The number of people going on and on about their wonderful alcohol free lives

[Eastie77Returns]

It’s a bit boring now. Every other Opinion essay or online article today is written by someone waxing lyrical about their decision to stop drinking and how incredible their lives are now followed by judgy comments about the poor saps who still drink, use it as an emotional crutch and are too wine addled to realise they are drinking themselves into an early grave. It’s all a bit sanctimonious and honestly…who cares?

That’s really not true (although I regularly se it repeated as a not so subtle dig!

I’ve seen a friend who used to be interesting and post about a mixture of topics, events, family etc suddenly make a lifestyle choice to go alcohol free, and it become their whole personality.

They insist they never had a problem with alcohol before, but it now seems to consume them as a topic - almost everything they say and do is now filtered through this lens of “I don’t drink any more, alcohol is poison…”. This multi-faceted person now appears to define themselves by the fact they don’t drink. Hearing them still go on about it years later is, to be honest, very dull.

I think watching a friend change like that does play “a significant role in your life”. By contrast I know other people who don’t drink but barely mention it - it is never an issue and they have so many other things to say.

It's January. All these people with their wonderful alcohol free lives are 9 days in, it is starting to feel a bit harder and they need to feel better about that.
I did 9 months dry in 2022, and honestly, I did feel so much better.
Don't care what anyone else does though.

Actually, when you stop drinking plenty of people do care. You would not believe the comments I have had when simply choosing a soft drink instead of wine or beer. I never made an issue of giving up drinking ever, never talked about, never commented on anyone else's drink choice and yet I got loads of comments like "surely you can have just one?", "oh come on, dont be so boring" etc.

You are being very naive if you dont recognise how much our society reinforces alcohol as a necessary social lubricant and therefore when you do give it up, you are essentially swimming against the tide. Deaths from alcohol have risen dramatically over the years and so if people want to highlight the benefits of a sober life why the heck not? surely its good to have a counter view to the idea that every occasion must be marked with alcohol. If you want to still drink then have at it, literally noone cares, but promoting an alternative lifestyle option is not a bad thing in my view.

I gave up alcohol in April because my DH had to give up alcohol after being diagnosed with cancer - it makes him ill now and I also want to be able to drive at a moments notice in case he has to get to A&E - HOWEVER.... I don't feel any different health-wise since giving it up, I mean maybe I'm healthier inside but I don't feel any different at all. And, I really really miss it. And the fact is, if the situation changed right now and he made a miraculous recovery today, then I would have a double vodka and coke in my hand by 4.30pm. And my God would I enjoy it. Everything in moderation I say, no need to go tee-total if you don't have to, just enjoy a drink now and then without going over the top. If you're pouring gin on your cornflakes then there's a problem.

placemarking for when the op comes back to wax lyrical about the benefits of not drinking.

only joking @Eastie77Returns but I think a lot of those articles are by people who thought “yeah, yeah, whatever” until they tried sobriety and then feel compelled to write their “no really, it’s true” article as if they’ll be any more believable. It’s a sort of narcissism. “You have to believe it because I’m saying it”

A certain proportion of all reformed previous ..... drinker/omnivore/smoker/vaper/whatever are sanctimonious about it. My XH raved about not eating meat and how great it was for the environment and his health, Ive very rarely eaten meat for the whole of my life couldn't GAF. He quietly slipped back into eating more and more meat overtime, no big announcement for that change, gave me a laugh. I don't really drink anymore but wouldn't announce it let alone rave about it. Anyone taking these things to either extreme is annoying, not just the sanctimonious ones. The OMG not drinking has changed my life people are annoying but so are you can't have fun without alcohol people.

https://youtube.com/shorts/t8g3GZMCO9M?si=gMdtZUhwi3ptq62D

Greg Davies has it right! 🤣

I haven't noticed this.
I'd welcome a change in social acceptance that favours non drinkers though. I don't drink alcohol, not through any pious choice - it just doesn't agree with me.
It can be hard being the only non drinker on a night out - mainly when around regular/heavy drinkers, many of whom I suspect know they drink too much thus want the reassurance that its not just them (so they'll try to pursuade you to drink with them). So, selfishly, I'd quite like not drinking to be somewhat normalised!

Could I ask what you mean by a 'facial reaction'? Asking because think I've had an odd reaction a couple of times but I'm not sure why. I don't drink often so am not sure how 'new' this is iyswim - never occurred to me that it coud be peri.

I think evangelicals about any facet of basic self care are very boring. I applaud their fervour - I wish they’d be a bit more self aware about not preaching to people who have been managing themselves perfectly well already

everyone has a boring aunt who jumped on the ‘I quit sugar’ wagon and wouldn’t shut up about it at family events

or a cousin who got very into running / cross fit and made it her entire personality for a while.

and one has to sit nodding, cross eyed in your well nourished Pilates teaching body for hours while they hold forth at you for ever about how your life would improve if you were more like them.

I love a Friday glass of wine, once a month or so I love going for dinner with friends and having four glasses of wine. I don’t think the quality of my life would be measurably improved by cutting it out entirely. I too would like to filter out the endless sobriety push - but I suspect it’s a message a lot of people need!

There's lots of evidence (link below) that peer support and hearing other people's experience is one of the key indicators for recovery of addiction. So maybe if it irks you just try and remember that it might be really helpful for someone else.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/recovery-support-services-and-lived-experience-initiatives/part-1-introducing-recovery-peer-support-and-lived-experience-initiatives

It happens a lot to many people, I know this from personal experience but also friends who don’t drink having shared similar stories.

Many others in the thread have said the same about them or their partners being questioned or pressured over non-drinking.

But I am glad it didn’t happen to you!

It's no more boring than people who bang on about being drunk or how much they enjoy alcohol.

You only have to look in card shops and at the limited drinks available with supermarket meals for 2 deals to see just how much alcohol is being pushed on us all from the age of 18.
a lot of pubs seem to have cheaper alcoholic drinks than soft drinks too.
i drink occasionally but often have sober nights out when I dont want to spend lots of money on drinks and taxis so im not against drinking whatsoever but our culture is one where you are seen as ‘weird’ for not joining in or get accused of being ‘secretly pregnant’ or ‘boring’ for choosing to go out and stay sober. I think it’s good that there’s less people drinking now as alcohol causes lots of problems with drink driving, higher risks of cancer, injuries from fights and falling over etc.
I also have the best cheap nights out sober and love being able to drive myself home and get warm in the car listening to my music playlist :)

Perfect example of what I said in my comment above. Too many drinkers trying to pressure non drinkers to drink.

DH and share a bottle of wine on Friday night with dinner and do the same on Saturday night. On Saturday night, we have a single shot of spirits as well. That's it. No other beer, etc. Decent diet, daily walk, enough sleep, we feel fine.

I've never thought moderate drinking did anyone any harm, but to each their own.

I got into a terrible habit of eating two much sugar and crap in my diet for a couple of months last year, I was waking with a banging headache and feeling rather awful most days.

I stopped and the change was incredible within a few days.

So I can understand if people have been drinking in excess and it alters there sleep, the way the wake in the mornings etc

When they stop they want to shout about it and tell others

I don't give up drinking for January as I rarely drink anyway.

It’s not just about own preferences. Alcohol in the amount and frequency that many people drink it (at home mainly!) is incredibly damaging. We all pay for that damage in our healthcare. Alcohol is ingrained and to be honest I’ve had it all my life the other was as I rarely drink and people seem to think I’m a freak and bang on and on about how much they like drinking, how they love a wine at the end of the day, how relaxed it makes them feel and how bizarre that I don’t feel the same.
So yeah, as a non drinker - time for a taste of your own medicine maybe!

Urgh yes- THIS! Have you not seen all those stupid "mummy needs wine" memes and brags about getting so wasted as if it's some kind of personal achievement to get shitfaced. Nothing more boring than that.

I have only ever seen drinkers pressuring people to drink alcohol, never seen it the other way around. Must have touched a nerve for you OP.

Well…yes. If all you ever posted about on social media was the benefits of drinking, with links to statistics and inspirational quotes about getting pissed, if you kept mentioning how many years you’ve been drinking for now, if you mentioned daily how amazing you feel as a drinker and how you never felt that way when you were alcohol free, that would be terribly boring!

I think alcohol is now being targeted in the same way tobacco was. Objectively there is overwhelming evidence that damage is done even in moderation but people are willing to carry on drinking( I’m one of them😂).

Completely agree with all of this. Alcohol is pushed in so many ways.

I absolutely love Eastenders but a friend of mine who also loves Easties and has an alcoholic father pointed something out to me that I genuinely hadn’t noticed.

The show is constantly showing alcohol as the way to seek comfort or even to have a good conversation with someone . Anyone is stressed or upset or having to discuss something hard you see the glass gin bottle come out and two glasses smashed down on the table. Or “you’ll need this (insert alcoholic drink) before I tell you what I’m gonna tell you.”

The main local meeting spot is the Queen Vic pub and they’re constantly showing people the next day after night with hangovers.

They do have a really good storyline about an alcoholic running right now, but it’s a bit rich considering how much the show pushes it.

All that to say alcohol culture is very much pushed onto others so people can just suck it up if a few people write about abstaining from alcohol mainly during one month of the year.

It’s dry January so kind of to be expected. Maybe you know how we all feel other 11 months of the year, particularly December, when media seems to be saturated with content about how amazing booze is!

How boring. Honestly, who wants to know or cares? I don't drink, it doesn't suit me, makes me feel very ill but it wouldn't occur to me to go on about it and it's only mentioned if I'm asked. I could sip a glass if toasting someone at an event and am not evangelical about what others do, though don't like being in the company of heavy drinkers but who does?

And people should care - alcohol is pushing too many people into premature ill health and death.