ok!